thinking I should have been seated next to my three-year-old on this flight?

[nappyrat]

Cheap (orange) airline. Normally v good when travelling with kids - speedy boarding, say they'll sit you with kid/s etc.

Flew out recently & they said a 'technical error' had mistakenly sat me in a different row(!!) to my 3 year old. They fixed it on board (after much grumbling by several passengers about not moving from seats they've paid extra to book to sit together (fair enough!)). But fixed, fairly stress free.

Return flight today, I was sat across the aisle from DS. Their handling agent told me that this is considered 'sat together'?! Erm...really?! Anyway, handling agent refused to seat us together. Cue quite a bit of 'discussing' with them why this was not on IMO. No budging. Decided to leave it & ask the flight crew when we boarded. Who eventually sorted it - v kind older couple agreed to move seats.

Before I let loose with said orange airline's customer services, AIBU to think that sorting across the aisle from a 3 yr old is not appropriate?! DS was wailing, I had to bend across aisle to comfort, there were good chunks of time during boarding when I couldn't see DS because ppl stood in between us in aisle. Just bloody stressful quite frankly. And not what I'd expect from this - or to be bloody honest - any - airline.

Opinions please mumsnet!

Nicki - to confirm I don't wait until check in. I book my flights and choose seats at that point?

Oh I certainly wasn't trying to persuade you to do it my way. I just couldn't see the truth in the constant "pay like everyone else has to" posts so queried it.

I may yet be proved entirely wrong in the future, who knows?

Well I tend to fly a certain airline. The truth is either pay and get a plan of the aircraft and pick your seats or accept you will get a seat when you check in but it will be what's left

What Buggers said.
I've been on a flight that missed its take off slot due to a family who hadn't pre booked but who kicked off big style because those of us who'd paid to do so wouldn't move to accommodate them. In the end, the amazingly patient cabin crew told them that they'd got seats, either sit in them or be offloaded from the plane, the pilot wasn't prepared to delay the take off any further. The cabin crew got a round of applause for that one.

I fly a lot and just last week I swopped my window seat for a middle row because I had a 3 year old sat next to me and her mum was in the row behind. I offered as I would rather sit in the middle than supervise someone else's child. Both mum and the cabin crew were really grateful. But I had a much worse flight to the US the week before where I was sat next to a lovely 6 year old and her sister and her mum had decided to sit with her DH in another row and leave me sat with her DC.
Not only was her daughter nervous, she managed to spill her drink and I had to clean her up. The cabin crew were not impressed.
So whilst I am sure that your DC are lovely please book your seats next to them in advance as after a long week away I really don't want to look after them for you on my way home

'On both flights I've had someone sitting in our booked, paid for seats, one couple insisted they sit together as the woman was terrified of flying, one family wanted to sit next to their teenage daughter, both families obviously hadn't pre-booked!

It really winds me up that certain people feel entitled, if you want a guarantee, pay up! I'd certainly pay extra to make sure I was sitting next to my child.'

See, this doesn't wind me up at all because I don't let such people. I just call the crew over. 'Someone is sitting in my seat.' 'Do you mind moving?' 'Yes, I do. Very much.'

Have you ever noticed, these fuckwits never want to swap for a middle seat in the middle row, etc. Nope, they always want a choice aisle or window seat. Ain't getting it from me. Don't give a fuck what their reasons are, either.

I'd feel bad not helping out if I could, regardless of what I'd paid. Does that really seem so unlikely?

myownperson it does sound very altruistic. I think I'm a pretty decent person, I unhesitatingly offer a seat on the bus to anyone who might need it. But I don't pay for a taxi and then offer it to someone else in the bus queue instead - however frazzled they look.

I suppose everyone is lucky that there are people who will do this but it doesn't surprise me that this behaviour is rare. Altruism isn't a survival trait.

Most flights I book if you check in exactly 24 hours before you can move your seat around (but that might not be this airline). I never pay extra for a seat although I've had my children ask the checkin ladies years ago at the air port when being allocated seats to be seated away from the rest of the family (the joy of teenage years......)

I don't think it's normal to split a parent and 3 year old across an aisle. I have sometimes swapped my own seat to help families now I have older children but I would never have paid extra for my seat. I always book an aisle seat when I can so I can get up and down to the loo and spread my legs into the aisle so I am not never very happy to lose that.

I have no desire to read that kinda language

You are aware this is Mumsnet aren't you? You can say cunt on here.

Anyway, I'm always surprised at the people who don't get that budget flights are full price flights with bits taken off.

Imagine a shop that sells burgers with onions, lettuce, cheese and ketchup for £8. Then they decide to sell the plain burger in a bun for £4 but charge £1 for each extra. If all you want is a plain burger in a bun then happy days, you get the cheap headline rate. However once you add on all the extras it's the cost of the original.
Funnily enough people get pissed off when they have paid for cheese and then other people who didn't pay for it start complaining because they don't have any.

Funnily enough people get pissed off when they have paid for cheese and then other people who didn't pay for it start complaining because they don't have any

It's not just that they're complaining that they don't have cheese. They haven't paid for cheese and then want some stranger who has paid for cheese, to give them their cheese because they think they have a better reason than the stranger why they should have cheese.

she managed to spill her drink and I had to clean her up
No you didn't. I'd have alerted the cabin crew to go and fetch the parents to clean her up. Being too tight to pay to sit next to your dc doesn't absolve you from being responsible for them.
I've said it before, but if your child ends up sat next to me because it's not important enough that you to pay to sit next to them, I will not be looking after them, that's your job. So if they're upset because they're not next to you, need help with food and drink, assistance going to the toilet, or are just generally bored and need entertaining, that's still your job, however many rows back you are. I'll be snuggled up, sleepy from diazepam and wine completely oblivious to your dc.

I've done years of looking after (and paying to sit with) my own children on flights, so if you think I'm going to entertain yours now I'm child free, you can think again
I have very valid reasons for needing to sit by dh and I pay to make sure that happens. If you choose to take the risk and not pay, that's fine, but the person who ends up sitting next to your dc is in no way responsible for them.

Serious question - if we work on the assumption that parents with young children need to be sat near each other so the adult can assist the children and get to do so without booking, what about someone who is a carer for an adult with additional needs? They need to sit near each other just as much as a child does to a parent, do they have to pay?

We've travelled on many flights with 'low budget' airlines of the orange and blue/yellow variety.

And we have never reserved/paid for seats to be sat with our toddler- we have always just done online check-in and ended up being all sat together ie in a row of 3 seats

Starting to think we've just got lucky?

On the next one our 2 year old will be sat behind us.

Honestly, I don't think the OP is BU...this has never happened to us and we've never paid for specific seats.

Have I just got the proverbial wrong end of the stick here?

Turquoise Dress Yes you just got lucky. I think families probably do get lucky fairly often as airlines do try to seat families together where they can. But it is still luck - if, after pre-booked seats have been sold, all that is left are individual seats scattered across the plane, then that's what everyone else - including families will be given.

If people want to take that risk and avoid paying then fair game to them. As long as they realise the risk might not pay off, and don't then expect other people to give up their pre-booked, paid-for seats.

I pay the extra to book the seats - makes the whole thing less stressful for all. I only ever fly for pleasure, not business, and the less stress the better! I figure that if the flights had cost that much extra in the first place, I'd probably still have booked them.

TurquoiseDress we have always just done online check-in and ended up being all sat together ie in a row of 3 seats .... On the next one our 2 year old will be sat behind us.

In cases like this, surely either you or your partner takes the seat in the row behind, and the toddler sits in one of the pair with the other parent?

There does seem to be a widespread notion (not you specifically Turquoise, just on threads like this) that each person in the group travelling must sit in the seats as per their individual boarding passes with no deviation.

e.g. if
Mum's Boarding Pass has seat 27J
Dad's BP has 27K
Child's BP has 3B

...It's fine for for the kid to swap seats with a parent.

You are aware this is Mumsnet aren't you? You can say cunt on here

But you can't say "they" in certain contexts (misses point of thread entirely)

The rules need to change so that families are allocated seats together. BA does this anyway if the oldest child is 11 or under. And their flights tend not to cost any more than the so-called cheap airlines once you've added all the extras. That said, they wanted £22 a head one way to choose seats on my last flight now that my son is 13. I didn't bother. We ended up with seats in the same row anyway. On the way out I was able to choose seats for free 48 hours before, but on the way back only at check-in, so 24 hours later. Very strange.

Desolate - With BA and EJ and I suspect the others as well, the carer wouldn't have to pay to sit next to the person they are caring for. Although I suppose next to could include across the aisle.
Sometimes the actual choice seats available can be limited though.If the disabled person uses a specialist harness or seat, there are only 2 seats in the plane that they can sit in ( having looked at EJs website).

Serious question - if we work on the assumption that parents with young children need to be sat near each other so the adult can assist the children and get to do so without booking, what about someone who is a carer for an adult with additional needs? They need to sit near each other just as much as a child does to a parent, do they have to pay

They shouldn't do because of the Equality Act. Airlines should make reasonable adjustments for disability and allowing someone to have a free reservation so they know they and their carer can sit together is very reasonable. But airlines are well-known for ignoring the Equality Act when it suits them.

It is not a free reservation as such because the airline appears to allocate the seats themselves, allowing for any impact of the disability.

"Anyway, I'm always surprised at the people who don't get that budget flights are full price flights with bits taken off."

But it's not just budget airlines - BA do it too and I wouldn't call them a budget airline!

Shotsfired - I'll state my case again - I was travelling solo with my 2 sons, one aged 8 and one aged 3. I was seated in the row behind them by BA, 5 days prior to departure. Yes, I could have swapped with my 8yo, leaving him on his own in the row behind - but he's not really old enough to do that to him just yet. Another couple of years maybe - but not yet. Of course I couldn't dump the 3yo out on his own; and they had placed the boys in a row where the aisle seat was already taken by another passenger, so I couldn't just pay to move myself, I had to pay to move all of us to a separate row OR run the risk of doing 24h check in and STILL not getting us a row together. So I paid - and because it's a 24h longhaul flight on a non-budget airline, it was AU$71 per person to move - roughly equivalent to £36 each. Doesn't sound like much, does it - except we'd already paid over £2k for 3 flights, so another £108-ish was a wee bit annoying.
And it's not as if the rest of the plane was already booked - it wasn't. It was purely a profiteering exercise, IMO.

myfavouritecolour I don't think you get the point of these 'no frills' airlines. If anyone wants all the extras they should just go straight to the likes of BA. But if you want the cheapest flights then you usually won't get the same level of service that BA typically offers.

ShotsFired

My comment about our 2 year old being sat behind us on the next flight was meant to be an ironic comment i.e. after all this time of getting lucky!

We have no future flights coming up

The thing I don't get about of all of this is, surely when you do the online check-in you'll be able to see which seats you have been allocated, so there should be no surprise when you get on the flight to find you child right at the back, you in the middle and partner in a front row.

Surely it would be flagged up before?

When we've done online check-in with easyjet or ryanair, every time we can see straight away which seat numbers/row we have been allocated.

We have always been together and not paid the extra cost.

I imagine that if we hadn't been allocated together, we would've looked into paying the extra to allow this...rather than just wait till we got on the flight and start asking randoms to move seats to allow us all to sit together.

Same here turquoise.