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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....to still want to go to the wedding?

112 replies

HeldTogetherByGafferTape · 09/09/2016 11:24

I've recently moved out of London up to Scotland. I'm 39 + 1 weeks pregnant (first pregnancy), and I have a wedding invite tomorrow in London town.

I booked an paid for everything months ago in the hope that my either my brain or biology would have made it clear by now whether I was going to be able to go or not. But here we are 1 day before and I'm still in a muddle about what to do.

First class tickets on the train journey (4hours) are booked and paid for, travelling down tomorrow morning, and back up Sunday morning, as is a room at the hotel where the reception is happening, and husband is also booked to come along for the trip and the wedding, so I'm likely to be pretty comfortable and well looked after all day, and able to rest should it all become a bit too much.

Pros of going are - seeing a really dear group of friends I won't see for probably a long time after the baby arrives, plus maintaining some important work contacts which is critical in my industry, especially as I'm freelance. Also of course having a nice day at the wedding, and not letting the grooms down by flaking out at the last minute (though obviously we had a chat when they invited me that I couldn't guarantee attendance and were happy to keep me on the list) + I guess not losing money on the train and hotel (though tbh I'm far less bothered about that last aspect).

There's only one big Con - what if I go into labour? Either on the train or in London.

All my maternity care up to 8 months was in London, so the idea of giving birth down there isn't terrifying...though I'd really rather not! What really worries me is the logistics of getting back to Scotland again with the baby were this to happen, and we don't have a house there any more to spend some time in while we sorted ourselves out.

The midwife didn't seems too alarmed when I spoke to her about it 10 days ago. She just said to take the book and a hospital bag just in case. Since then the bump seems to have dropped a little, but I'm still pretty mobile, no twinges, can cross my legs etc, but a few more experienced friends have made it clear that they think I'm mad to even consider it.

So - what do you think? Am I mad/unreasonable to even consider doing this?

OP posts:

ChatEnOeuf · 09/09/2016 11:57

Definitely go! Take your notes and your bag (because if you don't you'll definitely need them!), and have a lovely time. Even if you go into labour on the train, you'll likely have time to either get to your destination (either end), or the next major city.

AlpacaLypse · 09/09/2016 11:58

If you still feel fine tomorrow, do it! You'll regret it if you end up spending a very boring weekend with nothing happening on the labour front, and with a husband, a hospital bag and your notes to hand, you'll be able to give birth anywhere.

1frenchfoodie · 09/09/2016 11:59

Go for it, I went to a wedding the other end of the country (6+h on train) at a similar stage (38+ 4) this spring and had a great time, I was dancing til 1am! DD came at 40+15 in the end.

SpidersFromMars · 09/09/2016 12:01

I'd go, enjoy it, - it's very unlikely that the baby comes (he'll be late!), and if he does, the worst case scenario is a different birth hospital - there are tons on route.

Original poster

HeldTogetherByGafferTape · 09/09/2016 12:02

Thanks everyone for your responses (both the YES and the NO ones) and for your sensible ideas!

Your replies have been so helpful they've given me a big .

Ok - at the moment will plan for going, and if I start to feel anything different to the norm either today or overnight will reassess.

I'll also update on progress, and whether I've managed to wangle free train ticked for life by giving birth on the West Coast Mainline.

OP posts:

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 09/09/2016 12:02

I had a wedding in Scotland (I'm down south) as it happens, when I was 38 weeks pregnant. Ummed and Ahh-ed about it for weeks before hand, checking out all the hospitals in close range of all the train stations and the venue.

Didn't make it in the end; I was still in hospital with a 1 week old. First baby.

Dollius01 · 09/09/2016 12:04

There are hospitals down south you know! Just take your hospital notes with you and check where the nearest maternity unit is.

PuraVida · 09/09/2016 12:04

first labours are often errrrm lengthly. if you do begin to see signs you'll probably have enough time to travel home and back again six times before anything much actually happens

ShebaShimmyShake · 09/09/2016 12:05

I went to a wedding on my due date.

TragicallyUnbeyachted · 09/09/2016 12:08

Go. You're feeling well, you're well-prepared, you're not even bothered about the possibility of having the baby in London.

If you do have the baby in London you can come back on the train with him/her -- the magic first couple of newborn weeks when they sleep half the day (even if they are awake half the night). But you're not likely to.

If you go into labour on the train you'll (a) almost certainly have plenty of time -- first labours don't normally happen that quickly, and (b) be going through lots of big towns/cities where they could stop the train and have you transferred to a hospital very quickly.

Most likely scenario, though, is that you go to the wedding, have a good but uneventful time, travel home as planned and then have the baby in a week or ten days, feeling very glad that you went ahead and didn't cancel the trip.

happyinthesunshine · 09/09/2016 12:09

My due date for my son fell on my sisters wedding day. It was 150 miles away and I really wanted to go. I saw my midwife the day before and she examined me saying I was ok to go as I my body hadn't given any signs at all of being ready for birth. Apparently there are lots of signs that can be detected through internal examination. I went, had a wonderful day, and give birth 14 days later!

ShotsFired · 09/09/2016 12:09

Go for it.

Worst case you have a great "and this is how the baby was born..." anecdote to regale friends and said child with later on

Have a great time at the wedding!

shhhgobacktosleep · 09/09/2016 12:10

If you've had an uncomplicated pregnancy I'd go. Chances to party when you have a newborn will be limited non existent so go and enjoy yourself. Take notes and a bag and if it happens have baby in a hospital in London or en route and have a great labour story to share for life

DoristheNovice · 09/09/2016 12:11

If you're feeling fine within yourself then go! I would.

DiegeticMuch · 09/09/2016 12:13

Go! Have fun, but be prepared.

fruitlovingmonkey · 09/09/2016 12:23

Go for it and have fun!
If you have uncontrollable urges to clean the hotel room, it might be time to go home!

AlpacaPicnic · 09/09/2016 12:24

Do it!

And - just once or twice - hold your bump and go 'ooh' like they do in films, especially if you need some more space on the train platform etc.
Not too often though, we've all read the Boy who cries wolf.

CurlyBlueberry · 09/09/2016 12:28

Go! You sound like you want to.

(blatant place marking to see how OP gets on)

DoinItFine · 09/09/2016 12:31

I would go.

It sounds like you feel up to it, so go.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 09/09/2016 12:42

As long as you don't have to end up calling the baby 'Euston' to qualify for the free tickets

Jenny2014 · 09/09/2016 12:51

In terms of planning, is there someone your DH could stay with if you needed to stay for longer? My first was a tiny bit late but needed to stay in hospital for 2 weeks in special care because he was unexpectedly poorly. I hope the baby stays put, but maybe think about practicalities too - additional accommodation / travel home.

NerrSnerr · 09/09/2016 14:08

My baby came at 38 weeks (after seeing the midwife the day before who told me that there's no way she'll be coming early). I don't think I would fancy being in labour on a train to be honest but it's up to you.

trafalgargal · 09/09/2016 15:51

I'd do it ,there's probably nowhere on the journey you aren't within half an hour of a major hospital and London doesn't scare you. The only proviso is sit somewhere you can make a fast exit from in the ceremony and reception if needs be.

Have fun.

Lules · 09/09/2016 16:02

I would go if you feel up to it. I had a full day before I went into labour where I knew it was about to happen (plug went, period type pains). I would suggest your husband stays fairly sober though at the wedding. A friend of mine went into labour the night after a wedding and her husband was not in a very fit state!

cexuwaleozbu · 09/09/2016 16:09

Do it! Chances are that all will be well. Take it easy and don't overdo things but you will have a splendid time. Obviously take a hospital bag and your notes just in case but if you did have your baby in London it would be no biggy. 4 hours on a first class train journey with a newborn won't be that much different to 4 hours anywhere else with a newborn.

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