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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit miffed by this...

86 replies

Xmasfairy86 · 10/09/2016 07:55

Been with DP 12 years. Engaged 2 months.

Whilst discussing the wedding and bits, he mentioned that we'll need a wedding ring. Singular. Because he doesn't wear jewellery.

Now, when we met he was married. Wearing a ring.

Am I BU to be a tad hurt by this? Should I man up and accept it?
Don't most men wear no jewellery until marriage and then only a ring??!!

Looking for some not too brutally honest opinions!!

OP posts:

jamdonut · 10/09/2016 10:30

I'm also a mainly silver girl, but my wedding ring is a twist of 3 coloured golds.
I don't care about mixing my metals up !

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 10/09/2016 11:00

Perhaps he was pressured into wearing a ring before and wants this marriage to be as different as possible?

SoupDragon · 10/09/2016 11:41

It's clearly more a thing for all of you than it is me.
I'm not upset by it.

so why the thread where you say you are "miffed", a "tad hurt" and wanting brutally honest opinions as to whether it's normal?

FrancisCrawford · 10/09/2016 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwoLittleBlooms · 10/09/2016 12:15

I think I would be a bit miffed if he wore one previously - if he had not worn one previously or had a valued reason not to then I would understand. My husband wore his ring when we married but wears it on his other hand now. I said I wouldn't wear mine then (they were getting tight anyway as I have got a bit fatter since we married) and he shrugged his shoulders so now I don't bother wearing mine.

spicyfajitas · 10/09/2016 12:20

I have a ring that I don't wear. Sometimes I go through phases when I do, mostly I don't. I can't remember whether I've seen my dh with his on recently or not

milkysmum · 10/09/2016 12:21

My dh has never worn his ring as he is in the building trade and it wouldn't be safe. He does have one though but never had it in in 10 years bar our wedding day!

dotdotdotmustdash · 10/09/2016 12:27

DH and I married in 2000 and left the ring exchange section out of the ceremony as neither of us like wearing any jewelry. I didn't change my name or describe myself as 'Mrs' either. We're just as married as anyone else.

ColourfullyWonderful · 10/09/2016 12:30

My dh wears his if we go out together socially and he will sometimes put it on if he is going out with friends. All voluntarily. But he doesn't wear it at home or at work as its uncomfortable. I rarely wear mine either ... Just not a jewellery person!

whathehellhappened · 10/09/2016 12:31

We borrowed a ring for my DH during the ceremony. I like jewellery so I got one but no point wasting good gold on my DH to sit in a drawer all its life.

I think people often see it as a trust thing but if someone wants to stray a ring won't stop them.

emwithme · 10/09/2016 12:57

DH doesn't wear his wedding ring (although we did both have them on the wedding day). He works in a science setting so it's not really safe to have jewellery around the chemicals, and volunteers with the Army Cadets so (although wedding rings are allowed) it's not particularly safe if he's doing shooting or other army-related/outdoorsy type stuff.

He keeps it safe on the strap of his dress watch (rather than his everyday watch which is similarly chemical-safe/cheap to replace if he finds that a chemical has attacked it!) and wears it if we go out somewhere "naice" (and then spends the whole time with his finger feeling odd because he's not used to wearing a ring).

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