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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want our 4 year old to be watching the news

128 replies

PaddlingUpstream · 08/09/2016 19:27

DH cooking in the kitchen, with the evening news on TV, with DS on sofa staring at the TV. When I said I didn't think it was appropriate for DS to be watching the news, DH's response was 'but I'm trying to watch it', with lots of tutting, huffing and puffing and 'can't DS watch something in the other room'. Er, yes, but you're supposed to be looking after DS for 15 mins while I'm in the shower but regardless, it's not appropriate for DS to watch it so why are you ignoring the fact that he is watching it? This conversation is a regular occurrence. So MN jury, AIBU?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 08/09/2016 20:49

If there is a story that I think is a bit much - normally close to home terrorisim at the moment as Ds is very georgraphy aware and would worry it - then I will change the channel but as a rule I don't have any problem with the news being on.

Ds - 6 - actually seems to be developing quite an interest in politics.

willconcern · 08/09/2016 20:54

Agree with Ragwort.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/09/2016 21:02

You can have your children be part of the world without exposing them to graphic images. FGS DD has had four homeless women and their children living in our house throughout her whole childhood. We talk to homeless people in the street, she knows about drugs and poor children and lots of issues. She even knows about the Canadian elections, lucky girl.

However I don't want her seeing or hearing about lorries driving into crowds at 5.

Believeitornot · 08/09/2016 21:06

There are plenty of ways of exposing your DCs to the reality of the world without letting the news doing it for you.

We discussed Brexit for example when the vote came in and watched the relevant stories with the DCs. But there's no way I'd let them see news of Paris or Nice for example at such a young age.

stripeyshoesy · 08/09/2016 21:38

DH and I are both journalists (a long time) and don't let the 5 year old watch the news.
Plenty of time for current affairs when he is older.

iamEarthymama · 08/09/2016 22:01

Apart from the fact that Main Stream Media is so biased that one can only regard it as a propaganda on behalf of the Establishment, I agree that it is inappropriate for children to watch some of the stories that make up the news.
I would expect anyone who was with them to at least supervise the content and to intervene if stories were too explicit.

HandmaidsTail · 08/09/2016 22:01

Lazy and selfish for watching the news in his own home? Have we really become a nation that's so child-centric that an adult choosing to do something of his own volition is seen as selfish and lazy?

No wonder we've got Brexit underway and Trump in the running for president. Sad

featherpillow · 08/09/2016 22:07

The news is awful to watch as an adult.
We don't let our DC watch it and theyre older than yours.
There is always a story on a stabbing, rape, bomb, arson or kidnapping and none of that is appropriate for children listen to.

MrsDc7 · 08/09/2016 22:13

I don't let my 4yr old DS watch the news and have turned the radio off before now when the news has come on. No need for them to hear about the horrible crap going on in the world xx

Tricorne · 08/09/2016 22:24

My dad would watch BBC24 all day if he could. My DS spent the day with his grandparents and when I went to pick him up I walked into the house to see news footage of a Syrian hospital that had been bombed. No dead bodies or graphic injuries shown, but there was footage showing very distressed relatives and staff, chaotic scenes, people with rough bloodied bandages and blood soaked floors. My only just-four year old looked at me wide eyed in concern and confusion and asked why the floors were painted red... He knew what blood looked like by that age. It played out in conversation for a while and clearly bothered him.

I think there are ways to bring kids up with a an awareness of the world and the many problems (and wonders) in it without them having to see news footage from a young age. I think i turned out OK with a reasonable grasp of current affairs and I grew up in the time of black and white TV and four channels (for my Dad) to choose from - years before the news saturation we currently 'enjoy'.

TVWife · 08/09/2016 22:25

I remember news being on at that age. Don't think I understood it though.

Biggles398 · 08/09/2016 22:29

My parents are big news watchers. They used to look after my DD and I didn't really think about her watching the news. It's only now that she won't get on a plane due to the spate of crashes a few years ago that I wonder if it was such a good idea for my dad to be so insistent on watching it!

MrsMook · 08/09/2016 22:39

My 5 year old is beginning to pick up on things being discussed on the radio. We've talked through things like the war in Syria. His interest is filtered by his general interests, so things like war he's been curious about since he saw reenactors at a living museum. He'll pick up on places that he knows of or has been to too.

I do filter to some extent. My main concern is sexual crimes, particularly with reference to children, and I have turned the radio off before if I feel the topic could lead to a string of awkward questions.

I think imagery is more graphic than it was, but don't tend to have TV news on in the background. We always had the 6 o'clock news on in my childhood and I remember stories such as Beruit, Kings Cross fire, Zebrugge, strikes, famine in Africa, missing people. I think I was about 11 when I became aware of sexual natures to crime which would coincide with sex ed at school; I think I naturally filtered it out before.

There is a balance to be struck. Too many young people are too ignorant of the world around them and of current affairs, but exposure needs to be consderate to the needs of the child.

BertieBotts · 08/09/2016 22:39

I think it's OK if he's watching it with him. I wouldn't be keen on him just letting him watch it alone, surely he could switch to any other channel!

I don't think this is a big deal in general though and am surprised so many would feel strongly. But I haven't been in the UK for 3 years, and didn't tend to watch news on TV much before either so perhaps I'm out of touch with what's shown on the news? I don't remember it being that distressing, mostly it was stuff that would go over their heads.

manyathingyouknow · 08/09/2016 23:07

There is just not a hope in hell that my parents would have turned the news over when I was younger and it's done me no harm. I'm the same with my own son. We watch the local news (Glasgow...it's never particularly cheery Grin) and then the national news. He's 6 and he knows the conservatives are in power and just elected a new leader and America is due to vote for a new leader. He's aware that not everyone is lucky enough to live a calm and peaceful life like him. We generally talk about the news and my DH and MIL are quite political so he hears discussions between them. Hes a well balanced wee boy who seems to has a natural curiosity that we've tried to foster. I just don't think I'd shy away from the news in te basis that the world is a bad place - it's also a very beautiful place too and it's up to me and my DH to show him and his younger DD (18 months) that this is the case.

3BagsFull · 08/09/2016 23:15

The news these days tend to be pretty vanilla before 10 pm... (I don't think the stuff I was exposed to as a kid would be broadcast before midnight today, mind!)
Still - I think YANBU, OP. Childhood is so short. There is plenty of time for kids to learn about man's inhumanity to man. Evenings should be about calm, nice stories, and bedtime cuddles. Not about the latest mass murder weapons activated wherever.
I'd talk to my H if I were you.

frizzfactor · 08/09/2016 23:20

I work in psychotherapy, and the news can be seen as a traumatic event for children. Repeated exposure to the news can permanently damage kids and affect their emotional development. Please please don't let your children watch the news.

frizzfactor · 08/09/2016 23:22

If you must let them watch the news, newsround should do it. Repeated images of war and death etc are the traumas.

ApocalypseSlough · 08/09/2016 23:44

Can I ask you if you think you've reached your potential AcrossthePond55? Would you say you're politically engaged and ambitious? That sounds very goady and I don't mean it to be- very few people describe their childhoods as as happy as yours.

PurpleThursday · 08/09/2016 23:48

Your DS shouldn't be watching it. My DS is 11 now and pretty terrified by what is going on in the world. We can't rationalise most of it - how the hell are they supposed to. It is frightening. They have some fairly child friendly news on Children's Channels that is informative and educational to them. Adult news is just gratuitous and frightening to children. YA definitely NBU.

PurpleThursday · 09/09/2016 00:02

Justmarried what do you do to stop famine and war? Serious question. It is the helplessness and the fear and upset of these situations that really distresses my son and really adds to his anxiety. We have discussions about lots of topical subjects and he is well informed and asks questions in lots of areas which I answer honestly and age appropriately but have you actually watched the news recently? Rapists, paedophile's, violent assaults, murders, Radom terror attacks etc. All often described in very graphic detail. It is not the same as the news we grew up with and really not appropriate for developing children.

Kurtiz · 09/09/2016 00:14

I don't think they should be shielded from the real world but I would worry about them being de sensitised to terrible events from a young age, and therefore becoming overly philosophical and pragmatic adults. We need to still be shocked as adults to actually do things to help. I think if children are exposed too soon they will never be shocked enough to make changes.

AnnieOnnieMouse · 09/09/2016 00:27

I think he's lazy and selfish because he'd rather sit and half-watch the news because he wants to, rather than be doing a bit of proper parenting by ensuring his small son doesn't see any horrors on the screen for 15 minutes, while his DW has a shower.

Atenco · 09/09/2016 03:30

Despite the horrible news, life is a pretty wonderful thing and I feel that a small child should be well-grounded in the beauty of life, before they start to learn about its underbelly.

I sometimes wonder what is the point of the news, to make us feel shite or maybe to make us feel smug in an I'm all right Jack way?

mimishimmi · 09/09/2016 05:34

". Repeated exposure to the news can permanently damage kids and affect their emotional development"

Does it to a lot of adults too, especially if our communities have been targeted in the past...