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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your biggest regret is?

118 replies

healthyobsessions · 14/09/2016 18:53

As the title says really..... sometimes find myself racked with guilt for past mistakes so it would be comforting to know I'm not alone.....

OP posts:
R2G · 14/09/2016 19:06

Spending too much time and energy on ungrateful nasty people, and so the regret comes because I should have focused on the ones that matter and care.

Toadinthehole · 14/09/2016 19:27

Emigrating. My parents said nothing at the time and supported me in my choice, but I have since realised that it really hurt them.

Buzzardbird · 14/09/2016 19:29

I never regret what I've done, only what I haven't done.

Difficult to go forward when you are always looking backwards.

MoonStar07 · 14/09/2016 19:30

Try not to think about regrets. Only sets you back. I don't regret much! Maybe drinking too much at uni lol or perhaps I should have shagged around more lol

milkyface · 14/09/2016 19:30

Bought this house looks at water pissing through cellar wall

Must sell it in summer

irelephant · 14/09/2016 19:31

Nothing. I've had shitty abusive relationships but I wouldn't have my DD's without them.

EssentialHummus · 14/09/2016 19:31

Not realising sooner that the dynamic between me and my mum, principally because of her issues, isn't my fault. I'm still racking up the therapy bills!

OhMrBadger · 14/09/2016 19:32

Not learning to drive 20 years ago.

tibbawyrots · 14/09/2016 19:33

All you can do is learn from mistakes. You can't go back in time to unmake them so take something positive from it.

Nakupenda · 14/09/2016 19:33

Being such a horrible mother to my youngest DD in her first year.
PND ruined me and I was horrid to her.

I actually regret having her because the guilt I carry around from her first year cripples me.

Sad
LobsterQuadrille · 14/09/2016 19:36

Being a drunk for many years.

pleasemothermay1 · 14/09/2016 19:37

Having a child with my ex

Don't regret my son but hugly regret Giving my son such a shit dad

Longdistance · 14/09/2016 19:38

Giving up my career after having dd's, and emigrating to boring Perth Western Australia.

Biggest regret of my life, as now I'm in a job earning half what I was before and it's miserable.

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋 < for the bitterness

LadyMC1 · 14/09/2016 19:41

I'm with buzzard. Regret nothing as I'm boring. Safe. Dependable. That person you can always count on to be there but not be fun. That's me.
So I'm changing it. Learning to ride a motorbike is my first step.

LadyMC1 · 14/09/2016 19:42

Nakupenda - you are doing just fine now. DC loves you and that's what matters right now. X

Original poster
healthyobsessions · 14/09/2016 19:45

buzzardbird - that is such a good perspective to have as your right, you can't change the past....

tibbawyrots - your right, looking back doesn't undo anything...

milkyface - that made me giggle!

nakupenda - I can relate, I had PND too and often feel guilty for not being a better mother for the first years of her life Flowers

OP posts:
Branleuse · 14/09/2016 19:45

i regret loads of things ive done and loads of things I havent done, but im not going to reel off a list of my regrets as its so personal and I would be judged quite harshly for sure

Original poster
healthyobsessions · 14/09/2016 19:46

branleuse - that's understandable but if you ever do wish to share, there's no judging from me Smile

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/09/2016 19:47

I have so many. SO MANY. It takes me years and years to make some decisions, and then I regret it forever! Actually, that tells me that the decisions I find hardest to make are probably decisions I don't WANT to make because neither option is good.

I regret:

  • spending 3 years with one ex;
  • not going into the career that I trained for;
  • marrying my first husband;
  • moving away from my lovely flat;
  • leaving my full time job;
  • moving away from my house after we'd divorced;
  • spending so much on the house I bought, instead of buying a smaller place in a better street;
  • marrying DH2;
user1468407812 · 14/09/2016 19:54

Not going to college.
Not going to uni.
Smoking when I was younger.

Secretmetalfan · 14/09/2016 19:58

Not doing a degree/career I enjoyed more
Waiting so long to have kids

Heatherbell1978 · 14/09/2016 20:00

Most of the properties I've bought (the first 3 I only owned for 18 months each) including the house we bought last year that we live in now. I can be quite impulsive and convincing. I wish we'd bought a smaller, older property closer to town.
That and squandering all the bonuses I received in my 20s when things in my industry were good. I had a great time but have nothing tangible to show for it. That money would be used so much more wisely now.

londonrach · 14/09/2016 20:01

Dont regret anything as the mistakes have made me who i am. If i hadnt made the mistakes i have i wouldnt have learnt from them...

londonrach · 14/09/2016 20:02

Actually i do...i regret not buying a property in london which then doubled in prize in 6 months!!!

londonrach · 14/09/2016 20:02

Price not prize