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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he needs a bed.

26 replies

HeCantBeSerious · 09/09/2016 23:27

Met up with friend and his son earlier. He has access from Friday till Sunday every other week and has done for the 2 years since he and his ex split. Son is 3, and taller than average (and off the top of the charts weight wise). He has a decent sized house, not badly off for money (has been abroad for 4 weeks so far this year and done 3 major festivals).

His son sleeps in a travel cot when he stays over. I just can't imagine a child that size and age being comfortable in a travel cot.

WIBU to tell him to get the boy a single bed?

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 09/09/2016 23:29

Tight git.
Maybe he is worried about him wandering during the night - - like back to his dm to his cosy bed!!

EveOnline2016 · 09/09/2016 23:39

Dd would only sleep in s travel cot. If the child is happy and comfy what's the issue.

Original poster
HeCantBeSerious · 09/09/2016 23:39

He's tall enough to climb out and get into his dad's bed (and does).

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 10/09/2016 02:53

my ds slept in a cot til he was almost 4. he liked it, I saw no reason to change it until he needed to be getting up to use the toilet at night. MYOB

Spring2016 · 10/09/2016 03:29

Ywbu to tell him to get a bed for the child, but not unreasonable to ask him why he doesn't have a bed. I learned (from a relative) that my 5yr old relative was sleeping on a crib mattress on the floor about that age, however the one who told me did take them out and bought new beds for all of the kids and the parents.

cansu · 10/09/2016 06:40

He probably does need a bed now. He has perhaps just not thought about it. Ask him.

Original poster
HeCantBeSerious · 10/09/2016 08:49

my ds slept in a cot til he was almost 4. he liked it, I saw no reason to change it until he needed to be getting up to use the toilet at night

It's a travel cot. Hmm

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 10/09/2016 08:51

Did you not ask him why?

ScrambledSmegs · 10/09/2016 08:55

My on-the-tall-side DD was too big for travel cots by time she turned 2. If this child is as big as you say, and stays at his dad's house as frequently as this, I'm very surprised the dad hasn't noticed that his child is too big for it.

neonrainbow · 10/09/2016 08:57

Why do you think is any of your business?

WinterIsHereJon · 10/09/2016 09:01

Surely he's taller than the length of the bed?

ScrambledSmegs · 10/09/2016 09:03

Today 08:57 neonrainbow

Why do you think is any of your business?

Seriously? Why should anyone care about the welfare of a child?

GreatFuckability · 10/09/2016 09:04

Yes, I can read. Its still none of your business.

SaucyJack · 10/09/2016 09:07

Is the issue perhaps that the father wants/needs to be able to put the cot up when his son isn't there due to space issues?

A Z bed might be a good suggestion. Once with a decent mattress would be much better than a travel cot.

ScrambledSmegs · 10/09/2016 09:09

In answer to your OP - no, I would never tell someone to buy a bed for their child. I might ask why they're still in the travel, but he might be in it for reasons you don't know.

Besides, for all you know his dad is going to buy him a new bed with the money he's just earned. Sounds like his income is a bit sporadic.

Willowesd · 10/09/2016 09:11

Who cares? Don't understand this obsession with moving children into beds when there's no problem with a cot. Stop interfering

ayeokthen · 10/09/2016 09:12

Our youngest is 2 and taller than his 3 year old sister. He wouldn't fit in a travel cot, let alone be comfy in one! He does still sleep in a cot bed with sides as we've tried to take them off and he hates it, but a travel cot is completely different.

Original poster
HeCantBeSerious · 10/09/2016 09:23

Besides, for all you know his dad is going to buy him a new bed with the money he's just earned. Sounds like his income is a bit sporadic

Where did you get that from? His income isn't sporadic at all. He rents a house from a family member so rent is extremely low and he's on a fair bit more than the average salary.

OP posts:
MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 10/09/2016 09:24

Does the travel cot have one of those mattresses you can buy to make it comfortable? I know the mattresses that come with the travel cot are quite flat, so I bought one of those additional mattresses.
My DS3 uses a travel cot with one of those mattresses I just mentioned above, and sleeps in it every night. Not just 2 nights a week. He does have a normal cotbed as well but he just seems more content in his travel cot. I think it's because it's smaller and he feels more secure.
Once I have finished re decorating the boys' bedroom though I am going to get DS3 in his cotbed as I can't see him using his travel cot this time next year as he will be getting too big for it.

I think that's the problem with your friend's DS using a travel cot- his size and his age. The fact that it's a travel cot isn't the problem as they aren't the work of the devil, it's the fact that he has probably grown out of it and needs something bigger.

Original poster
HeCantBeSerious · 10/09/2016 09:24

Did you not ask him why?

I didn't. Was a bit shocked! Blush

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 10/09/2016 09:25

Ah, sorry. Thought you said he'd just made some money from three major festivals. Friends I have who do specific work at festivals and events have irregular incomes. Clearly his income isn't subject to the same issues.

Original poster
HeCantBeSerious · 10/09/2016 09:27

Is the issue perhaps that the father wants/needs to be able to put the cot up when his son isn't there due to space issues?

He lives alone in a 3 bedroom house. It's not due to space. I think he got the travel cot in the split and has just carried on with it. There was a break in access (he had to go back to court to get the order enforced) but that was some time ago. Things are settled now and the little boy sleeps in a bed at home.

OP posts:
eightbluebirds · 10/09/2016 09:31

That does seem sloppy. My LO was in a travel cot at my mums until he was 2.5 and that was once a fortnight maybe and definitely pushing it! It just doesn't look comfortable or supportive at all. YANBU OP

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 10/09/2016 09:57

so do neither of the spare bedrooms have beds then?

Original poster
HeCantBeSerious · 10/09/2016 10:15

I don't think so. I know the previous resident (a relative of his) died there so think the house was cleared and renovated and then he moved in.

OP posts: