To want to move my daughter into private education?

[tryingtogetthroughlife]

Here's the back story, my Dd went to a fabulous infant/junior school she thrived there and was very happy, Dh got poached from a company so we moved and enrolled the kids into a new school also have a. Ds at school but we have 4 kids in total two not at school.
Ds is getting on really well but DD is struggling to adjust to the. New school it's a much larger school than she was at previously and has faced a lot of bullying.
Including threats of violence and actual violence I.e kicking being hit on the head.
She's happy with the work and is excelling and by all accounts a model pupil but is struggling with the other children. She's on her own at lunchtime as she doesn't feel able to approach these new kids.
I feel so bad for her especially as she sees Ds getting on so well with the other kids.
She is a gentle soul I've found an all girls private school and she's willing to move and is very happy of the idea.
But Dh says if Ds can't go to a private school then DD shouldn't go.
I'm torn he really likes he's new school and is very settled, he has ASD along with ADHD so I don't want to up heavel him again. DD wants to be a paediatrician I'm worried that if she carries on at this school she will loose her love for learning and just plod through the school years there. Would I be a terrible parent to send her? P.s sorry for the long post I didn't want to drip feed the information.

Humidseptember, haha I want to smack him myself he's advice to DD is try to make friends today.........
Yes that was he's fucking advice!!
By he's own merits he's not a people person and only us a few friends, DD is very social and likes people she's a people pleaser.

Headofthehive, I'm so glad it worked out for you're DD

Ladylanky, at the moment her grades are Great tips for everything I just don't want her to give up. I'm not looking for her to get ahead just to not worry about what's going to happen to her. I've sent her in with her phone as I want to know if anyone threatens her again.

Tryingtogetthroughlife, I completely understand your situation, and would encourage you, if you can to go down the private school option if that would be best for your child.

My daughter (8) attended a brand new Free School (we wanted a Christian school to reflect our family beliefs) from reception until Christmas of year 2. To start with it was a great school community (there were 15 children) so we were close.

A year later (Year 1) they moved to a proper school site and unfortunately there were a few changes of staff and my daughter ended up with a horrible, shouty, arrogant, impatient teacher. She admitted her aggression when I first raised the matter with her, but claimed that it was to help stabilise the class after all of the changes. Unfortunately, little changed and within days of starting year 2 daughter was suffering real anxiety, that we had to keep her home for a few days. In the meantime other parents had separately raised concerns and I even attended a meeting with the board of governors til 11 o'clock one night with another parent, with worse concerns than even I had.

The long and short was that they closed ranks, all whilst praising us on being a great asset to the school. I looked into their eyes and announced there and then, that as there was no true barometer of reason, that there was no one willing to admit that what was happening was unacceptable, that, we'd be taking our daughter from the school. That was the end of November and she had her last day at the Christmas play ... IT'S ONE OF THE BEST THINGS WE HAVE EVER DONE!!

Of course not all private schools are the same, you should interview the head and class teacher regarding pastoral care... They need you as much as you need a new school! We are not people of means, but we manage to scrape the money (just) and still manage to live!

Eastpoint makes an interesting point, but my experience of daughter in a class with 10 classmates, is that the atmosphere is simply lovely.

I sincerely wish you and your family the best - childhood makes and breaks the adults we are. I can tell you know this and so be confident in your decision!!!

I have never taught in a private school but have taught a very boy heavy primary class. There were only 8 girls in the class and over 20 boys. The girls there had more friendship problems than any other class I have ever taught. There were so few of them their relationships were too intense. I taught them twice ,once when they were 9 and a year later when they were 11 and the problems were always there.There wasn't even a Queen Bee just not enough of them! I would avoid a school with such tiny classes.

jan what a great story.

Its not easy to make a fuss is it when the school is loaded against you. Having been in that position I hope I dont sound patronising when I say I think your very very brave and you have one lucky DD

A class of 9 is very small: much too small IMO. As well as the social negatives of this, it will limit the school's resources to offer a varied curriculum etc. Is the school financially viable? It'd be disruptive if it closed down (some small private schools have, especially single sex ones)

Thank you so much - the respect is mutual!

And for your information, we never had much spare money when she was in the free school, so when I found the private school I should have erred on the side of caution, but both my husband and my mom (a pensioner) both said don't worry, we'll find it! And we have, which begs the question, where was all that money going before (shamefaced)!

There's nothing better than investing in a child's future.

I am sympathetic OP, but have you really tried with her current school? Because it sounds like you've had a bit of a chat with her teacher only?
Have you had a formal meeting with the head? Have you got hold of their bullying policy and asked them to give a detailed action plan? Have you spoken to the board of govenors? What have you tried?
I do think it would be better if you try to tackle this fully before you pull her out. Have you told the school your concerns are so serious you're considering moving her?

From what you've said I'm really not sure moving to a small all girls private school is going to help your dd in the long run.

Jantutor, I'm so glad it's worked out for you :)

Hpandbaconsandwhiches, this has been going on since she started. She joined the school about 6 months ago I was dealing with the teacher and deputy head then. Now she's got a new teacher who is trying to tell me that nothing has been logged and she knows nothing about this. I just don't want her to continue being treated like this.

Well great news ladies DH has agreed to look into moving DD fingers crossed we find a good school.
Thankyou for all the advice given and for sharing you're own stories it's really helped. Me with the guilt feeling and strengthened my decision that this is the way forward.
I will also take into account going for a class size that's too small.
Thanks again you all rock

I wasn't really talking about it improving her grades, I just meant that private school is intended to give an advantage and if you pay a pretty substantial amount of money for one child to receive that advantage, even if you don't think it will benefit her in that way, then you need to be aware that it could cause resentment with your other children in the future.
Just something to consider, your younger children won't care now obviously. They might in 10, 15 years time - worth baring in mind

tryingtogetthroughlife thanks for the support. We're very happy even when counting the £1 coins