Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how the fuck anyone with a baby gets anything done?

106 replies

LurkyLurkerMcLurkface · 12/09/2016 14:17

DS is 7.5 months. He is a lovely little boy, I'm on maternity leave so home during the day, we usually get out to a busy babies/rhyme time most days.
My house is a complete tip. I can put him in the jumperoo for all of five minutes before he's crying. I put him down with toys, turn my back to him to do something and he's crying. He naps for just about long enough for me to eat something once a day and he's crying and takes hours to go to back to sleep. I have a mountain of admin and cleaning that I NEED to do, (the admin more than the cleaning). DH works long hours and needs to be carefully instructed in what housework to do, because he's apparently fucking incapable of seeing what needs doing.
I am at the end of my fucking tether.
How do people get shit done?

OP posts:
AuntDotsie · 12/09/2016 15:11

You don't. DS 14mo was a hellish little screamer until about 7 months when he started both eating real food and being more mobile. It's still impossible to get anything real done when he's around, so what we do (not that much, let's face it) gets done when he's napping or in bed for the night.

Or it's a case of bunging him in the baby cage playpen and listening to him whine until I've finished the non-baby-safe activity. I'd rather he was safe and screamy than trampled underfoot, really. Why he so loves standing on my feet when I'm trying to make his lunch, I'll never know!

scallopsrgreat · 12/09/2016 15:16

You get 5 mins in the jumperoo

Seriously though, eldest I could put down for like 20 mins. Youngest, not for A. Single. Second without copious amounts of howling. And he never slept for more than an hour. Ever.

Sling worked to a certain extent but I had to keep moving. All. The. Time.

The only thing that worked was he started to move on his own. Thankfully he did that at 6 months.

You have my sympathies. This too shall pass...

LavenderRains · 12/09/2016 15:17

In my day 20+ years ago it was playpen in front of the TV Blush
DD was a miserable bugger but would quite happily sit for a good 40 mins in front of the telly. Oh and I kept `special' toys in the playpen that could only be played with in thereWink I semi to remember her favourite was a wooden spoon and tupper ware box!

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 12/09/2016 15:17

'Lowering of standards' made me snigger but then realised yep, that is what you do. My DCs are quite a bit older than yours and when I look back at pictures of them at home when they were babies I often find myself looking at the background instead of them, thinking how the f did I live in such a hovel? For years. One picture taken in the dining room, during the day, is actually in darkness because the pile of ironing on the table is blotting out all of the light. It gets better. Not for years though......

toomuchtooold · 12/09/2016 15:17

I had twins but at that age they napped for 3 hours a day, at 9-10, and at 1-3. Sorry. I know they all vary in their sleep needs but half an hour to an hour a day is a fair bit short of the average from what I've read, so if he's having trouble with sleep (you say he's taking ages to go back over) he might not be getting enough sleep - does he sleep in the buggy? If so could you walk him to a cafe and then park him up and do your admin there? Does he normally nap in his cot? If the room's not pitch black that might be a problem - my girls (fairly) happily napped in carricots in the living room till about 4 months and from then on needed to nap in their cots in the dark. (To black out the windows, dampen the window with a cloth and stick on tinfoil.)

Otherwise, have you got a hands free for your phone? I used to do phone stuff while we were out walking with the buggy.

scallopsrgreat · 12/09/2016 15:17

Oh and your 'D'H needs to buck up. I suspect he sees what needs doing at work. Just not on those jobs he perceives to be yours.

Tiggywinkler · 12/09/2016 15:19

DD was a bloody nightmare. Never slept, screamed, sucked constantly. Don't think I washed my hair properly once in 7 months.

DS, on the other hand, naps for 2.5 hours in his cot, self settles, and will remain enraptured for a whole episode of Waybuloo.

Did the same each time - some babies are just difficult little fuckers. If you've got one of those, hire a cleaner, buy Batiste, and stop looking at the dirt. You'll get there.

Oh, and immediately cut off anyone offering helpful advice based on their little cherub and how they are the perfect child. Guaranteed their next one will be the spawn of Satan and you'll see them in Tesco in 18 months buying 6 litres of Gin while their kid throws Babybels at the staff.

LifeInJeneral · 12/09/2016 15:23

OP if you work it out for the love of god let me know. My DS is also 7.5 months and house is also a hovel. I'm a single mother and my landlord is selling so I'm moving house at the end of this month...I have not even started packing. I have no idea how I'm going to get the house packed up by myself in time...

Fluffsnuts · 12/09/2016 15:24

A sling and wooden spoons - he won't play with toys for more than 5 minutes, but on the kitchen floor with a couple of wooden spoons and I'll get about 40mins to clean and tidy.

doleritedinosaur · 12/09/2016 15:27

CBeebies, nap time/ utilising every free minute of baby free time.

I'm quite lucky in that if OH works in the day he doesn't need to leave before 10:30 so I set things to do each day within half hour time periods.

When DS eats lunch I try to quickly wash up & clean the kitchen.
When he baths, I clean the bathroom.

I'm trying to get all washing up done every evening & steam clean kitchen floors to make it easier but so tired.

You do just learn to do it fast, OH is impressed at how fast I Hoover the entire house.

Try to get into a routine, especially weekly & that morning/afternoon you will just get used to cleaning at that time & fast.

minipie · 12/09/2016 15:29

I knew some people would recommend a sling

DD was Not Impressed with the sling, unless I took her out for a walk in it. Too boring.

TV was boring too until she was 18 months (at which point it was MAGICAL and I could finally get shit done).

I could have let her just scream, yes, but since I could get by leaving everything till the weekend or after she was in bed for the evening, I didn't feel justified in leaving her to scream in order to do folding.

maamalady · 12/09/2016 15:35

Both mine wouldn't nap except in arms or the car. It is irritating, but thankfully both also would be quite happy playing alone for a little while. Bouncy chair, dummy, a few toys, and DD2 (5 months) will cheerfully watch me make dinner or her sister playing. Sometimes nothing is good enough though, and she MUST be held - my sympathies for those of you who have babies who are like that the whole time they're awake.

DD1 did eventually crack it though, and now aged two she naps well and sleeps in her cot all night most nights. I am hoping DD2 follows her pattern...

RainyDayBear · 12/09/2016 15:35

Baby TV - channel 623 on Sky I believe. It was revolutionary in our household. Pre baby me would judge me massively, post baby me embraces a 'whatever gets you through the day' philosophy!!

maamalady · 12/09/2016 15:38

Sometimes housework is entertaining, mind you. DD2 enjoys watching me hoover or mow the lawn - clearly loud noises are her bag Grin

MuddlingMackem · 12/09/2016 15:55

Babies who scream for everything are so draining. DC2 was horrendous, until we discovered in her case some of the screaming was because she was tired and she just had to be left alone to wind down. Unfortunately we didn't discover this until she was seven months old, so LurkyLurkerMcLurkface I'd definitely recommend putting your DS down in his cot at bedtime or nap time and leaving him for half an hour or so to see if he settles himself. If it doesn't work at least you'll have had half an hour to get some stuff done and if it does you might actually get him to nap for an hour or so.

NapQueen · 12/09/2016 15:59

One short nap a day at 7mo is too little sleep. If he gets more sleep in the day he will be happier during the wake time and probably play or entertain the Jumperoo more.

What time does he wake?

At that age both of mine were awake 6.30/7, and they'd go down for 45mins at 9am. We would then go out after for a few hours, home for lunch and back down for another sleep at 12.30 which was usually about 1-1.5hr but lengthened as they dropped the am nap. Another 45 mins at about 4pm should then see him nicely through to a 7/7.30 bedtime.

Beth2511 · 12/09/2016 16:01

Dd is 21 months and i still have no idea. Expecting ds very very soon so have kept dd in childmidners twice a week or i will be living in a more disgusting tip than present

Candlefairy101 · 12/09/2016 16:21

I feel for you OP, I have a 6 year old, 2 year old and 6 month old. I've had them all at home for the last 2 months due to half term, so my advice would be...

  1. get bubba sleeping more, I know I know it's really hard when they are such little fighters but bubs (hopefully!!) will be more content being left or just watching while awake. With my baby and toddler I put them in there cots after lunch or baby mid morning before the screaming tiredness starts. If they don't sleep it's up to them but that hour break is what everyone needs. I have always put a few toys in when they go down and they seem to send them selves off. I'm not one to do controlled crying so if they are having a fit in their I will get them out give them something to eat which usually makes them sleepy them put them back down.

  2. write a huge list of EVERYTHING that needs doing as it will be playing on your mind over and over again. Then sit down with husband and assign each other to the different jobs.

  3. start yourself a routs just for tomorrow because everyday is different for me in never be able to stick to a weekly routs Blush

It's very easy for you and bubs to get stuck in an awful rut with tiredness and pressure of things to get done and you both end up sourcing day to day with no enjoyment.

Little one might be confused at first with the new routine but give it a few days and he'll soon start to enjoy knowing what is coming next

I hope I'm not coming off as smug OP buoy should of seen me two weeks ago I looked like worsel gummage I was so disheveled Smile this new routine is only because the older one has gone back to school and toddler has started 2 hours at preschool xx

HyacinthFuckit · 12/09/2016 16:31

You have a DH who isn't completely useless, a baby with a Jumparoo addiction and parents who'll take over for an hour now and then so you can get some shit done. Otherwise, I have no fucking idea.

MessyBun247 · 12/09/2016 16:32

My DD2 is 7.5months and my house is mostly a shit heap Smile.

Cant put her down for more than a couple of minutes without her screaming. So im just going with the flow, lowering my standards and carrying her a LOT.

Plenty of time for housework when shes older.

KarmaNoMore · 12/09/2016 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kr1stina · 12/09/2016 16:40

You don't have a baby problem, you have a DH problem .

The baby will grow up, the husband will only get worse . Tackle this now.

What's going to happen when you go back to work ? Do you think he'll magically revert to doing 50% of housework and childcare ?

KnitFastDieWarm · 12/09/2016 16:40

low standards, a cleaner once a fortnight, and a husband who pulls his weight as an adult in a partnership Hmm WHY is it still so socially acceptable for male partners to behave like lazy extra children? it's an insult to all the men who act like adults and take their responsibilities seriously.

blueturtle6 · 12/09/2016 16:43

Dyson cordless vacuum that never gets put away, bathroom cleaned with wet wipes whilst watching dd in the bath (and singing). Now I am luckier that she sleep two hours in day so i get some jobs done then. But she also.sleeps all.night so I'm not completely knackered

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 12/09/2016 16:44

I feel your pain. DS is 13 now but his first year was hellish. Could hardly put him down. I was bloody cooking over a hot stove with him in a sling! Nightmare.

It does get easier but in the meantime give yourself a break from self nagging about not getting stuff done. It's just impossible to.do.