AIBU to tell friend of 35 years to sod off?

[mammyannie]

Bit of history to start. Met my friend, I'll call her 'Cora', at pre-school nursery. Went through the whole education system with her, then she moved away, got married, divorced, no DC. I stayed local, had DS, became single parent, began new career ten years ago and am reasonably successful. Cora moved back to her parent's two years ago and found part-time work. We had kept in touch sporadically while she was away, mainly on Facebook, occasional phone calls. Now she is back and won't leave me alone! Constant messages on social media, always just happens to be passing my house as I get home from work, sees that I'm online and phones the landline to chat...for hours! All of this I could handle if she hadn't now turned into the food police. For example, tough day at work so I posted a pic of a large glass of wine and bar of chocolate. Get a private message asking if I intend to eat all of the chocolate and drink all of the wine? Yes I bloody well did! Went on a short break and had messages everyday asking what I'd eaten and drunk. The day I came home she was on the phone to ask if I was having a take-away that night! Oh, and just so you know, I don't have a weight problem or eating disorder... DS reckons I should tell her to sod off (he's a teenager and has no patience with Irritating people), but I don't know if I'm just being over-sensitive. Help me mums-netters...what would you do?

I agree with Lunde, either an actual eating disorder or major 'issues' surrounding food and/or alcohol.

Up to you whether you want to taper off contact until there is none, continue 'as is' with NO more dining together, or if you want to confront the issue head on if she continues to comment about your eating/drinking habits ("Cora, I notice that you seem to be preoccupied with what I eat and/or drink. If we want to continue to be friends, that will have to stop").

I think an important thing to remember is that there is no law that says you have to answer your phone or your door. A simple "Oh, was that you? I was busy/reading/surfing the net so I didn't answer. I don't always answer the phone/door if I don't want to, you know" should suffice.

I think she she sounds like a miserable bitter failure who enjoys dragging other people down to her level and trying to make them feel inadequate to make herself feel better.

I doubt she has an eating disorder, but I suspect she has created a virtue out of her healthy diet and actively enjoys criticising other people's because it makes her feel superior when she knows that in terms of other areas her achievements are very much lacking. I'd distance myself from her.

Sorry X post. She sounds like a pain in the arse!

Thank you all for your replies....I don't feel so bad now. I think it is a case of having grown apart over the years and we really don't have anything in common. Time to gradually loosen the ties. I think there's something on Facebook where you can put people in bugger off 'restricted' groups so they don't see everything. Might start with that. If anyone needs help with their calorie or alcohol intake I have her number

If it was me I'd be saying I had some lettuce and a carrot stick. What are you having for dinner? What did you eat for lunch and breakfast? Did you have milk in your coffee? I hope it wasn't full milk that would be fatty. Start asking her what she has eaten. Unless she is a total thicknothing, surely she would get the hint.

Oops I meant thicko. Stupid autocorrect.