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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want our 4 year old to be watching the news

128 replies

PaddlingUpstream · 08/09/2016 19:27

DH cooking in the kitchen, with the evening news on TV, with DS on sofa staring at the TV. When I said I didn't think it was appropriate for DS to be watching the news, DH's response was 'but I'm trying to watch it', with lots of tutting, huffing and puffing and 'can't DS watch something in the other room'. Er, yes, but you're supposed to be looking after DS for 15 mins while I'm in the shower but regardless, it's not appropriate for DS to watch it so why are you ignoring the fact that he is watching it? This conversation is a regular occurrence. So MN jury, AIBU?

OP posts:
Pominoz1 · 09/09/2016 17:06

At 4 years old my children did not 'watch' the news. DH loves the news so we compromised and he had the tv at 9 and 10 O'clock each night to get his fill of death, horror, lying politicians etc. When they were older I would quietly monitor the news throughout the day via the radio and some stories were vetoed and others ok enough to listen to. The world is horrible enough to deal with so why on earth would anyone want them to be exposed so early to the horrors of others.

HandmaidsTail · 09/09/2016 17:49

Elle yes but there are also important numerous benefits to watching the news whereas there are no benefits to watching JK. They're not remotely comparable.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 09/09/2016 17:58

There are benefits to watching the news, and children having an awareness and knowledge of the world around them, I agree. However there are events reported on the news that children really don't benefit from seeing, or knowing too much about at such a young age. Childhood should be a time of innocence.

traceyjwebb · 09/09/2016 18:07

I wouldn't watch the new with my dd when I was a child I was exposed to news things like murders and burglary etc and was scared of sleeping on my own don't want my child to ever worry

nennyrainbow · 09/09/2016 18:08

When DS1 was about 6, I left him watching CBBC in the other room while I cooked dinner but came back in to find him watching the news. I asked if he had switched channels by accident. His reply was " no, I'm watching the news to see if any of my friends have died today."

Incidentally, that quote wasn't inspired by anything he had seen on the news, but rather because the year before, his teacher had died suddenly and his understanding was that the news will tell you if someone important has died. We have the news on sometimes with DCs in the room and have never had a problem with it. Although he was watching it, I don't actually think he was taking much of it in.

HandmaidsTail · 09/09/2016 18:09

Yes, and that's where parental supervision comes in. For me, a blanket ban isn't the best choice.

mellongoose · 09/09/2016 18:30

It's not necessarily the stories they cover its more the graphic way they do it. It's depressing and shocking for adults, so much so that they often have to 'warn' about distressing content.

How is this acceptable for children? Young minds can't process or detach themselves in the same way.

I would like to see news being less 'dramatic ' and shocking before the watershed.

Believeitornot · 09/09/2016 18:59

I would really like news aimed at primary school children tbh. By that I don't mean nice ways of describing murder/terrorist etc but of current affairs and politics. So about the latest prime minister; which heads of state are visiting and that sort of thing.

Cagliostro · 09/09/2016 19:04

YANBU

Lickedthespoon · 09/09/2016 19:05

Personally, i think children should have some things filtered to them - like war, killings, terrorism etc. At a young age kids don't need to know the full gorey details, but you can always educate them without frightening them so much. There's plenty of time for them to find out how cruel the world can be, but kids should be kids and carefree (to a degree if course)

sleepy16 · 09/09/2016 19:43

I'm on the fence with this, I remember as a child not watching the news.
But hearing it second hand from other children.
I was absolutely petrified of planes going over (during the Falkland war) incase we got bombed.
My mother never spoke to me about news, it was all hush hush.
I do believe we want to protect our children from the evils of the world.
But I do think that children should know certain aspects of news, and if a parent is watching it they should be aware how much they do take in and have time to talk to their child about said news.

Original poster
PaddlingUpstream · 09/09/2016 19:52

Wow. I didn't expect this thread to stir up such a debate and such extreme views.

Maybe my post should have said 'is DH being irresponsible letting a very sensitive DS watch distressing footage on channel 4 news without supervision, especially as I'm going to watch the news again in an hour once DS is in bed'.

I agree children need to get an understanding of the world. DS knows about Brexit (in very simple terms) and voting, that some people don't have homes or families, why people live in different countries. I pretty sure C4 news target audience is not under 5s (it also seems more graphic, IMHO, than BBC - I think watershed is just bbc?).

I too remember my parents watching the headlines and then turning off the news. But the headlines these days seem to contain many of the attention grabbing horrific video shots, so you need to be pretty damn quick to switch over.

Then again I'm slightly shocked and dismayed at how normalised violence has become in even the most 'family friendly', U-rated films. But that is another thread entirely.

OP posts:
user1471552005 · 09/09/2016 20:06

I.m on the fence here. I do think a lot of the news is quite gratuitous, for instance a lot more coverage is given to stories if they have very graphic video clips.
I try not to watch too much news coverage, i like to keep up, but I hate to have my mind flooded with horrible footage.

My DD was 4 when the 2004 boxing day tsunami happened. She didn't seem upset watching headlines but became very afraid of water for months, refused to go swimming, would rush into the bathroom if I was running a bath, insisting that 2 or 3 inches of water would be fine as she was afraid of anyone drowning.

Her fear passed, but I became much more careful not to have more than quick headlines playing if she was in the room.

MamaBolt · 09/09/2016 22:42

We have the news on around my four year old son. He is inquisitive but is unfazed by it - I have turned off on occasion - the Nice attacks being one - but I also talk to him pretty openly about death, war...
His boundaries between what is real and what is fiction are pretty blurry tbh. I suppose like most things you play it by ear..

MamaBolt · 09/09/2016 22:44

He also watched Stranger Things and found it hilarious. He knows "it's not real life" and he doesn't believe in monsters.

DaveGrohlsMrs · 10/09/2016 10:58

I believe we should explain to our kids that sometimes the world is a bad place etc but in our way, not through them seeing it on the news. It is far too graphic now with mobile phone video footage being shown of actual events etc. Surely your hubby could catch the news once the kids are in bed? It's on 24 hours a day!!!

HandmaidsTail · 10/09/2016 11:11

But there's not graphic footage on. 24 hours a day, unless there's a particularly terrible event. So what's the big problem the other 98% of the time?

DaveGrohlsMrs · 10/09/2016 17:13

I'm not sure if your comment was in response to mine handmaids, but that wasn't the point I was trying to make. What I was trying to say was there is no need to be watching the news which has potentially upsetting images for a sensitive four year old when there are news channels running 24 hours a day that the OP's husband could be watching when their child is not around. We only used to have the option of the evening news or the 10 o'clock news so sometimes it was unavoidable for very young children, now though there is not that excuse. If your child is fine with it that's great but for others it is not and can lead to nightmares etc. It is a parent's individual choice to make based on what they know their child is able to handle. What is right for one is not right for another and that's fair play. All I'm saying is with all the options we have nowadays to see the news we don't have to be exposing our young children to it if we feel it is inappropriate for them.

lazyarse123 · 10/09/2016 18:29

I think 4 is a bit young to see graphic images on the news, if anything important was happening in the world it would flash up anyway so husband wouldn't miss anything, but can I just ask is there any reason why your son could not just watch tv in another room or does he need constant supervision (not being goady), sorry if this has been dealt with not had time to rtft.

user1470250466 · 12/09/2016 09:37

We don't watch the news because it's filled with lies! I openly tell my children that this is why I turn over when the news is on. They are allowed to watch Newsround if they want to. I don't want them growing up thinking the TV tells the truth!

notsoyoungnstupid · 12/09/2016 10:11

YANBU
He is four.
The world filtered through the eye of news media is a terrifying, depressing, and overwhelming place. I am 43 and human, and I can't sleep after watching the TV news. I talk to my DD about what's happening in the world I don't need it beamed into our home before bedtime.

FfionFlorist · 12/09/2016 10:23

I find that mn splits on this subject and on children at funerals roughly 2 thirds against and 1 third for. I'm always in the minority.

BeMorePanda · 12/09/2016 10:34

Mine are 5 & 8 and I still don't watch the news in front of them. I will often turn the radio off when the news comes on too. I don't have a problem accessing news myself.

I did subscribe to First News for 8yo for a while - and she reads it at school. We do discuss things that are going on. But they don't need to be burdened with all that stuff.

having said that their Dad's family with have TV news channels on all day so I guess they do get exposed to some of it when with him.

I would take them to a funeral though and we do talk about death. 5yo especially fascinated by that.

MargotLovedTom · 12/09/2016 10:46

I can't believe a PP said they would rather their 4 year old watches the news than Peppa Pig or similar.

Having seen the pleasure on my children's face when watching CBeebies etc, I find it hard to imagine they'd demonstrate the same emotions when watching footage of Syrian towns being bombed to smithereens, earthquake survivors being pulled from rubble or dead toddlers lying on beaches, not to mention their questioning the meaning of terminology such as 'rape', 'sexual abuse' and 'terrorism'.

MargotLovedTom · 12/09/2016 10:47

...'childrens' faces'...that should be.