Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want our 4 year old to be watching the news

128 replies

PaddlingUpstream · 08/09/2016 19:27

DH cooking in the kitchen, with the evening news on TV, with DS on sofa staring at the TV. When I said I didn't think it was appropriate for DS to be watching the news, DH's response was 'but I'm trying to watch it', with lots of tutting, huffing and puffing and 'can't DS watch something in the other room'. Er, yes, but you're supposed to be looking after DS for 15 mins while I'm in the shower but regardless, it's not appropriate for DS to watch it so why are you ignoring the fact that he is watching it? This conversation is a regular occurrence. So MN jury, AIBU?

OP posts:
lemonzest123 · 09/09/2016 11:00

Wow, really interesting how divided everyone is. I remember the news being on constantly growing up, I used to ask my Mum questions when we watched it together after lunch. I don't remember herbshying away from anything in particular. This is probably why I'm a complete news junkie myself!

ayeokthen · 09/09/2016 11:04

YANBU at all. I accidentally left the bbc news channel on the other morning while the kids were having breakfast and footage of Aylan Kurdi being carried up the beach came on. I was distraught worrying they'd seen it but thankfully they hadn't been paying attention.

HandmaidsTail · 09/09/2016 11:32

Humid of course you can filter; that's normal and sensible!

What's riling me on this thread is people saying it's inappropriate, wrong, lazy, selfish, etc, to have the news on when children are around.

To me, this special snowflake culture is a contributor to ignorance of the world around us.

I always encourage my kids to be interested and ask questions, and to learn about new things. I'm not ramming horrible images down their throat either.

There is a middle way though, which plenty of posters here seem not to agree with. It's quite worrying actually.

NataliaOsipova · 09/09/2016 11:36

I encourage my children to listen to the news! I remember things from when I was 3 or 4....and I think I have a much better perspective on events of that time because it feels like I was "there", even though I didn't fully understand what was going on. Obviously, I try to answer their questions in an age appropriate way, but I think it's really good for children to have an awareness of politics and international affairs at a young age. On another point, I can't believe there are adults who avoid the news - presumably you read a serious paper every day, otherwise how on earth do you know what is going on in the world?

Sgtmajormummy · 09/09/2016 11:43

24 hour news channels show undiluted news stories round the clock, so there is no watershed.

We're living in frightening times and I believe there is an argument for sheltering preschoolers from these images, porn, low-life talk shows, violent images and aggressive advertising. Once they're 7/8 they can start to take an interest.

Watch the news in your own child-free time.

biggles50 · 09/09/2016 11:45

You are not being unreasonable. I watched the news when I was 9. There'd been a kidnapping and the poor woman's body was never recovered. I remember hearing that the police thought her body may have been fed to pigs on the farm. I was so terrified and so disturbed it caused me two years of sleepless nights. Only went away when a wonderful nun helped me through the trauma. The news reports the horrors of the world and can deeply traumatise a child as I can testify.

HandmaidsTail · 09/09/2016 11:59

SgtMajor the things you describe are not news. Hmm

theelectricmichaelangelo · 09/09/2016 12:03

its not necessary to put violent real life images in front of young children. I think as they grow older they will gradually become more exposed and we need to be available and ready to discuss it with them. I do believe we must not shelter /wrap in cotton wool so I've always told my children how it is for other children around the world ( maybe I should not do this at a young age) but I've always felt my kids are more priveledged and should grow up with an understanding that this isn't the norm for everyone. That some children do lose parents due to war etc and food shortages. But I stop short at showing them graphic war scenes in the news. It's necessary to inform and educate but not frighten and terrify. There is a balance to be had. We can't always know what the news is going to come up with so I don't let it roll in. Also my friends son at 10 is able to tolerate many films that my same age son would find distressing so I think as a parent you have to decide what and how much your child can handle regardless of age. It's a shame however if they become 'desensitised ' or exposed to so much it doesn't bother them anymore. It should always bother us. It's just whether they have the emotional maturity to deal with it. Parents should be the judge of that in my view.

Minesadoublethanks · 09/09/2016 12:28

Newsround is for children. It keeps them informed without all the horrific details or images. Children in the UK are already ranked as almost the most unhappy and anxious children in the world- we should protect very young minds until they are developed enough to cope with adult realities. Discussions on harsh topics great but gory details and images def not for young children.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 09/09/2016 12:29

I wish I could let my DC watch the news but I don't. DD is almost 8, DS is 4. At some point, DD will need to see the news but not just yet. I worry about the world she is growing up in.

Yet I suppose so did my parents and their parents too.

user1471258886 · 09/09/2016 12:31

News is generally on in my house, but I am always there to see if there are things coming on, which my 4 yo shouldn't be watching. He has gotten used to the background noise and is not that interested in it anymore. He continues to play on the carpet or does some other activity while the news is On. But yes, we need to be watchful about these things. When DH really insists, I ask him to watch whatever he wants on the Ipad.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 09/09/2016 12:31

Minesa I totally forgot about newsround (DC still on cbeebies) - thank you for the reminder!

Eolian · 09/09/2016 12:37

It's not the war coverage etc that bothers me so much, although it's horrible. I don't particularly like them hearing reports about child sex abuse cases though. And mine are considerably older than 4.

DreamingOfADifferentMe · 09/09/2016 12:38

Does anyone remember the tv programme A Child of Our Time? I watched it avidly as my son was the same age as the children they followed on the programme and one of the social 'experiments' they did with the group of children was around TV watching. They showed a cartoon and then carried out an activity, then they showed the same children a clip of the news (with some scenes of war, nothing gruesome but showing mild violence) and then carried out the same activity. This showed that when the children had seen acts of violence that weren't condemned, but reported very matter of fact, their ability to empathise diminishing really quickly. This has stayed with me ever since and as a result, my son is forever moaning that I won't allow him to watch certain programmes or play particular games. As a result, there is no way on earth I'd consider letting my other children, aged 4 and 5, watch the news. It breaks my heart at times, why would I expose their vulnerable hearts and brains to some of the atrocities that take place in the world?

Sgtmajormummy · 09/09/2016 12:56

Handmaid the other things I mention are adults' television that are just as unsuitable for preschoolers IMO. Why the Hmm face?

HandmaidsTail · 09/09/2016 13:11

Because we're talking about news and you've brought up porn and Jeremy Kyle as some kind of equivalent.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/09/2016 13:26

Possibly depends on which end of 4 he is. My 3.11 year old ignores the news and wouldn't really absorb any of it; but my 8yo, when he was 4, would have noticed and been distressed by some news stories.

So if your 4yo is the young end, then it might make no difference to him; but if he's nearer 5, then it might be distressing for him.

I don't try to keep the news in general away from my boys, but I certainly wouldn't let them watch it without monitoring, to try to make sure they don't see anything too distressing at this age. Plenty of time to wake up to the miseries in the world later, when they're better able to discuss and process it.

Sgtmajormummy · 09/09/2016 13:26

Handmaid I've just looked up what time Jeremy Kyle is on television. 9.25 am. A pretty common time for preschoolers to be watching, right? But not suitable viewing. Same scenario as OP.

HandmaidsTail · 09/09/2016 13:29

So what? We're talking about the news, which informs us about the world, not Jeremy Kyle which informs us about fuck all.

One has nothing to do with the other. Bringing up Jeremy Kyle isn't doing anything for your argument.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 09/09/2016 15:59

It's just making the point that just because it's pre watershed it doesn't mean it's appropriate.

BrainSurgeon · 09/09/2016 16:04

"The news isn't real life - it's a highly edited selection of events from real life, heavily biased towards the negative, violent, worst side of humanity. Because people aren't interested in good news." - that is so true.

This view of the world will terrify (or traumatize) sensitive kids and de-sensitize the rest.

Is that what we want?!?....

Nottsangel2015 · 09/09/2016 16:15

News is only on in our house when kids are in bed. I read the news online. When dd1 was 7 she was at her grandparents for the day and they had the news on and there was a story about a house fire that had killed the whole family. She came home petrified the house would burn down and we'd die! She was traumatised for months about it had nightmares and had to go to sleep with the light on and everything ! To this day (she's 11!) she is petrified of fire even the flame on the gas hob!
You anbu!! Especially with a 4 year old! X

MurphyDog5 · 09/09/2016 16:29

Half way through reading this thread I had an epiphany... When we were primary school age my dad always used to watch the news headlines, occasionally we would watch the programme in its entirety but more often than not he would change the channel. I've just phoned him & he has confirmed that yes he was censoring it. He said that my younger brother had seen a piece about the first war in Iraq & was terrified for weeks, after that my parents decided that while we were young they would talk to us about some of the more frightening things that were happening in the world at an age appropriate level. Once we got to high school age the news was back on again. Never realised until now that that was what they were doing.

MurphyDog5 · 09/09/2016 16:33

Hit post too soon... YANBU, the news today is often very graphic & could be quite troubling to a 4yo if there was no one around to explain what they were seeing.

theanswerisalwaysgin · 09/09/2016 16:33

It's horses for courses isn't it? Some kids are able to process what they see as news impartially, others can't. As the Mum of a child who developed Anxiety 2 years ago, we've been on a news blackout, primarily because DS10 couldn't tolerate hearing about terrorist attacks / ISIS on the radio, never mind the TV. Gotta say I'm happier for not listening to it either. Less to rant about and get in a huff about. I get my news fix via The Week magazine, newspaper websites and news app on my phone. Having had news on all the time and of the belief that it's part of life and we can't shelter them, I've now happily kicked it in the bucket. News coverage is scary and constant. Innocence and childhood is fleeting and precious. If I could wind back the clock and protect my son from it all, I would.