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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was nuts?

190 replies

HollyCarrot · 12/09/2016 22:04

Bringing dc to school this morning, got on train when man and his dc appears at door and asks if we're going to our school. I said we were and he says can you take my dc. Being a people pleasing fool and stunned I said yes and proceeded to take his dc on short train trip and five min walk across very busy roads to school. Am still annoyed this evening, had never spoken to the guy or his kid before, he just handed his child over to a complete and utter stranger!

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 13/09/2016 12:32

Next time, Tell the bloke you'll be taking the kid straight to the office to report him. Then wave bye bye Confused

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 13/09/2016 12:54

It's totally unreasonable but could you really walk away from a 6 yo who's awful father can't look after him properly?

I think you should take him again and go straight to the school office and say what is happening. Who on earth lets a small child like that go off with any random stranger. It's appalling behaviour.

CrazyDuchess · 13/09/2016 13:00

You have to say something to the school and to the gentleman tomorrow morning - madness!

ofhorse · 13/09/2016 13:02

I feel so sorry for the little boy in this case. This is totally mad. That poor boy!

You have to assert yourself tomorrow op- good luck!!!

Jackie0 · 13/09/2016 13:07

I'm commenting purely to find out what happens tomorrow .
Don't do it op , seriously

MothersGrim · 13/09/2016 13:08

Oh definitely report to the school.

Get an earlier train tomorrow, change where you sit for the week etc. Just be unreliable.

divafever99 · 13/09/2016 13:15

I would report to the school, it could be the tip of the iceberg. School runs are difficult to fit in around work/other commitments but he will just have to get on with it and either pay for childcare or adjust working patterns like the rest of us do.

RedSauceAndJellyJuice · 13/09/2016 13:21

Just tell him you are not prepared to do it anymore
Weird behaviour though

trevortrevorslatterfry · 13/09/2016 13:26
Shock
CryingShame · 13/09/2016 13:38

Repeat after me "NO YOU DON'T - we're going to the doctor's before school so YOU'LL have to take him" and practise your Paddington stare.

Bloody nerve.

Can you get the preceding, earlier, train for a bit?

BlueFolly · 13/09/2016 13:38

I would definitely take the child into the school office and explain.

Don't get why on earth you would agree the second time though!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 13/09/2016 13:44

Going out on a limb here, but........

is there any chance this man thinks he does know you? Like, there is no chance he lives 4 doors away from you and you just didn't recognise him.....?

BlueLeopard · 13/09/2016 13:45

Bring him into the school office the next time and flag it with them. What if the mother is unaware that dad is fobbing the child off on strangers at a train station?

What if the child got ill /took a fit on the way to school in your care - you don't have any information to contact parents. The dad made no effort to give you contact information or even his name Hmm

SheldonsSpot · 13/09/2016 13:48

So you got the child's name this time, and his class, and you went and spoke to someone at school about this, right?

Skittlesss · 13/09/2016 13:57

Why haven't you told school?!

ReadyToSignOff · 13/09/2016 13:58

The dad is being very unfair to you to ask you to take responsibility for his child and unbelievably cheeky to do it more than once without even asking! What if the child ran off or had a medical condition that you were unaware of? Like you, I would have probably been shocked into meekly doing it first time round, but would have worried about 'what ifs' later. If you offered to take a friend's child that would be a completely different matter. Remember that it isn't the child's fault though if you have to challenge his behaviour - my mum was a single working parent with an early morning start and I was fed up with going round in the car with her before school every morning before I could get dropped off. She suggested I knock for my friend up the road and take a slow walk to school (or this might have been my idea, I forget now Confused) about 10 or 15 mins earlier than friend would have usually left. The first morning I sat quietly in their living room whilst my friend got ready - no problem. The second morning her mum told me to tell my mum that she wasn't a free child minding service. I was mortified Sad

ReadyToSignOff · 13/09/2016 14:00

And yes, you should tell the school.

90daychallenger · 13/09/2016 14:02

Marking place to see what happens tomorrow morning

peaceloveandbiscuits · 13/09/2016 14:03

Hand the child into reception and tell them what has happened. This is really not ok, for anyone, including you!

Topseyt · 13/09/2016 14:11

I don't think I would have had any qualms about saying to him that no, I couldn't be responsible for his child because I didn't even know them. You can have enough on your plate being responsible for your own children on trains and across busy roads.

However, as he has now done it twice he will no doubt do it again when he sees you. So, I would find out the child's name and then take the approach that others have already suggested, dropping the boy off at the school office to flag up with them what is happening.

Tell them how uncomfortable it makes you feel because your two families, to the best of your knowledge, are not acquainted and nor are your children. You feel that this is taking liberties, want it to stop etc. because it is unfair on the child and on you.

Let the school handle the rest of it, but drop an email to the headteacher to ensure it is in writing and IS being dealt with. Schools are well accustomed to dealing with odd situations and awkward parents (I refer to the man at the station there, not you obviously).

SlimCheesy2 · 13/09/2016 14:17

Tell the school. This is a major safeguarding issue- not you, because you seem to be safe and responsible, but this kid's parent is absolutely off his rocker.

Floggingmolly · 13/09/2016 14:18

I'd have taken the child straight to the school office and explained exactly what happened (the first time). Why didn't you??

JellyBelli · 13/09/2016 14:20

What Floggingmolly said and blatant placemarking.

bombayflambe · 13/09/2016 14:27
IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 13/09/2016 14:28

if it happens tomorrow why don't you wait till lunch time to drop them all off. By which time the parents will be contacted. I don't know how illegal this suggestion might be or whether you want child abduction on your criminal record but it might shock them into stopping?