To call 999?

[laurzj82]

There is a spider the size of a fucking bungalow in DD's room. OH is working abroad. No one else nearby who can help. I threw a shoe at it but missed and it's ran behind her wardrobe.

Totally acceptable to ring for the fire brigade to help, right?

A good aim with the Yellow Pages used to be my default spider fixer. But have you seen the size on it lately?! It's like a pamphlet Spiders have nothing to fear now.

I'm now too terrified to move in case of bloody bastard spiders and their Willy dragging ways

is now a good time to ask if you can get 8 legged freaks on Netflix?

There's a fucking False Widow in the bathroom, I'm staying with my parents and plan on going to bed and shouting down the stairs at my Dad when he gets back from the pub.

Now to do a full spider check of my room!

I know this doesn't help tonight, but buy a bug catcher for future big bastards. I don't mind spiders but I use them for daddy long legs. They make me hyperventilate. I blame Ricky Gervais, he said in his animals DVD that they have poison in their bodies that they apparantly can't ever release, but why take the chance?! Or invest in a cat. My cat loves spiders, maybe they have catnip in them??

I love them, several live in my bathroom.

Last night a huge hairy bastard came trundling into the loo.. whislt I was sat on it... so big you could hear his feet tapping on the floor boards... so big you couldn't put a pint pot over him without chopping off an inch of leg either side... really, really big (and I love 'em and I am not scared of 'em and this guy was big enough to be expected to hold down a full time job and pay rent!)..

He walked up my bare leg .. got to my knee.. and thats where my brave-pants failed and I had to say 'dude, I think that's far enough, you are taking liberties now' and put him on the window sill!

I've got one of those spider catcher thingies but this one wouldn't have fit: it was huuuge! I'm afraid to say said spider is no more. Goady bugger had the cheek to come back out and was on the wall next to DD'S head! Walloped him with one of DD's books. She didn't even stir! Am feeling very brave and scanning the room anxiously for more

You need my terrier, she is like lightening and can catch and incapacitate the biggest spiders by drenching them in dribble and flicking them around the carpet.

Anyway, never mind the spider, you should see the hoofing great fucking HORNETS we've been getting in our house lately. Big orange bastards come right at you like a helicopter, I'm pretty stoic usually but those fuckers make me scream and run.

I used to have a spider catcher...the sort that has kind of fibre optic ends, like a brush and you can open and close them with a trigger. All rather splendid until picking up a rather huge, meaty specimen....it actually pushed the nylon brushes apart and walked out! I freaked and left my OH to deal with the monster.

We had false widows a couple of years ago-one bit Ds2, he still has the scar.
We now have a huge Brown shed spider in the dining room. This is good. When we had false widows they ate every other spider in the vicinity. I dont especially like spiders but am happy to see them nowadays.

And feck off to whoever put the massive picture up! I squealed like a girl and threw my iPad across the sofa. 😂 I am quite pathetic!

WiddlinDiddlin HE WALKED UP YOUR LEG

faints clean away

God why did someone have to mention pregnant spiders?? Grim. I'm lying in bed now with one eye reading this and the other one scanning the bedroom ceiling 😷

We have a hornets nest too....but apparently they are really placid and won't sting unless desperate. Not like evil wasps at all, so don't worry...(too much!)

If a spider walked up my leg id look like the dead people who watched the video in the ring

How do you tell if it's a false widow? I want to know (just in case) but I can't google it because PICTURES

We have only had two huge fuckers in the house so far (that I've seen anyway).

One was in the bathroom on the ceiling. Massive. I jammed the door shut and no-one used it all day until Dp got home. I stood in the doorway and watched while he stood in the bath and scooped it up to put out the window. He then dropped it and it started running down his back. I was nearly hysterical at this point shouting 'bloody catch it!' before he finally got it and put it outside.

Then the other night one decided to run across the living room, headed straight for me. I had my legs up off the floor and was sat yelling 'bloody catch it!' (again) but it ran under the chair. I then had to get off it so dp could find it.

I'm starting to look forward to my hospital stay in a couple of weeks which I hope will be spider free.

I have no issue with any other bug/insect thing or snakes, just bloody spiders.

Taken in my shower.

by the way have you heard of the pregnant biting spiders that crawl over your head and make a tiny bite and lay their eggs in it?
Then one day you will be scratching a spot on your head, and hundreds of tiny spiders will come crawling out....

I'm on Facebook messenger speed dial with my neighbour, as her husband is abroad and she is terrified of spiders.

I once went out with someone who was as terrified of spiders as me. We had a humongous one on the bathroom ceiling. We went out onto the street, hailed a black cab and offered the cabbie a tenner to remove the spider. He obliged.

Some dogs are brilliant at dispatching spiders... My house is littered with the corpses to prove it! DD is forever calling the dog to deal with beasties... 🙄

" We went out onto the street, hailed a black cab and offered the cabbie a tenner to remove the spider. He obliged."

love it......kind of grab a hubby...

Hmmm... Maybe I am missing a business opportunity here... SOS services for spider haters... Me in a boiler suit and the dog in a cape rushing to the rescue (I'm not scared of spiders btw...)😁