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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your biggest regret is?

118 replies

healthyobsessions · 14/09/2016 18:53

As the title says really..... sometimes find myself racked with guilt for past mistakes so it would be comforting to know I'm not alone.....

OP posts:
Original poster
healthyobsessions · 14/09/2016 20:47

witsender - I also made that mistake!! Luckily, I've managed to get a lot of it off now but it took me a blooming long time Shock

OP posts:
Squtternutbosch · 14/09/2016 20:49

Having an abortion
Taking up smoking in my teens
Not realizing I was letting my relationship with the man I loved slip away
Not then walking away from said man with my dignity in tact when I knew he was cheating

LobsterQuadrille · 14/09/2016 20:51

The trouble with changing one thing, years ago, is that it's impossible to say that you'd be in the same place but with that one aspect changed. It's more like John Wyndham/Sliding Doors and you'd be a million miles away. So I suppose I don't regret going through AA and getting sober - but I do regret the hurt that I caused the people I love.

ByAllMeansMoveAtAGlacialPace · 14/09/2016 20:52

Bleaching my hair and getting a credit card at 18

ByAllMeansMoveAtAGlacialPace · 14/09/2016 20:52

Bleaching my hair and getting a credit card at 18

Lucinda1989 · 14/09/2016 20:57

Being unemployed for all my youth. I was studying hard but I feel it left me lonely.

fluffypacman · 14/09/2016 21:04

Drinking too much when I was younger and it making me promiscuous. I'm lucky to have escaped without an STD. Having a 3some with two men who didn't give a shit about me and then loads of people finding out and gossiping about it. I felt shame for many years.

Lovefromhull · 14/09/2016 21:10

Debt

Fortitudine · 14/09/2016 21:10

Having an abortion. It sent me into such a tailspin mentally that I'm lucky to still be here. I regret it with all my heart.

mineofuselessinformation · 14/09/2016 21:16

Not being brave enough to pursue my dream of being a doctor.
Thinking that somebody loved me as much as I loved them - got proved wrong after marrying them and having children with them - but don't regret the children for a second, but:
Passing a pre-disposition to an auto-immune disease on to dc1, who is, after being very ill, healthy ATM, but could fall ill and die before me.
Passing a genetic defect on to dc2 (I'm a carrier and so is XH, we didn't know).
I would give anything to change the last two, and I have to live with the knowledge of what their lives are every day.

dietstartsmonday · 14/09/2016 21:18

Not knowing my dad was so depressed that he would attempt suicide again and succeed.
It's been 6 months now and that guilt eats away at me

HollyBrown · 14/09/2016 21:18

Going back to work too soon. I'm missing the best part of my kids for a shit job that pays peanuts and feel so trapped.

angeldiver · 14/09/2016 21:21

I regret walking in on the one man I truly loved in bed with another woman.
It changed the whole path I took in life, which I don't regret but I was never able to love the same after that. I couldn't let myself get in a situation where I could be hurt so deeply and for so long.

bimbobaggins · 14/09/2016 21:24

Spending all of my adult life trying to loose weight only to regain it every time. There's not n hour of the day that doesn't pass without me thinking about how fat I am . Life is passing me by and I never do anything because I am ashamed of how I look.

mineofuselessinformation · 14/09/2016 21:37

Flowers for you, dietstartstomorrow.

mineofuselessinformation · 14/09/2016 21:39

Sorry, that was to dietstartsmonday.

Original poster
healthyobsessions · 14/09/2016 21:52

Flowers to you all and thank you for sharing!! As many of you have said, our past shapes us and none of us are perfect, we need to remember that and learn from our mistakes and look to the future and what we can change now Smile

OP posts:
ABloodyDifficultWoman · 14/09/2016 21:55

Fucking about instead of going to Uni. Fucking about pointlessly instead of, say, fucking about travelling Europe and learning another language.
Time and emotional energy expended on a friendship that ended sourly. I always knew she was a sociopath - God alone knows why I allowed it develop past one coffee morning!
But really - regrets are SO pointless aren't they? Without the bad shit we wouldn't be who we are - and we are meant to be who we are.

tametempo · 14/09/2016 22:02

Having an abortion (surprisingly seen that mentioned a few times on this thread)
It's the only thing that makes me desperately wish I could turn the clocks back and change.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 14/09/2016 22:03

Not working harder at school and reaching my potential earlier in life.

Not believing in myself

Not appreciating the early years of my DC more as those years go so quickly. My mum told me they would be 'a blip in my life' - I should have believed her

Not telling my darling sister I loved (love?) her so so much before she died. Not accepting (as she had done) that she WAS going to die and my trying to stop it (through some quackery) was never going to change the inevitable fact.

backtowork2015 · 14/09/2016 22:08

Smoking when I was younger. I'm terrified I have shortened the time I will be there for my dc.
trying so hard to breastfeed. I call it my lost 5 weeks with my dd, I spent them in agony, crying and bleeding instead of enjoying my beautiful newborn and I'll never get that time again Sad

BonnieF · 14/09/2016 22:17

I find it a bit odd that some people say they don't have regrets. Surely they must look back at their lives and identify at least a few things they wish they had done differently? They must have made a lot fewer mistakes than me.

My main regret is that I wish I had never started smoking. I only did it because my mates smoked on nights out at university. It's a waste of money and quitting is a lot harder than starting, in case you were wondering.....

LazyJournalistsCanKissMyArse · 14/09/2016 22:21

Not a regret as such but I wish I hadn't worried so much when I was younger. Everything turned out okay in the end.

TiverMeShimbers · 14/09/2016 22:23

The things I regret have probably shaped my life as it is now. And I generally like my life now, so maybe I should let it all go.

I regret:

Cheating on my boyfriend years ago. He is now my DH and I will never get over how much I hurt him or how I could have lost him.

Spending much of my teens & 20s smoking dope - it was a horrible insidious habit that robbed me of all ambition, drive & energy as well causing a decline in my health, fitness & social circle. What a waste of a decade.

Going to uni to study something that I didn't love because I couldn't think of anything else to do. Why oh why did I not think about taking a year out? Why didn't I look for more ideas of careers?

Spending too much time fucking about on the internet. Oh wait....

velocitygir1 · 14/09/2016 22:24

Msrinky oh my goodness WHY not???? Are you mad woman??? It's Evan Dando!!!!! WinkShock