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MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

To think this was nuts?

190 replies

HollyCarrot · 12/09/2016 22:04

Bringing dc to school this morning, got on train when man and his dc appears at door and asks if we're going to our school. I said we were and he says can you take my dc. Being a people pleasing fool and stunned I said yes and proceeded to take his dc on short train trip and five min walk across very busy roads to school. Am still annoyed this evening, had never spoken to the guy or his kid before, he just handed his child over to a complete and utter stranger!

OP posts:

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PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 13/09/2016 18:52

I wonder what he does on the return. Stops random people, ask if they're going to school, show them a photo of his child and ask them to collect said child and meet him back there?!? Lol.

He will continue to ask you now he knows his child got there safely on 2 occasions

HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 19:12

If he does it tomorrow I will just no. Am just dreading it though. I'm afraid he's going to spoil my birthday

OP posts:

CafeCremeEtCroissant · 13/09/2016 19:23

It'll only spoil you birthday if you let it. You have reported it to the school. If he's there tomorrow, just take him, at least then you know he's safe with you until you get to school.

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 19:35

Minions, I have spent the last two days worrying about this. I suffer from anxiety and if there is confrontation in the morning it will very much upset me. You might not believe but no need to keep posting if you don't.

OP posts:

DietCockBreak · 13/09/2016 19:39

Honestly, he won't keep asking once the school (or SS) have a word. If he does the same for the next few days I would just do it. At least the kid won't get murdered if he's with you! But every day you do it, phone the head and tell her it happened again.

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 19:42

I'm just struggling to believe it - especially the spoil my birthday part. I'm very much within my right to post my opinion on the matter, even if it is wrong or in contrast with others.

As you suffer from anxiety then you need to address that, and I hope you are.

In terms of tomorrow you need to take positive action. Don't be a spectator in your life. You've told yourself you can't cope before you've even begun - of course it will end badly. You have options and choices, don't be a victim.

HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 19:45

You can struggle minions but it is true. So either accept that or stop questioning my veracity. As for anxiety, I am over a year into counselling and on medication. Thanks for your concern.

OP posts:

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 19:49

See I don't know why you've got spiky - can't you see how unbelievable it is - the thread title is "To think this was nuts?"

It's the Internet for goodness sakes. People lie all the time I assume!

I am truely glad you are seeing a counsellor for your anxiety and I hope it is helping. What about contacting them tomorrow and explaining the situation - see if they can fit you in for an extra session, or give you some practical tips?

HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 19:51

I am spiky because surely repeatedly questioning the veracity of a thread doesn't tend to make the liars throw their hands in the air and admit they were found out? You're meant to just report the thread and let HQ look into it.

OP posts:

Topseyt · 13/09/2016 19:58

I think you have done the right thing telling the headteacher.

As to those questioning the veracity of this post, I grew up in a teaching family. My Dad was a headteacher and my Mum a teacher.

Recalling some of the stories they can recount, I can assure you that things like this do happen. Fact can indeed be stranger than fiction. Nuff said!

ptumbi · 13/09/2016 20:01

Holly - how about if he asks you tomorrow to take his child, you say 'I can't, I've been told by SS/Headteacher that it is a huge safeguarding issue'.

Which it is; you are opening yourself up to all sorts of issues (not of your doing), and you have no contact details if the child runs off/gets hurt or abducted from you!
It might make him think twice. And def tell the H/T every time he asks you.

It is unbelievable these days.

HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 20:08

Ptumbi - that reads great for me in theory but in reality I just seem to freeze up and go into people pleasing mode. Very annoying but I can't seem to rewire myself.

OP posts:

Scarydinosaurs · 13/09/2016 20:10

minions troll hunting is shitty, don't do it. Report it, if that's what you think.

Well done for calling the head- I would put money on the fact you won't see him tomorrow.

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 20:10

Holly all I wrote was, Come on, surely this is a wind up... who says that?

It's nothing more or less than I would have said in a rl conversation. They would maybe say something like, "I know, stranger than fiction, but it's absolutely true!"

Then you throw anxiety into the mix which is the first I'd read you mention it, so I'm trying to support you on that and give you a bit of a boost...

To be honest I feel like you are projecting your stress about the situation and your frustration at your lack of assertiveness into me.

That's fine, I can take it, but it won't help you at all.

VelvetSpoon · 13/09/2016 20:11

Can't help finding a lot of responses on here a little hysterical. All this talk of safeguarding etc.

When I was in infants school many of my friends walked the 10-15 minutes from home to school alone. More recently, I know other parents who put their DC on a bus/ train to school unaccompanied from the age of 6/7. The OP clearly has a kid St the same school - maybe his DC even knows her DC/ pointed them out to Dad. Yes I guess you could be a murdered, but going on a school run route with a child dressed in school uniform hoping someone will ask you to take their DC to school seems a pretty unlikely modus operandi.

This guy may be an entitled freeloader, but he might not be. There are myriad genuine reasons he could have done this, as well as a lot of shit ones. If he is genuine, I feel bloody sorry for him - having been on the end of school safeguarding crap (in my case, the school refusing to allow my then y4 DS to walk part of the way home on his own - a 10 min walk on a straight road, at the end of which he'd be met by his then y8 brother and telling me I'd be reported to SS if this persisted. I was told I HAD to find an afterschool childminder, or else I should reduce my working hours - no thought of how I was meant to pay my mortgage if I did the latter..) I can only say that if this chap needs help and support, let's hope the school are more enlightened than mine, otherwise he'll get fuck all.

HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 20:15

Velvet, I know it might read a bit hysterical. It's just the roads are busy with rush hour traffic and there are two crossings to be made with no lights. And I do think it's madness to ask a complete stranger who you have never spoken to to bring your kid to school, it wouldn't cross my mind in a million years.

OP posts:

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 20:18

Scarydinosaurs I'm actually surprised to read that term. That was absolutely not my intention. I don't think op is a troll at all and never implied that.

YouTheCat · 13/09/2016 20:19

Minions, troll hunting is against the talk guidelines. To do it once on a thread is bad enough but to keep on is crap behaviour.

Velvet, schools have a duty of care. Can you imagine the fallout for a school if they let a child out on their own and something happened to them? This man's childcare arrangements are nothing to do with the OP and it is shitty he is putting a total stranger, and his child, in this position.

Scarydinosaurs · 13/09/2016 20:21

minions saying: who says that is really rude- if you aren't troll hunting, you're just trying to make the OP feel pathetic to be worried about a confrontation in front of her child with a man who clearly has no idea about social boundaries.

The whole point of mumsnet is to be supportive and help each other out. You can give your opinion, but how was that meant to help the OP?

Scarydinosaurs · 13/09/2016 20:22

It's nothing more or less than I would have said in a rl conversation. They would maybe say something like, "I know, stranger than fiction, but it's absolutely true!"

Can you not see expecting the OP to confirm her story is true is troll hunting?

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 20:25

scary that does make sense when you explain it like that - which is supportive and I thank you for that.

But calling my behaviour shitty without explaination is no so supportive, so hopefully we can both learn something here.

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HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 20:27

Well Minons, it has made me feel shittier about facing tomorrow morning, I can tell you that.

OP posts:

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 20:33

Why has my making a discussion board faux pas here this evening in anyway affected how you feel about tomorrow?

How does one thing affect the other? I don't get it. Even if I kept on being a troll hunting dick (which I will keep in mind in future comments and threads) how would that make facing tomorrow morning any better or worse?

I would genuinely and in kindness ask you to consider this. It doesn't make any sense. I do say this in kindness. You are now blaming me for the anxiety that was already there.

VelvetSpoon · 13/09/2016 20:35

Op, I didn't mean you were being hysterical, sorry if it came out that way. I think you did a really kind thing helping with this child. I take your point about the roads etc, I guess that's why he wouldn't leave child to do journey on his own. Is he from another culture? I just wonder because i know some of my friends not from the UK would probably consider this low risk/ acceptable.

As for this being the school's duty of care, why exactly? This is on the way to school, after all. Is their role to actually help/ support parents, or (as was my experience) just berate me for daring to have a job?! I have to say, based on my experience I wouldn't have informed the school.

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