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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was nuts?

190 replies

HollyCarrot · 12/09/2016 22:04

Bringing dc to school this morning, got on train when man and his dc appears at door and asks if we're going to our school. I said we were and he says can you take my dc. Being a people pleasing fool and stunned I said yes and proceeded to take his dc on short train trip and five min walk across very busy roads to school. Am still annoyed this evening, had never spoken to the guy or his kid before, he just handed his child over to a complete and utter stranger!

OP posts:
DonttouchthatLarry · 13/09/2016 14:29

If you lost the child or had an accident on the way you wouldn't even know who to contact or even have details to give to the police.

TippiNoodlegruder · 13/09/2016 14:33

This sort of happened to me too, except I vaguely knew the mother. She had been a friend of my sister when they were teenagers. I spotted her at the school, chatted for a bit and we discovered we lived in the same road. Next morning the daughter who was in year 4 turned up at my door saying "mum said to come and ask you to take me to school cos our car is broken". I obliged, out of shock mainly. Ended up taking her a few more times too. Needless to say they never offered to repay the favour. Not that I would have accepted.

ItsJustNotRight · 13/09/2016 14:37

I once had a woman at a major Lndon station ask me if I'd mind her child in pushchair while she went to the shop because of the limited space inside. I thought times had changed but maybe not hat much.

MinonsMovie · 13/09/2016 14:41

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oldlaundbooth · 13/09/2016 14:43

Why on earth does the OP need an excuse not to take a strangers child to school?! Hmm

Just say NO, OP! Grow a bloody backbone and stop being so nauseatingly polite and British.

What happens if the kid has an accident under your care? It will be your fault!

HannahLily2014 · 13/09/2016 14:43

That's crazy! Have to say I probably would have done the same though op, I would def raise it with the school

LumpyMcBentface · 13/09/2016 14:44

Are you absolutely sure you haven't met him somewhere before and he feels he knows you? I mean it's still cheeky as fuck but less weird if so.

Stopyourhavering · 13/09/2016 14:45

Why did you agree a second time?.....I think school needs to be informed- could be a safeguarding issue

Kenduskeag · 13/09/2016 14:50

Don't make excuses, lying about doctors and whatnot. "What? I'm sorry, no, take your own child to school, what is going on?" is a complete sentence.

And yes to telling the school. He's fobbing the kid off on anyone with a similar school uniform, and the child's mother might be very interested to know what 'Dad' is up to.

RebelRogue · 13/09/2016 14:55

Go into school at pick up and raise the issue. Or if it happens again tomorrow march the kid in the office and tell them all about it.

HermioneWeasley · 13/09/2016 14:58

FFS, tell the school. It's a massive child protection issue

nellypledge16 · 13/09/2016 14:59

What happened at home time yesterday? Did his Dad pick him up and take him on the train?

I'm not sure how I would have reacted if it was me, I'd have probably said yes too purely out of shock!

RepentAtLeisure · 13/09/2016 15:00

If it happens again tomorrow, be prepared.

Write out a note that say something like "Hello train station Dad, I was fine with doing you the favour of taking your child to school by train the last two days, but I'm afraid I can't do it anymore. If there was an emergency en-route I wouldn't know who to contact as you didn't give me a name and number, and I'm not comfortable taking on that responsibility.'

If they are a couple, hopefully the note will be read by the dc's mother first...

Goingtobeawesome · 13/09/2016 15:03

I can understand you being too shocked to say no the first time but not the bit telling the school. Or taking him again.

CalmItKermitt · 13/09/2016 15:06

Cheeky sod!!

oldlaundbooth · 13/09/2016 15:06

YY to the PP who mentioned child protection.

WankingMonkey · 13/09/2016 15:07

This is crazy. Especially 2 days in a row as he doesn't even have the (poor) excuse of an emergency or something Hmm

SlimCheesy2 · 13/09/2016 15:09

There really is no need for excuses or notes etc. Tell the school. They can take it up.

RepentAtLeisure · 13/09/2016 15:18

Does he seem like someone you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of? Because that is a factor. It's easy to say 'talk to the school' etc, but this guy sounds very entitled at the very least. Personally I'd feel safer in a real life situation, with a note. And then I'd probably start taking an earlier train Grin Sad but true...

SlimCheesy2 · 13/09/2016 15:22

I think talking to the school is the first port of call as at the very least the school needs to know there is a safeguarding issue for a child that attends that school. The school will also (presumably) have processes in place to deal with such issues, which the OP will not be aware of and certainly ought not to be responsible for.

Pinkerbeller · 13/09/2016 15:25

He's either spectacularly entitled, massively stupid or engaging in the worst version of doing it wrong so she won't ask me to do it again I've ever heard of.

Poor kid.

RepentAtLeisure · 13/09/2016 15:28

Write out a note that say something like "Hello train station Dad, I was fine with doing you the favour of taking your child to school by train the last two days, but I'm afraid I can't do it anymore. If there was an emergency en-route I wouldn't know who to contact as you didn't give me a name and number, and I'm not comfortable taking on that responsibility.'

By the way, I meant put the note in the kids' bookbag, not mutely hand it over to his father!

Original poster
HollyCarrot · 13/09/2016 15:33

Just off the phone to the head, she thanked me letting her know and said I was right to call. Don't know if they will do anything about it but at least school are aware now. Thanks for all the responses, I prob wouldn't have called without them. Was inexplicably shaking on phone, not good at being a grown-up!

OP posts:
missnevermind · 13/09/2016 15:43

My friend had this only over a shorter distance, she was taking her own 4 children to school and a mother with a child in the same school uniform said to the child go with that lady, she's going to the same school as you.

Then the parent said to my friend I'm going to be late for work I have to go now and got on a bus going in the opposite direction
My friend was so stunned she just stood there and watched her. She took all the children to school on the bus but the strangers child she took directly to the office and told the staff I don't know who this child is but I need to tell you that she has arrived safely And for you to log it for me.
She explained to the office that she knew neither the parent or the child and what had happened and then took her own children into class.

She did see the parent again but the parent avoided her and They have never actually spoken. We do know that the school did deal directly with it and a meeting was called. The child has been brought directly to school by their parents ever since.

purplefox · 13/09/2016 15:48

Blatant placemarking to see if he does it again tomorrow Blush