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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to dump someone for lying about their age (OLD)

76 replies

Tornandfrayed · 10/09/2016 11:10

Met someone really nice online, profile says he is 50 (I'm 41).
Found out that he is 56 not 50, he didn't tell me this I looked online.
Was really looking to meet someone around the same age as me but I figured 9 years is not that much.
When I discovered this I got a sinking feeling ( been burnt before by liars) and it's kind of ruined things.
Because...

  1. If he'd lied easily about that what else will he lie about??
  2. We are at different life stages, I will need to increase my hours as my dc's get older, he is probably winding his hours down.

Best to bail out now??

OP posts:
MooPointCowsOpinion · 10/09/2016 11:11

Yeah bail out now, YANBU.

peppercold · 10/09/2016 11:11

I would. Better luck next time. Flowers

Rosae · 10/09/2016 11:13

I would agree, it's not a great sign. However is it possible that he's been burned by being passed over as 'too old' to date and that is why? I think I would mention it to him and base my decision on his response.

StrattersHasACunningPlan · 10/09/2016 11:15

Absolutely bail. I had one tell me he was 53 and he was SIXTY THREE. What's more he simply couldn't understand my froideur. Stupid fucker.

Dexterjamesmummy · 10/09/2016 11:21

My sister encountered this with an older man, his reason behind it was that it put him into an age bracket that only attracted women of an age he wasn't interested in which actually made sense to me. He was upfront about it though and it was just for his online profile.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 10/09/2016 11:50

Have you actually met him yet? If when you meet him, he volunteers the information, might be worth considering.

Whilst my dp didn't lie on his profile, there were a couple of things that might have put women off that he hadn't mentioned online. He did however volunteer the information on our third date - as it happens none were things that bothered me though.

Dailymailisacrapnewspaper · 10/09/2016 11:53

My sister encountered this with an older man, his reason behind it was that it put him into an age bracket that only attracted women of an age he wasn't interested in which actually made sense to me.

Yes because middle aged men are such a catch that they deserve younger women whereas women their own age are just so unattractive and past it Hmm

ComputerUserNotTrained · 10/09/2016 11:55

God that made no sense Blush

If he volunteers the information and it seems like the relationship might be a goer, I'd consider turning a blind eye to one inaccuracy.

Some 56 year old men are pretty fit, others not so. A bit like 36 year old men tbh.

talesofthevillage · 10/09/2016 12:00

No, people who lie about these things lie about other stuff.

Lying is a dealbreaker for me now. Even fibs. Just be honest ffs.
Sorry, I'm a bit bitter.

DorindaJ · 10/09/2016 12:01

I had this on OLD, he lied about his age, it was the tip of the iceburg. It didn't end well. I hate him to this day.

Tornandfrayed · 10/09/2016 12:06

That's what I'm thinking - tip of the iceberg!
I have met him and he's a young 56 and fanciable but that's not really the point!
And no he didn't mention his age on the date.

OP posts:
Floisme · 10/09/2016 12:08

You've missed out reason number 3) It sounds as if he doesn't think women his own age are good enough for him. How very attractive.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 10/09/2016 12:10

Unless he's mega wealthy, I don't see why 56 indicates he'd be winding down his hours, not in this financial climate.

I can see why age would be an issue, but I don't see much in it between 50 and 56, tbh.

Can you change your dating profile to say no 45 +? That should screen out all but the most shame faced fibbers, hopefully.

2rebecca · 10/09/2016 12:15

I would dump him. I'm in my mid 50s and think most women my age who are physically fit look better than many men. I still don't go looking for younger blokes though and think the desire for much younger women by many men is creepy, deluded and a sign they don't want an equal relationship. I've always preferred men of my own age

PigletJohn · 10/09/2016 12:16

Are there people who tell the truth on OLD?

ComputerUserNotTrained · 10/09/2016 12:21

I did, and so did dp!

There were a couple of minor omissions, but nobody's going to write "I enjoy country walks, dining out, and I snore like a fucking ogre."

Tornandfrayed · 10/09/2016 12:25

His ex wife was quite a bit younger than him as well so obviously prefers younger women Hmm It is kind of deluded! I can't imagine only wanting to date much younger men, I'd much rather an equal!

I do Piglet well ok I don't list all of my faults but at least what I've written is true!

OP posts:
ComputerUserNotTrained · 10/09/2016 12:29

I inadvertently added an inch to my height actually Blush

Floisme · 10/09/2016 12:32

Hmm younger ex wife, now seeking younger new partner .... If you did get together, I wonder what would happen once you got older?

Squeegle · 10/09/2016 12:34

I don't think it's the end of the world actually. I would lie about my age, I am 50 and I would say I was 49, because like some PPs said it takes you out of lots of boxes. And I don't lie about other stuff - honest.

Tornandfrayed · 10/09/2016 12:35

He'd die and leave me all his money? Grin

OP posts:
pictish · 10/09/2016 12:36

I would ditch for lying about that.

HanYOLO · 10/09/2016 12:38

Call him on it and ask why?

I think his answer would tell me whether to dump or give it a whirl

aurynne · 10/09/2016 12:38

A relationship that starts already with a lie is not looking very promising.

What else is he going to lie about just to get you to do what he wants?

YANBU

RitchyBestingFace · 10/09/2016 12:40

You can dump someone for any reason. Relationships are not (yet) subject to the Equalities Act.

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