WIBU to dump someone for lying about their age (OLD)

[Tornandfrayed]

Met someone really nice online, profile says he is 50 (I'm 41).
Found out that he is 56 not 50, he didn't tell me this I looked online.
Was really looking to meet someone around the same age as me but I figured 9 years is not that much.
When I discovered this I got a sinking feeling ( been burnt before by liars) and it's kind of ruined things.
Because...

1. If he'd lied easily about that what else will he lie about??
2. We are at different life stages, I will need to increase my hours as my dc's get older, he is probably winding his hours down.

Best to bail out now??

This is true, Ritchy.

If he was blow your socks off amazing, you'd not be so bothered (which isn't to say you shouldn't be bothered - on reflection taking 6 years off your age is a pretty big lie).

Sack the bugger.

It's not fun dating a liar. You end up in situations where they're not living where they say they are, or they have a flatmate they have intentionally not told you about, or another woman. (Bitter voice of experience speaking.)

For me it's the lie from the offset. Straight away he's told a needless lie that pulls the wool for for his own gain. Nope!

I would ditch him and not look back!

It's a shame people feel the need to lie about their age. But I suppose if age wasn't an issue for people, then fewer people would feel the need to do it. In a way it is a response to ageism.

The gap is fine, but the lying isn't.

It really put me off blokes when they specified much younger women. Not that they'd have wanted me at 40+, but I certainly didn't want them. What on earth does a man want with a woman who will quite likely want to start a family soonish, when they've already been there, done that and got the CSA involvement to prove it?

I got gazillions of approaches from much, much younger men who were clearly after MILFs, mind

What makes you think he's 56 and not 66?

I would ditch but I can see why people do this sometimes from personal experience.

I always get told I look several years younger than I am (it's fortunate genes, as my dad is 64 and everyone thinks he is 10 years younger because he looks it). I'm starting to age a bit more now I am 42 and people are always shocked to learn I am that age as until they find out, they invariably think I am around 35. When I was 38, I still had some people thinking I was late-20s!!

When I was OLD, I actually had people message me to say I was clearly a liar and using someone else's photos because the person in the photos was clearly a lot younger than the age I said I was. You can't win!

I also know that plenty of women lie about their age on OLD too, also from experience.

DadOnIce Are younger women ageist because they want to date someone their own age?
The shame is that lots of men prefer younger women

I would find out why he lied and depending on the answer, I would see how nice he was and whether I liked him before deciding to dump him.
Sometimes people are put off by an age over 50. Lots of people like about their age through insecurity rather than trying to deceive.

I lied about my age when I used to do OLD because I was lonely, had zero confidence and felt nobody would even look at me. Perception of age can be brutal and many people feel that over a certain age r'ships are hard to come by as people are just not interested. I met my now DH and was honest when we had our first date and he was very understanding about it. Don't judge too harshly.

I don't know if it's an understandable response to ageism DadonIce. I think it's more likely to be a man that rejects women his own age and lies to attract the younger women he prefers. Don't you?

Yes because middle aged men are such a catch that they deserve younger women whereas women their own age are just so unattractive and past it hmm

It wasn't actually women his own age it was women far older than him.
It's all down to personal preference, personally I wouldn't date a man younger than me and would go older. Why waste everyone's time by not filtering out people you're not interested in? Makes perfect sense to me.

did he tell you immediately?

if so, what was his reason for doing it?

lying about age always makes me think of this - not relevant but might be funny if you are looking for a light read
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/the-guyliner/awkward-dates-gay-dating_b_4176862.html

It wasn't the age that was the issue, it was the lying, and I only found out because the DDs are excellent online stalkers.

I'd ask him face to face why he lied about his age to see his reaction and find out his reason and take it from there.

Then I'd probably ditch him and tell him it's because he's a liar

Are you 100% sure that 56 is accurate? Unless you found his date of birth somewhere official (e.g. your DD hacked into the DVLC) I can't see how you can be sure which is correct (or neither).

I agree it seems likely he's lied on the online profile but I'd at least ask and give him the chance to defend himself.

On the other hand, you might not want to confess you've been stalking him... which makes it a little awkward and possibly better to bail :)

Everyone at least Googles or Facebook searches OLD dates though, don't they? It's not stalkerish to briefly check they've not been appearing in the local press on burglary charges (or worse), or that their wife doesn't feature in their FB profile photo.

I would message him and say you're minded to can it, due to the lie, and see what his reaction to this is. He may (probably won't) provide a credible excuse.

Lying about your age is as old as the hills, but he could have said "in my early 50s" which would have perhaps been slightly more acceptable.

I think anyone that doesn't do some online stalking before meeting someone they only know via OLD is pretty stupid.

You're effectively meeting up with someone you know absolutely nothing about, not even if the name they've given you is real.

His details are very easily found on the internet due to an activity he does. He told me to look. Bit stupid lying about it really

Happened to me. He had issues with: ageing, older women (ie only fancied those 10+ years younger than him), looking youthful.......too many issues to start a relationship with....

I was wondering why you were shouting about him being old in the title. took a minute to work out OLD is online dating hahahahaha.

He is clearly happy to tell self-serving lies, so yes, dump him.