To ask what your biggest regret is?

[healthyobsessions]

As the title says really..... sometimes find myself racked with guilt for past mistakes so it would be comforting to know I'm not alone.....

Letting various arseholes walk over me.

Not working hard enough. Coasting. Not writing a damned book. Other then that investing way too much time and energy into emotionally draining, selfish parents.

• Marrying my first love
• Allowing my ex MIL to call the shots on how to bring up my children
• Being sucked in by the opinions of others (Who turned out that they set out to lower my self esteem and capability - they succeeded until I realised what their game was)
• Left my secure job to bring up my children as ex H made it impossible for me to work and raise my children. It turned out he used this against me in Court
• I didn't listen properly to my DD who was being victimised by a leader at her drama group (She saw DD as a threat to her own DD). My DD suffered severe psychological damage as a result.

This thread has made me think about my past failings. Thank you OP. When we realise our mistakes we become more empowered to make sure we don't make those mistakes again

Being afraid.

Afraid of what people thought of me.
Afraid that I wasn't good enough.
Afraid that I was going to let people down.

I was afraid of losing my parents, my dad died a couple of months ago, and I am getting through the grief, I am still breathing, I am still here. I am no longer afraid.

I don't really have many regrets but I was badly hurt by some very toxic people a couple of years ago. I wish that I had realised sooner so I didn't waste so much time on them.

Becoming a teacher rather than going into stage management..
To be fair I actually enjoy teaching now I am in a lovely school...but I really really wish I worked in the theatre..

Not buying a flat or house when I was a student. Selling my London flat. Moving 300 miles from my Mum.

cranky That brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry about your dad.

Mine is not having children sooner. I thought it would be shit, but it's not it's great. It's too late for me to have a second now, and that's ok, but if I'd known how lovely it is being a mum, I would have had more and earlier.

Drinking far too much for far too long.

A few, but then again too few to mention... ;-)

These are the ones that arent too heart wrenching to think about anymore... and I imagine one day all regrets become like this:

• Not realising my self-worth in comparison to the 'popular girls' at secondary school
• My first ever cigarette
• My first ever taste of Gin
• Putting ExP's name on DD's birth certificate
• Having let ExP off the hook by not pressing charges for domestic abuse because I was scared of the repercussions

Not buying property before it went out-of-control expensive.

Smoking.

Most of my teenage choices.

Most of my boyfriends.

An abortion

Like others, letting PND cripple me for years, and not being there for DS2. He needed speech therapy, and had/has behavioural issues, and I'm sure it's because I didn't engage fully with him when he was wee.

Staying with my ex a bit too long, when I could have been partying and shagging beautiful men

I'm too young for big regrets. I live in fear that in ten years time, innocuous decisions I am making now will hit me like a wrecking ball of FUCKING WHYYYY

Not doing well at school.

Meeting and marrying dh

God that's sad. I love our kids but that's about it

Getting into debt. I've remortgaged and paid it all off now but I won't forget the path it lead me down. It was so lonely and isolating and was a huge weight to carry around. I will never forget it and never go there again.

Standing next to the man I adore, gazing at him, the wrong words came out of my mouth. I didn't mean them and nor did my subconscious. I don't know where the heck they came from. But nothing would persuade him to forgive me, though I tried, I really tried.

I don't regret most things as I wouldn't be me without the mistakes in my life but one thing that I really regret is that I wouldn't let my grandad spend a lot of money on a holiday for us all as I thought he couldn't afford it and would leave himself short. I overrode his objections. After he died there was a lot more money than I thought. I denied him the pleasure of seeing us happy and he would probably have enjoyed that holiday more than the cheaper holiday I let him buy. I really regret that, as he hadn't had a lot of luxury in his life. That's probably my biggest regret and I do dwell on it sometimes.

Not shagging Evan Dando in 1991. Sigh.

I don't believe in regrets generally but the only thing I will regret as long as I live is not flying back to the UK for my younger brother's wedding.

I was 13 weeks pregnant when DH and I headed back to UK for our own wedding party, and during this holiday he broke the news that he had a form of cancer but at that point we didn't know what it was.

Long story short, after 3 weeks I flew back to where DH and I live, and DBro was diagnosed with a rare cancer but given a decent prognosis. He had his Dfiancee decided to get married quickly (they were engaged but not planning for an immediate wedding) before his chemo started. At this point I was 17 weeks and just couldn't afford to fly back so soon after having been there for a month, and was consoled by DBro that I would be back for their "proper wedding" the following year.

I did go back the following year but it was for his funeral. I will always regret not being there to watch him marry his love.

I don't believe in regrets generally but the only thing I will regret as long as I live is not flying back to the UK for my younger brother's wedding.

I was 13 weeks pregnant when DH and I headed back to UK for our own wedding party, and during this holiday he broke the news that he had a form of cancer but at that point we didn't know what it was.

Long story short, after 3 weeks I flew back to where DH and I live, and DBro was diagnosed with a rare cancer but given a decent prognosis. He had his Dfiancee decided to get married quickly (they were engaged but not planning for an immediate wedding) before his chemo started. At this point I was 17 weeks and just couldn't afford to fly back so soon after having been there for a month, and was consoled by DBro that I would be back for their "proper wedding" the following year.

I did go back the following year but it was for his funeral. I will always regret not being there to watch him marry his love.

Having kids...but I'm on my 4 th glass of wine.so maybe sober I'd say ,fuck it.life is to short for regrets

I can't regret anything as such, because if I hadn't made certain mistakes, my life wouldn't be how it is now. I may not have met my DH, I may not have my babies etc.
If I could go back though, I would probably make sure I was a 100m or so further back, and avoid a huge explosion resulting in catastrophic injury and chronic pain for the rest of my life But it's all swings and roundabouts really. That experience has made me the person I am today, so again, I can't really "regret" it as such.

Not spending every waking minute with my Dad in his last few weeks. x

Not realising I was slender and attractive...even up to a few years ago. So I didn't take care of myself, and am now somehow 4 stone overweight and don't seem to have the willpower to fight it.

strokethefurrywall - I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss I don't know you but I'm sure your DB will have completely understood