thinking I should have been seated next to my three-year-old on this flight?

[nappyrat]

Cheap (orange) airline. Normally v good when travelling with kids - speedy boarding, say they'll sit you with kid/s etc.

Flew out recently & they said a 'technical error' had mistakenly sat me in a different row(!!) to my 3 year old. They fixed it on board (after much grumbling by several passengers about not moving from seats they've paid extra to book to sit together (fair enough!)). But fixed, fairly stress free.

Return flight today, I was sat across the aisle from DS. Their handling agent told me that this is considered 'sat together'?! Erm...really?! Anyway, handling agent refused to seat us together. Cue quite a bit of 'discussing' with them why this was not on IMO. No budging. Decided to leave it & ask the flight crew when we boarded. Who eventually sorted it - v kind older couple agreed to move seats.

Before I let loose with said orange airline's customer services, AIBU to think that sorting across the aisle from a 3 yr old is not appropriate?! DS was wailing, I had to bend across aisle to comfort, there were good chunks of time during boarding when I couldn't see DS because ppl stood in between us in aisle. Just bloody stressful quite frankly. And not what I'd expect from this - or to be bloody honest - any - airline.

Opinions please mumsnet!

I'm with Nicki here, I wouldn't pay a budget airline to choose seats but I will ensure that I check in as soon as I am allowed too, I have never been separated from the kids. If I were to be separated then they are now old enough 7 and 9 to sit on their own with me nearby. I wouldn't ask anyone to move from me as I know that some people like to pay for their seats. They are very good flyers and would not disturb anyone, they very well know that kicking the seat in front is a massive no no

I don't think it's a big deal sitting on each side of the aisle either, you are on touching distance.

I personally wouldn't expect to be guaranteed a seat right next to my child on a budget flight without paying for it.

I don't think that because the aisle is narrow it's just like sitting next to your child though. I was sat across the aisle from DH on a recent 4 hour flight. We were towards the back of the plane, and if there wasn't a snack trolley between us there was a constant line of people going to the toilet. I think the only time I could really talk to him was when there was a bit of turbulence and they turned the seat belt sign on. It would have been a nightmare if that had been me and my 2 year old DD.

We are going on holiday in February and have booked seats for this exact reason, the 3 of us didn't want to be separated (not that they would have separated a 2 year old from his parents but want to be sure. If people have paid extra then they can refuse point blank to move, you were in the wrong here, you should have booked seats if you weren't prepared to sit separately.

In August I booked a last minute flights to Turkey flying with Monarch - we paid extra so that we sat together three of us on one side the other on the other side aisle seat. All fine on the way there, however on the way back we were asked if my husband (the single aisle seat) could move to an emergency seat (someone else had been asked to give up!) so that a husband could join his wife with the two children - we said fine, but frankly I was really pissed off! I had bit the bullet and paid extra only to feel like we had no choice but to give one of these to someone else. I don't like flying and it was an overnight flight, which was why I sucked up the additional cost!!
I assumed that the family had not bothered to pay the additional cost - which may well be the case but I found out this week when booking flights through a tour operator that if flights for Monarch are not booked direct then you can't check in on-line and therefore select your seats. So this may be the reason the family could not entirely sit together!
Airlines should make sure in my opinion that either they allow families to sit together or they insist they pay to do so! Kicking paying customers out of their seats is not on!!!
With regards the aisle in-between I can see why the airline sees it this way but that doesn't help if your child is distressed!

After reading other experiences with the Orange airline and not putting kids with parents we just booked seats when we booked the tickets.

'On the way back we were asked if my husband (the single aisle seat) could move to an emergency seat (someone else had been asked to give up!) so that a husband could join his wife with the two children - we said fine, but frankly I was really pissed off! I had bit the bullet and paid extra only to feel like we had no choice but to give one of these to someone else. I don't like flying and it was an overnight flight, which was why I sucked up the additional cost!!'

Then why'd you do it? The family's problem is just that - their circus and their monkeys. 'No, I wish to sit in the seat I paid extra to book so I could sit next to my (wife, whoever)/sit in the aisle seat/window seat/what have you. You just politely tell them no. 'No, thanks, I wish to sit in my ticketed seat as I paid extra to book this.'

I think it is very wrong that you should have to pay extra just to guarantee a seat next to your child.
Equally, it is very wrong of you to expect people who have reserved their seats and paid extra for the privilege, to give them up to enable you to sit next to your child. Did you reimburse them?
No, I thought not.

I haven't flown with my boys, but mumsnet has taught me something! So if I take the cheap option and just pay for tickets some other poor sucker has to put up with #2 son's frankly annoying wriggling about and noise-making and I can sit somewhere else and quietly read my book and this is entirely what people expect to happen? Wish I'd known this ages ago.

I have recently booked seats (for free)on two flights in mid Nov for DD2 (aged 26) and me. One of each pair is a window seat .Neither pair is near a wing (and the second set is just two seats together) . Both flights are in excess of 8 hours .I would be very annoyed if asked to swap, even though I haven't paid to reserve them;if I had paid I'd ask for the money to be refunded . (When I did it very few seats had been reserved)I'm a nervous flier and DD is still excited by flying and likes to look out of the window as we 'come in' ,as indeed do I though I have travelled a great deal . Its amazing to see iconic buildings from the air
I'm hoping I can soon reserve seats for the return journeys .
However I have never forgotten the kindness of a charming French man who swapped seats to let a daughter sit near a window . He said it was a bit like taking a bus for him as he did the journey (Paris) all the time and he quite liked the aisle seat -we were all four in a row with on person across the aisle . We have frequently been allocated two and two seats when the DCs were younger .

It costs as little as £2.99 to select seats. It would have cost you an additional £5.98 for that flight to select them.

I just dont get people who wont do it and then complain.

I do genuinely worry about safeguarding when kids are sitting away from their guardians. I don't mean oxygen, I mean pervs, porn on phones, violent films etc.

Like someone posting above I had to move to a (prebooked!) row of 3 kids (mine, i was sitting behind them with DP) so they would be with an adult. This suggests nearby adults are expected to look after the separated kids, and yet so many here saying they'd rather let them scream. Hmm.

To be honest if your are flying with a budget airline I would have NO expectations other than to take off and land safely. They are cheap, as a result they charge for everything and they are rubbish. I don't think being across the aisle on an Easyjet (which lets face it is about a foot wide) is an issue. If mine were upset or distressed when the seat belts were off I would sit them on my knee.

But then, like other posters have said, I would probably factor in an extra £20 into the trip for seats together..

Well I am with you on this one NappyRat. I regularly fly with the orange company with my 2 children and I never pay for the seats as they state that they will sit small children with an accompanying adult. I have never read that it could mean in front or across the aisle... :( I don't question this is true but it must be in the small prints. Also I object to these exttras they keep putting on to increase the fares one way or the other - not so long ago this company was functioning well without seat allocation.. But that's another story! ;o)

Expat - I was in your situation (me and 2 children one side, husband across aisle) with the difference that I hadn't paid for the seats and hubby was asked to move - I politely said no as we're together with children. Easy done! They would have assumed he was on his own!
I travel a lot with the kids and never pay for the seats. I'll check in as early as I can and never had any issue. We've always been seated together.
I personally don't see why I'd have to pay extra for seats just to be with the children. I'd pay extra if I cared to be next to husband (I don't) or wanted extra leg room or near the exit or whatever but not just to be near my young children. It should be factored in. It is not convenience it's necessity.

WithTwoGiantBoys
Nice try, but I'm afraid that's not how it works. You're still responsible for your dc, regardless of how far apart you're sat.
Rest assured I won't be the 'poor sucker' that has to put up with your badly behaved child because you're too tight to pay to sit next to him. The minute he kicks off, I'll be getting the cabin crew to fetch you, his parent, to come and deal with him. I won't be engaging with him, comforting him, helping him with meals, taking him to the toilet - so he can wriggle and make as much noise as he wants, it's still your job, not mine to deal with him. I've said it before on this thread, but after years of looking after (and paying to sit next to) my own children, do you seriously think I'm going to look after yours now that I'm child-free? Dream on.
I'm a nervous flyer, so after a couple of diazepam and some wine I'll be snuggled up with my back to your ds anyway. He can make us much noise as he likes, but I'll be pretty much oblivious. So don't pay if you want to take that risk, but don't assume that I'm going to look after your ds if he ends up next to me. I'm not.

if nobody paid the 'extra' then this nonsense wouldn't happen and you'd ALL save yourself the extra cash. MN's are CRAZY about this stuff, i know nobody in real life who'd begrudge a 3 yo a seat by their parent and nobody in real life who'd want an 'unattended' 3 yo belonging to someone else sat by them.

As I and many others have said, it's not that we 'begrudge' the seat. It's that we have our own reasons for wanting to stay there. Nervous flyers, hidden disabilities, own children...

I pay because I want to guarantee I will sit next to my husband. I will not move once I am in that plane seat.

Well, I do agree sometimes thinks are a big deal on here and not in real life.

But I think most people would be aggrieved to pay for something that is then handed to someone else.

I think I'm in the minority here but...

I get that you can pre book seats but I, like the OP would never have though that a very young child would have to sit away from their parent. Would they do this if the child had special needs?!

If the child gets distressed, who would comfort the child? I think it's really wrong that parents aren't automatically placed with parents.

*children I mean

Again, the airlines class across the aisle/seat behind child as being 'together'. I guess so long as you can both see and physically touch the child, you are 'together'. They were seated 'together' (the airline admitted the outward journey seating was a mistake, and on the way back they were across the aisle from each other)

if nobody paid the 'extra' then this nonsense wouldn't happen and you'd ALL save yourself the extra cash

Don't be daft. Airlines are big business. If no one paid the 'extra' then ALL flights would go up. They'd have to.

Just blether with my BH you states children of that age flying through him would be per booked on adjust seats and not with isle seat. Plus no extra either, but it's down to the airline and handlers. Fly with loganair they look after families

Nobody's forcing anyone to pay the 'extra', hodd
If people don't like it, don't book with a no frills airline. They're not going to change their policy because a few tight wads think they can override the system by stamping their feet when they don't get their own way.
It's fine to risk not paying, but when you delay the flight, demanding that people who have paid move to accommodate you, accept the fact that the rest of the passengers/cabin crew/pilot will eventually lose patience with you.
And if you choose to risk not paying, accept that you are still the adult responsible for your dc, not the one who ends up sitting next to them. So if you're happy to risk your dc being sat next to me, a nervous flyer, oblivious to the world on diazepam, or in the midst of the group of lads who started drinking at the airport and are carrying on during the flight, that's fine. Just don't whine that you want to move when you get on the plane.

I don't think you're be unreasonable at all. It's ridiculous that they seated you away from your 3year old.