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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

....to still want to go to the wedding?

112 replies

HeldTogetherByGafferTape · 09/09/2016 11:24

I've recently moved out of London up to Scotland. I'm 39 + 1 weeks pregnant (first pregnancy), and I have a wedding invite tomorrow in London town.

I booked an paid for everything months ago in the hope that my either my brain or biology would have made it clear by now whether I was going to be able to go or not. But here we are 1 day before and I'm still in a muddle about what to do.

First class tickets on the train journey (4hours) are booked and paid for, travelling down tomorrow morning, and back up Sunday morning, as is a room at the hotel where the reception is happening, and husband is also booked to come along for the trip and the wedding, so I'm likely to be pretty comfortable and well looked after all day, and able to rest should it all become a bit too much.

Pros of going are - seeing a really dear group of friends I won't see for probably a long time after the baby arrives, plus maintaining some important work contacts which is critical in my industry, especially as I'm freelance. Also of course having a nice day at the wedding, and not letting the grooms down by flaking out at the last minute (though obviously we had a chat when they invited me that I couldn't guarantee attendance and were happy to keep me on the list) + I guess not losing money on the train and hotel (though tbh I'm far less bothered about that last aspect).

There's only one big Con - what if I go into labour? Either on the train or in London.

All my maternity care up to 8 months was in London, so the idea of giving birth down there isn't terrifying...though I'd really rather not! What really worries me is the logistics of getting back to Scotland again with the baby were this to happen, and we don't have a house there any more to spend some time in while we sorted ourselves out.

The midwife didn't seems too alarmed when I spoke to her about it 10 days ago. She just said to take the book and a hospital bag just in case. Since then the bump seems to have dropped a little, but I'm still pretty mobile, no twinges, can cross my legs etc, but a few more experienced friends have made it clear that they think I'm mad to even consider it.

So - what do you think? Am I mad/unreasonable to even consider doing this?

OP posts:
myfriendnigel · 09/09/2016 16:15

I'd go-chances are it'll be fine-and if you do go into labour, well it'll be a nice story for the baby later on...

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor · 09/09/2016 16:18

Go! Enjoy :)

And if you DO give birth in the train try and get a free season ticket Grin

NotMyMoney · 09/09/2016 16:18

If you don't go and don't go into labour you'll be disappointed

If you go and have the baby you'll have a baby and have a baby all good to me

GO GO GO

BolshierAryaStark · 09/09/2016 16:19

I'd go, enjoy yourself.

heron98 · 09/09/2016 16:19

feel free to ignore this advice as I have never had a baby, but doesn't labour take ages? if you felt the first twinges you could get the train back to Scotland before anything serious happened.

neolara · 09/09/2016 16:22

Hmm. Well as it's a first labour it could take days. Alternatively, it could be like my first labour and be 4 1/2 hours from first twinge to baby. I guess you can always get off the train if it all kicks off while you're travelling.

I'm not sure I'd go, but then my 3 babies were all early and very quick. (Won't scare you by telling your about the sub-30 minute third labour.... )

OlennasWimple · 09/09/2016 16:25

The only thing I would add is that if you start to feel any twinges or cramps do not ignore them, either because you don't want to ruin the wedding or because you are having a great time and don't want to leave.

CinderellaFant · 09/09/2016 16:26

Go for it!! You'll b so disappointed if you don't go and don't go into labour!

nannybeach · 09/09/2016 16:29

Go and enjoy!

MarriedinMaui · 09/09/2016 16:33

Def go! You sound very organised and I think you'd be really sad on the day if you missed it. My labour with the first took so long I had time to go out for lunch and to the dentist even after it had started.

tupperwareAARGGH · 09/09/2016 16:35

Ah just go you'll be fine, you're not travelling to a place where there is a lack of decent care.

Have some fun before the baby arrives.

MsMarvel · 09/09/2016 16:38

bookmarking for the 'i had my baby on the train!' post!
Best way to encourage labour is to do something that you dont want to go into labour during! Sil went to the cinema 3 days overdue and her waters went.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 09/09/2016 16:39

I wouldn't. My first was born at 39 weeks and I just wouldn't want to risk giving birth on a train.

mrsvilliers · 09/09/2016 16:39

I'd go. Particularly if you're feeling well. Pack a hospital bag or even just write a list of what you might need if you went into labour. Both my dc had be to evicted though Grin

stouensbay · 09/09/2016 16:45

Don't upstage the bride by giving birth either in church or around the time of speeches or first dance. You won't be forgiven!!

sunnydayinmay · 09/09/2016 16:49

We have to have an update on this thread - giving birth on train? Giving birth in church? Giving birth, soap opera style, at the reception?

I agree, if you feel okay, go for it and enjoy.Grin

Ilovewillow · 09/09/2016 16:51

Id go, I went camping a week before my son! Just take your notes, hospital bag and check out where the nearest hospital is! Might be worth taking a car seat too just in case! If you go have fun!

sandragreen · 09/09/2016 16:52

I would probably go. I wouldn't be worried about starting labour on the train, you would just get off at the next station and go to hospital from there. London is full of excellent hospitals.

I don't want to start a bun fight, but the only thing that would trouble me, would be the Post Brexit implication of having my child born in Scotland rather than England. Unless either you or DH are Scottish, I would much prefer to have my child born in Scotland so that if Brexit actually is ever triggered, and Scotland leaves the union, my child might still be able to operate freely in Europe.

Go, have fun, baby will probably be late anyway. Flowers

Stopyourhavering · 09/09/2016 16:52

Definitely go!.... First class travel will be comfy and I'm sure there would be a medic on board somewhere to give assistance if necessary
Have fun!

AChickenCalledKorma · 09/09/2016 16:54

Does your husband know what to do if you go into labour on the train? I'm serious. There are some long gaps between stops on the Scotland to London trains, so getting to a hospital cannot be taken for granted. And first labours are not always slow or late.

annielostit · 09/09/2016 16:56

Go & be lushed over by all you friends. My LO was 10days over what the next said & 1 day after when I said he'd come.
Pack a couple of baby/birth things. They got shops in London.😀

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/09/2016 16:57

go, take bags and notes and worst /best happens and you go into labour you go to local hospital

you feel ok and often 1st babies are late

imwithspud · 09/09/2016 17:04

I would go, take your notes and a small hospital bag if possible... Just in case!

I would feel a bit disappointed if I didn't go and baby then ended up being overdue.

Catnoise · 09/09/2016 17:31

I'm only 37 weeks but off to a wedding tomorrow. I'm slightly concerned things might be starting to happen but I've felt like that for a few days now so I dont think it is - I'm probably just exhausted! The wedding I'm off to is also only an hour and a half drive away.

Hope you have a lovely time at the wedding!

LindyHemming · 09/09/2016 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.