To call 999?

[laurzj82]

There is a spider the size of a fucking bungalow in DD's room. OH is working abroad. No one else nearby who can help. I threw a shoe at it but missed and it's ran behind her wardrobe.

Totally acceptable to ring for the fire brigade to help, right?

" i was on jeremy kyle at the weekend right......" emergency services worker here too.

OMG you must have been speaking to the total fuckwit charming example of English male that was bending my ears the other day. "I'm going to go on Jeremy Kyle to get a lie detector to prove I'm not a paedo".

I had to shove my hand in my mouth not to laugh

Get the hoover out

Would not recommend. DH hoovered up an eight legged monster and its home once and we had baby spiders pouring out of our hoover shortly afterwards. It was grim.

I can't find it wails

I'm going to have to move aren't I?

Get a brave person to put it outside... You never know when you'll be repaid...

Thankfully I've yet to see any of the massive house spiders for the past year even last mating season, they may well have just been shagging in secret though.

Smaller ones I co exist with but the big house that seem to be crossed with big foot get squashed I'm afraid

Good sticky Parcel tape does a good job of catching spiders :-)

I'm pretty scared of the biggies...I was always told that if you hoover them up to then stuff the tube of the hoover with a sock otherwise they might crawl back out...aaaarrggghhhhh!

My cat kills spiders and leaves the corpses for me to find. I then leave them for DH to dispose of.

He eats the crane flies, I don't see why he can't eat the bloody spiders too.

Shall I send him round OP?

Poor misunderstood spiders...

runt-of-the-web.com/the-sad-world-of-the-misunderstood-house-spider

Holy fuck

"Will the cat poop spider babies"

buckled

Hahahahaha

Try not to think about the fact that they are all venomous.

Bwhahahaha!

stuff the tube of the hoover with a sock otherwise they might crawl back out...aaaarrggghhhhh!

Like what happened to me with my little spider army trouping out the tube. Sounds cuter than it was.

I hate killing them so opt for the glass & card method. If you tap the glass/cardboard, it supposedly sends vibrations through it that stop the spider from moving. So far so good for me- thank god as I have a real fear of them slipping out of the glass and running up my arm

stuff the tube of the hoover with a sock otherwise they might crawl back out...aaaarrggghhhhh!

Like what happened to me with my little spider army trouping out the tube. Sounds cuter than it was.

I hate killing them so opt for the glass & card method. If you tap the glass/cardboard, it supposedly sends vibrations through it that stop the spider from moving. So far so good for me- thank god as I have a real fear of them slipping out of the glass and running up my arm

Burn the house down. When the fires gone out pour some petrol and burn it again you can never be to sure. Then call the police and fire brigade just to be on the safe side.

Urgh, I just went in bedroom and there was a huge one on ceiling right above my side of bed! DH got it and flushed it. I still don't want to sleep there though.

I was once woken in the middle of the night to DH shouting at someone downstairs.
'You're bang out of order, what would you have done if I hadn't have caught you, you sneaky, cheeky, dirty lowlife c**t' My first thought was an intruder, but by the sounds of it somebody he knows personally. Turns out he's gone down for a drink of water and caught a spider crawling into his shoe in the hallway. He hates them more than anything

Since I joined Forever Living, I have had no problems with spiders. The magical aloe vera ingredients just make those spiders disappear with nothing more than a polite apology. It also works on flies, nits, cockroaches, pyramid sellers, and annoying phone pollsters. PM me for more information!

I probably shouldn't post this, should I??

I'll just leave this here:
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/massive-huntsman-spider-found-inside-scottish-shipping-container-a7238456.html

I have two huge spiders living in massive webs on the front garden. The kids have named them Sue and Sal. I'm really fond of them - I stroked one today and my friend nearly dropped dead with horror.
I'm worried about when they come into the house. The dog will hunt them mercilessly before chewing them and spitting them out.

That's the solution OP! You can borrow my dog, your spider will be killed and Sue and Sal will survive!

I love spiders. They eat flies and all those bastard daddy long legs.

rackhampearl . To be fair it was an intruder!!

Am now sat on my sofa, scanning the room like Predator, jumping every time i think i see something out of the corner of my eye. Too scared to go to bed until DH comes home.

Thanks PPs (i'm not bloody scanning back up to find your names) for the truly terrifying pictures

I let the little ones (smaller than a 20p) and the spindly ones live (i've heard they eat the big muthafuckers), but that is as far as my charity goes.

Narnian we also have a pet spider in a bush in the garden. Any flies in the house, the children fly swat them then take them to the spider who does wrap them up. I realize this is an odd thing to do, but it keeps us happy.

rackhampearl, I like your dh's style! My dh ( who is a copper) will stare directly at offending varmint and say in his New York accent " Whaat spidah? I dont see a damn thing" all the while backing slowly away.. because he is a lily livered COWARD! I on the other hand, am quick draw with the my handy ElNet hairspray and will solidify creature into mass of spider fuzz.

With the cardboard, don't use a pint glass, use clear tupperware. It is wider, so easier to catch them if they sense you coming and start running. And if you panic and drop it, it doesn't slip out of your hand missing the fucking spider and shatter on the floor.