To find this ignorant

[whistlingtea]

I have an unusual name (and I know the way things go on here: I'm not going to disclose it!) It isn't a foreign name (not that that should make any difference) or hard to pronounce. It just isn't one frequently heard.

New people have recently joined the company.

They can't (apparently) get it right and their way around this is to call me any name that sounds vaguely similar. The most common one they've come up with is a pop singer with a slightly tarnished reputation but I've also been called two names that are not even close to mine (almost like someone introducing themselves as Annabel and being called Rebecca - because they 'hear' it incorrectly they come up with nicknames that are weird) and I've heard them saying to clients 'just call her ...'

IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING BANANAS.

My name has been a source of irritation all my life to be honest because people persist in using a very similar but still different one (think Isobel/Isabella) but this is beyond anything I've had before.

The worst thing is I really don't think they are intentionally being rude. They just genuinely seem incapable of getting it in their heads that not everyone is called Sarah or Clare or Becky or something.

There are no nicknames I can use that I'd want to.

AIBU, and what the hell can I do? I really don't want to spend the next however many months being referred to as a pop singer I don't even LIKE!

I don't think you're over reacting to feel miserable about this.
You have 3 options apart from violence

Refuse to answer/engage until they get it right.

Get a name badge made from Timpsons and wear it all week, when asked why-point at the perpetrators and explain they're struggling.

Call them by the wrong name. This works especially well if you choose a name like 'Beryl ' or 'Phyllis' for burly men called John, or 'Dave' for young pretty girls

This isn't acceptable in the workplace - if the above measures don't work, I would ask HR for advice.

Sugarcoma I wouldn't take her tweets too seriously. She makes up a lot of shit. Ever read the one where her ex white best friend sleep with her boyfriend so she sleeps with her white best friends white parents and constantly reminds us that they're white and she's not.

My father was know as "John" to my mother's relations because his (Swedish) namn was too hard. He didn't mind (because he was a prize eejit), he saw it as some form of fecking endearment.

I have a name that to Swedes (where I live) is just a random assortment of letters flung together that give no clue about pronunciation. I get that. I get all sorts of pronunciations, but I've always corrected people if they're too off. I accept mis-pronunciations within reasons, like that some sounds are hard to say in certain languages. For example, if I wore the Polish name Katarzyna I'd accept that Swedes can't pronounce the bit with the z and the y properly, and Katarshina would be good enough. That's ok. I'm also tolerant (because in my family we always have been), of pronouncing a name that is spelled the same in different languagues differently depending on the language - for example, Peter; different in English, Swedish, German ... but same spelling and same name.

That said ( after sharing stories), the only way to deal with your rude co-workers who are going out of their way to be obnoxious in true Old British (i.e. colonial) style is to call them different random names. Suggest Marmaduke and Gaylord.

YADNBU. I suffer too , always have and it is just rude to repeatedly get someones name wrong. For me it's just one letter yet people still get it wrong, like Nicole/Nicola , they're two totally different names. Even on emails etc I get it. When I introduce myself , I'll say my name and often people will immediately call me the wrong name. So bloody rude.

YANBU almost everyone pronounces my surname incorrectly. Fuck alone knows why as the version they say looks nothing like it and bears only passing phonetic resemblance. Why are people so lazy and ignorant with names? O worked with a Hungarian woman with a really easy to pronouce first and last name, which almost everyone insisted on Anglicising ( both parts)

Thanks :)

Unfortunately I don't honestly think it's bullying; I'm going to sound awful myself but I think they are just a bit thick and genuinely aren't used to names that are unusual.

No one has guessed it yet by the way

I did have a friend who changed her name: she was called Isolde (French mother) and just got so sick of being called I-sold. To be honest retrospectively I probably would change my name as well but I'm a bit old now

Correct them every time.

I've worked in the same company for years, my name is unisex but spelled different for male/female. They still write my name the male way and I still correct them.

Or... start calling them different names and when they say "actually my name is..." say "Oh well it sounds similar"

I wanted a different last name for years but now I don't. It's not my fault people can't say a perfectly simple English last name properly. And don't get me started on the all round racism - a white woman who sneeringly said "is that a Polish name" as if it was a crime, and an Asian delivery driver who looked at it and said "I'm not even go and try to pronounce that". FWIW the name is a mixture of vowels and consonants, contains no x or z and really isn't hard at all.

Nobody has linked to the Key and Peele sketch yet so I will:

A-A-RON

JAY-KWELLIN!!!

WHERE YOU AT JAY-KWELLIN

Tim o thee

Love that!!!

But how cool is the name a-a-Ron?!

I've tried to get my DH to find that sketch funny for years. He doesn't.

I bet it is Meriel.....lots of potential for randomness there....

It's not ...

Talk to HR and get them to email everyone explaining how to pronounce your name. Its not ok for them to say to clients 'just call her X'.

earthbound no sense of humour in him then I take it ;)

How are you getting on today, Whistling?

darn!

I don't work Wednesdays or Thursdays so all fine. Don't think we have HR.

It's weird how some people just don't care about getting people's names right.

I once had a colleague called Saphia* who our manager always called Sophia. One time he referred to her as Sophia I corrected him and he just shrugged and said. "Sophia, Saphia, does it matter?"

Incidentally that manager wasn't with us for long because he failed his probation.

*Name changed.

I had a colleague called Meri - do you think anyone didn't call her Mary??!!
How do you pronounce it?

This happened to me: joined a new firm, was introduced to everyone as [three syllable first name]. One person, Richard, always shortened my name despite daily correction. For the umpteenth time he greeted me with "Morning ???", to which I replied "If you keep calling me ???, I shall call you Dick". He never shortened my name again

I've had this too, some teachers even got it wrong despite having it written down on the register right in front of them. Once I'd left school, if people got it persistently wrong, seemed to make no effort to get it right, I started calling them any old thing. For example, I am Memoires so if you were to keep calling me Memories then I might start calling you Coffee, or Agatha, or possibly even Banana just because I felt like it.

I think you should call them all Rude Git, or RG.

and an Asian delivery driver who looked at it and said "I'm not even go and try to pronounce that"

How exactly is that racist?

Is your job one where you can volunteer to do a presentation at a team meeting (think of the career boost!). Introduce yourself, ostensibly to newcomers, with a tag to jog their memory. Eg say you're Tasmin and people always call you Tamsin, joke that people always struggle to remember it and add a pic of Taz the cartoon character. Or if you were Isabel not Isabella, put a pic of a bell. Keep it light and preferably a bit funny or self deprecating.