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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About dds weight

96 replies

Purplesky2 · 14/09/2016 14:38

I'm getting stressed about dds weight.
She is 5 next week and very tall 122cm. She weighs nearly 25kg (24.7kg on my scales). On then nhs bmi calculator that is just about fine but in some of the others she is overweight. She looks solid - no fat on body but I would like to help her drop 1kg or stay static for rest of year. I've started watching her diet a lot more and she has started school now so not with me constantly asking for food and I think school dinners are less than the hearty meals her private nursery gave and loved to feed her seconds. She has a hearty appetite and loves food. It makes me sad to be stricter but it is for her own good. AIBU trainable to be so stressed. My slightly older boys are skinny but different build so I have never had to worry before!

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 14/09/2016 20:32

she not fat but I'd say carrying a little extra weight. I'd focus on getting her out playing more and being healthy than worrying too much on weight.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 14/09/2016 20:48

Jesus she isn't carrying extra weight.

op I have a solid child. Dh says she is a unit (obviously when she is not there) she is on 91centile for height and weight, has been since she was born. She towers over her little friends - even the boys.

Just let her be - it there is an issue it will get flagged somewhere.

She is not overweight!

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 14/09/2016 20:49

I have overweight children in my family and I also taught children sport for ten years. Your child is not overweight or carrying a few extra anything

MuseumOfCurry · 14/09/2016 20:54

My youngest (10) has a tendency to ebb and flow (my oldest is a beanpole).

My husband and I moderate the entire family's activity and diet if we think he's getting a bit chubby, but in way that's entirely opaque to him.

MrsMook · 14/09/2016 20:59

I'm used to my ribby DCs, and she looks fine to me. I can see a hint of ribs, and there's no excess on her hips, abdomen or chest.

It's sensible to keep an eye on children having a healthy build, diet and lifestyle and making sure that everything is in balance.

imwithspud · 14/09/2016 21:00

Carrying a little extra weight??? Where exactly?Confused

Thefitfatty · 14/09/2016 21:05

Who the fuck are these aneorexic twits saying this child is carrying a little extra weight? She's 5! They get pudgy before growth spurts! Even then she's a normal healthy kid! Ffttfsof

bruffin · 14/09/2016 21:10

she is on the 76th centile which is no where near overweight, you have to be in the 90 something centile even to be classed as overweight, let alone obese.

Lunchboxlewiswillyoumarryme · 14/09/2016 21:11

It to shall pass...I was a fat child...couldn't walk till I was two.looked like a beach ball..apparently my mother was told by the Drs to put double powder in my milk from birth..I only ever found one photo of me as a baby...I knew why when I saw it..apparently I was a lovely plasid baby...I bum shuffled till 2.. To heavy to walk..that's fat for a chil

Minky00 · 14/09/2016 21:13

I agree BMI is a load of crap. I stopped flying with them after we flew with them to Bristol but they sent our luggage to Gatwick. We didn't even get an apology from the useless s*ds.

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 14/09/2016 21:13

OP, your DD isn't fat or particularly solid. My DD is also tall and looks quite similar to that. I'd say se was tall and slim! Her legs are probably slimmer than your DDs but her torso is very very similar I'd say. She turned 6 last week and is 117cm and 20 or 21kg, so your DD sounds fine to me!

Basicbrown · 14/09/2016 21:15

The BMI calculator says she's fine. She looks fine. Are you worried about the letter or her health?

And I have one devastatingly slim dc. Your dd looks much the same as my other 4.5 year old dd who is just above average on the bmi spectrum with an average build.

Lunchboxlewiswillyoumarryme · 14/09/2016 21:15

My weight matched my age for years ..shit microwave meals,crisps ,no exercise..left home alone at a young age to eat bowls of cereal and hid the empty dishes under my bed..aged 6. Reached 25 stone..that's some achievement...the stomach stretches each time you over eat.needs more to fill it..I was always hungry ..

Lunchboxlewiswillyoumarryme · 14/09/2016 21:22

With my history,I watch like a haulk what they eat.never make them finish their meals.fruit only between meals ,often that's a no...a 3 hours of karate a week.yogurt or fruit as dessert...packed lunch.not school stodgy dinners ..we all eat the same.no crisps or crap in the house.ive lost 10 stone..ill be fucked if my kids end up fat like I was

MuseumOfCurry · 14/09/2016 21:35

I'm really shocked, your daughter looks perfectly proportioned to me.

Pilgit · 14/09/2016 21:42

Are people looking at the same photo! She is not in need of losing anything. She looks fit and healthy. Yes a healthy diet is the thing to go for and exercise- get the habits started young. But what people's experience shows on this thread is that people are different shapes and sizes even on the same diet. I ate less than my sister as a child - she was skinny I was chubby (I'm not mistaken in this - our DM monitored our intake closely - that's an entire thread of itself and the weird relationship I have with food as a result).

kerryob · 14/09/2016 21:42

BMI was created by an American insurance company, its a guide not the be and end all. You only have to look at the bmi of athletes to see how wrong it can be.

Do not put your daughter on a diet, never use the word diet in front of her. I still have memories of being really young & my mother putting me on a diet, she was always critical of my weight & it made me feel worthless. My value in her eyes felt linked to my weight. I've had a lifetime of eating disorders & I'm now grossly overweight as my relationship with food is screwed up 😞 I'm now seeking professional help to get me over my food issues & I've cut my mother off.

If you are worried about her eating change your lifestyle, not just your daughters but your whole family. Do not single her out, do not tell her you are doing it for her own good, do not make her feel ashamed of her body.

Take up a sport with her, swimming, tennis, dancing pick a form of exercise she loves and make it fun so she'll want to keep going. Turn it into a positive. Regarding food get her cooking with you, preparing lunch together, pick foods you know she will find filling and get her to drink more water. You clearly love her, just make sure you show it in a positive way

liz70 · 14/09/2016 21:48

There is nothing wrong with your daughter. She is not overweight.
Stop worrying, relax and just enjoy her! Smile

38cody · 14/09/2016 21:53

Why not park 10 mins away from school and do a brisk walk - morning excessive is good for body and brain ready for learning and less stress trying to park.

bruffin · 14/09/2016 22:51

Kerryob
Childrens bmi is not reported as a bmi, it reports it as a centile against other children of the same age. Ops dd bmi is on the 76th centile
That means against children born on the same date and of the same height there will be 75% under her weight and 23% above her weight. Thenhs guideline show that bmi on 85th centile is needed for monitoring and 91st for clinical assesment.

ClopySow · 14/09/2016 23:43

Is the extra weight she's carrying not in the photo redbubble

Maybe in a rucksack or something?

You have seriously skewed views on body image if you think that's extra weight.

RonaldMcDonald · 14/09/2016 23:56

I dunno about kids or adults
I try to give them healthy food and as much fruit as they want
They only drink water
They are skinny, my 9 yo weighs 4 st 1. The GP says kids should be ribby. Some of my friend have bigger kids but their diet is the same
I literally don't know but I wish we focussed less on this

MaudlinNamechange · 15/09/2016 00:09

I read the OP and was concerned that most of the thread would be tooth-sucking virtue-signallers giving poor and dangerous advice to encourage her to lose weight.

Happy to see that is not the case! (only the odd one)

But all the same I would say this:

  • MN is not the place to discuss this usefully. There are a lot of very unhelpful tropes trotted out very authoritatively on here that are dangerous and triggering for some people. I think you need to take your concerns to a pro in real life - for reassurance, not because I think you have anything to be concerned about. MN-ers are, as a group, appalling on weight and nutrition and what could and should be done about it (with the odd heckled-over exception)
  • I think you should get help for yourself. This is a lot of worry you are carrying, and there are very good chances that it will rub off from you, unwittingly and unwillingly, and affect your dd's relationship with her body. She is very young and very impressionable. Please take this seriously and think about how not to do damage.
madein1995 · 15/09/2016 00:11

I think it's shocking you think she needs to lose weight op she looks slim, not at all fat. By all means eat healthier but that kid doesn't need to lose weight

liz70 · 15/09/2016 00:20

"She does look a bit chubby, but not overly so. I think it would be easy to sort with a strict eye on what she can eat and more excersise."

Please, PLEASE, ignore the above astonishing example of utter fuckwittery.