Midwife asked about abortion

[restofthetimes]

So the midwife at my booking asked about previous abortions/miscarriages. I said one previous abortion, when I was 17 - which she marked down, and then said "why"?

Do they have to ask that?

Just to add here that I recently had a booking appointment in one of the London hospitals and they asked me all these questions in front of my DH. Including abortion/miscarriage history/ FGM/ and also bizarrely about whether all was good at home / DV. They didn't have any one on one time with me without my partner present. So no guarantees that they'll see you privately without DP/DH at booking.

You don't have to take you DP or any one esle to any appointment s

Yes midwives have to ask. If she had said something along the lines of "was it for medical reasons or personal choice?" then that could have been interpreted as being judgy. Sadly it's very hard to word things on such sensitive subjects without potentially upsetting somebody.
Congratulations on your pregnancy

I think it's very relevant. if my DD had not survived, it would be noted as an abortion (miscarriage to laypeople) because she was born before 24 weeks so would not be noted as a stillbirth.

As a result I had injections to improve my next babies lung function.

I had a MW talk quite a lot about my termination at a booking in with my first DS. She was going on about me having terminated the pregnancy because I was worried that the baby had been affected by me taking drugs. This was not the case at all and I remember being quite worried that this incorrect information was in my medical notes. (She had read about it before my appt) That MW definitely made me feel judged and I never mentioned the termination at subsequent booking ins as it seemed irrelevant after having had live births.

If she HAD to ask she should have asked if there was a medical reason and given examples as to what they might be. This would make her asking more understandable. She should also have apologised for having to ask such an intrusive question. Otherwise she's a nosey bitch who should mind her own business.
For what it's worth I'm a Catholic but I believe in freedom of choice and always have.
Congratulations op

You do if your controlling DP won't let you out of the house without him summer.

It's down to the delivery Of how she says it.

At my booking in the midwife looked about 15 and trampled all the way through my personal history. It was awful and I actually felt quite upset when I came out.

I think some medical proffesionals need to remember they are actually talking to human beings and not ticking off a tick sheet.

There is actually a point in the booking in apt. Where the dp is asked to leave so the midwife can ask personal questions

bis that's really bad. that's very lazy midwifery

Actually DPs shouldn't be asked to leave so personal questions can be asked as if there are problems at home it can put the woman at risk.

It's better to say to the woman that she needs weighing/needs a new urine sample as a problem with the one she's brought, etc and take her out the room on a pretence and then ask her personal questions.

Teenage pregnancies actually have a higher proportion of genetic problems such as Downs. So the midwife may well have been trying to ascertain it wasn't such a problem. But she does sound like she could do with brushing up on her communication skills a bit.

I've had 5DC and never been asked that OP.

Ive not read all the replies so sorry if this has been said. She probably asked why in case it was due to some kind of abnormality in the pregnancy or a health concern that may mean you need extra scans to monitor babies development or if it was due to mental health issues they may offer you extra support this time, if it was due to age/circumstances then it doesn't really have an impact on this pregnancy so no further action is needed

I've had three dc and a previous abortion. Not once I have been asked why I had the abortion and I would not have responded well if I had.

This thread is pissing me off with all the bollocks "they have to ask why" answers. No, really, they do fucking not. And if for some bizarre reason they did, there are far better ways of asking than a blunt "why?"

But termination of pregnancy (as it is written in notes from my experience) for whatever reason is a significant medical procedure. Of course they need to know.

Why is it something we should be ashamed of and not discuss with medical professionals? I honestly don't see it as any different to the mental health questions they ask as well (also fairly intrusive questions)

Maybe I have a weird view but I expect medical questions and booking appointments to be pretty intrusive, they need as much information as possible in order to put a good care plan in place.

My termination for medical reasons entitled me to early and extra scans, more tests (had the pregnancy got that far) so yes, they did need to know.

I have had two kids and was asked at both booking in appointments.

I don't know why they can't ask 'how many times have you been pregnant'. If they then say 'have you got any other children... how many' they can work out how many pregnancies did not result in a live birth. And a 'what happened with those pregnancies' to the ones that did not result in a live birth would lead to the information needed ie miscarriage / abortion.

I'd imagine most midwifes in the overstretched NHS don't have time to do it the long way though.

Depending on the answer to "why?" You may get offered different treatments. Is that so difficult to understand. Really, no one is that interested in your history. Whatever history you have had, you can bet they have heard it before. You can imagine that you may get different response if you said oh it was cancerous to I'd didn't feel I could cope. Don't forget, people move so much more and notes are not always available from previous procedures.

nina I wouldn't ask a partner to leave the room at any appointment, if they are abusive then you are opening the women up to a barrage of questions and further abuse afterwards. Instead I take the opportunity to ask sensitive questions when I take her to get weighed or to the toilet.

She should also have apologised for having to ask such an intrusive question. Otherwise she's a nosey bitch who should mind her own business

Taking an obstetric history is part of the booking. Abortion is part of your obstetric history. Professional curiosity is part of a midwife's role. I haven't made that phrase up, it's a thing. Ive known midwives be reprimanded for not showing enough professional curiosity.

Many reasons for having an abortion could be relevent to a current pregnancy.

I'm with All and Nina- it's perfectly possible to medically necessary questions and be polite. Didn't it used to be called "good bedside manner"?

Increasingly, it is being proven that a patient feeling like they have been treated in a kind and humane way has an impact on medical outcomes,so I don't get the total disconnect some people have about why it's a good idea that medical professionals are nice and considerate to their patients.

I honestly can't remember if I was asked this at booking, but I do remember HV coming when DS was 10 days old and when she asked about the birth and I told her it was a planned c section, her first response was "why?" I wish now I had asked why she needed to know. I'm sure she did need to know but the way she asked was just one of many things she did to annoy me during that visit. YANBU OP.

Tiredtomybones the Mw probably wanted to know if there were medical issues which meant you needed an elasticated, not because she was being nosy.
As for the poster who said Mw would blab about someone's abortion in front of their Oh, when it is stated in the notes that discretion is needed, that scenario is very unlikely and would be a breach of confidentiality at the very least.