To find this ignorant

[whistlingtea]

I have an unusual name (and I know the way things go on here: I'm not going to disclose it!) It isn't a foreign name (not that that should make any difference) or hard to pronounce. It just isn't one frequently heard.

New people have recently joined the company.

They can't (apparently) get it right and their way around this is to call me any name that sounds vaguely similar. The most common one they've come up with is a pop singer with a slightly tarnished reputation but I've also been called two names that are not even close to mine (almost like someone introducing themselves as Annabel and being called Rebecca - because they 'hear' it incorrectly they come up with nicknames that are weird) and I've heard them saying to clients 'just call her ...'

IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING BANANAS.

My name has been a source of irritation all my life to be honest because people persist in using a very similar but still different one (think Isobel/Isabella) but this is beyond anything I've had before.

The worst thing is I really don't think they are intentionally being rude. They just genuinely seem incapable of getting it in their heads that not everyone is called Sarah or Clare or Becky or something.

There are no nicknames I can use that I'd want to.

AIBU, and what the hell can I do? I really don't want to spend the next however many months being referred to as a pop singer I don't even LIKE!

Well I totally empathise! I have a fairly uncommon name, which I've always loathed and detested incidentally, (ffs what were my parents thinking), but there are versions of it commonly used, which I hate even more!
Anyway, it has been misspelled, mispronounced and frankly turned inside out and upside-down all my (long) life. I'm at the point now, where I've given up correcting people, if someone calls my name incorrectly, more than once ......I simply don't answer!
Actually, as I've got older, this ploy applies to quite a lot of my life,....it's very liberating!

Well if you keep correcting them, you have tried joking and being stern a d none of those have worked then you are wrong and they are being rude you need to take it to HR or your manager, they will appreciate it as if they are only new and are that rude/thick and telling clients the wrong name too then they are probably not the type of people they would want working there anyway

There was a great Twitter post that I can't find now posted by an African American woman last year about how this guy at her company refused to say her name properly and just said something like 'I'll just call you Jane instead'. To which, at every opportunity, she then called him by the wrong name (e.g. Leslie when his name was John or something). Then other people began doing it and he soon stopped pretty quickly....

PS: I guess your name is Briony, and you get called Brittany?!

main - not mane - oops!

*By 'stopped' I mean he learnt her name pretty quickly...

You can go with that if you want Wd as I know it's hard without a concrete example.

I found her Tweets! usuncut.com/black-lives-matter/black-woman-ridicules-racist-white-coworker/

I used to get this and I ignored them. Completely blanked them until they were polite and said my name correctly. Worked wonders.

If you've tried almost anything, then I'd start calling them random names.
Or don't answer to what they call you.

But, the briony/Britney thing is more like:

'Buh, Buh, Buh, oh, uh, whatsshecalledagain- Britney?'
'Briony.'
Client 'Brian?'
'Just say Ida!'
No, it's BRIONY!

They need to know that it seriously fucks you off. Next time look them in the eye and very sharply say "That isn't my name. My name is XXXX"

You have my sympathy. I have similar Name Issues. My real name has several ss and is an accepted abbreviation of a longer name (think 'Tessa' - for that, dear reader, is what it is) so I accept the odd error.

But certain type of person immediately insists on shortening it to Tess - over many years I have noticed these people are mostly patronising gits. (Often saying things like "oh like Tess of the D'Urbervilles" to which I answer "I hope not - have you actually read the book?")

Other people decide to call me Teresa. I could understand this except it still happens in writing - even when my email signature is Tessa Surname and my email address is [email protected] and my business name is Tessa Surname.

AAGH.

My name is mispronounced all the time.

I just shrug it off now. But I do appreciate that it's annoying!

My friend's ds solved this one when he was about 7. One of the school staff kept calling him by the wrong name and he kept correcting him to no avail. Finally he called him back by the wrong name (ie school staff was Joe and he said "Hi Frank"). School staff immediately corrected him and then he said, well my name isn't ..... and after that he never called him by the wrong name again.

I completely understand your irritation. My name is Sofia (notice my very subtle User Name) and people are forever trying to call me Sophie or misspell my name with a PH. I very politely, but firmly correct them immediately regardless of who they are or what the situation is. I don't understand why people feel entitled to shorten or abbreviate someone's name without permission. I might ask someone with a difficult to pronounce name to teach me how to pronounce it. And if they use a hint (like rhymes with), that can be helpful.
I do feel for my kids sometimes....there are a lot of "made up" (ie not from the bible and not passed down culturally) and unique names at their school and it's sometimes difficult to keep track of how each of them is meant to be pronounced/spelled. In some countries you have to name your child from a list of (usually) biblical names. When I registered my dd with the Italian Consulate, they wouldn't put down her middle name because it is a "last name" and therefore not allowed. (Note that my experience has been that every Italian Consulate in the world has its own set of rules...much like the hill towns before the unification of Italy).

Until a couple of years ago, I was really arsey if someone spelt my name wrong. My name isn't normally spelt like it is but my parents named me after a specific children's illustrator which is spelt differently to the more common spelling.

All my life, people, including some of my family members, have spelt it wrong. It really pissed me off but more recently, I just can't be bothered to say. I do still grimace if I see it written wrongly though.

If I were you at work, I'd either send them a round robin email and tell them in a jokey way or talk to your manager and ask how to change what they're doing. Perhaps they could talk to staff on your behalf? It would annoy me though.

The thing about a name is that although it is personal to us we do not own it in the same way that we do not own any word in the language.

I may call my child X but to every other person who knows the word X it means something to them, is pronounced by them in a way that they know and comes with its own set of cultural and linguistic associations. (Some people are still rude - I just wanted to say that)

Don't answer to it. Completely blank them when they use the wrong name.

Op (hangs head). If you have an unusual name unless you clearly said it to me several times when i first meet you and i repeated it back to you....i will incorrectly say your name. Its the only bit of my dyslexia, slight hearing problem (corrected in childhood) thats noticeable and i hate it. 😢 Please break the name down for people like me and im sorry if i said it wrong.

Yanbu as i hate it when people spell my name wrong.

Mine is an unusual but classical name - so Greek originally.

It has an e that works like the ones in phoebe - so mostly I'm called the equivalent of feeb instead of feebee, which is a different name entirely or occasionally feeba, which is yet another different name.

And yep no-one can spell it either, even though it's in my email address, the reply is to someone else.

I answer to anything vaguely right because I know people don't do it on purpose, but it's actually really annoying...and I like my name, I don't want to change it or use a nickname (not that it lends itself to one anyway) I just want people to call me by my name.

Tulisa/Talisa?

Either way, I share your pain. I have a very ordinary name, rather 80's, and it's spelt with a y instead of an i. I've even been known to say, yeah, 80's baby. People will automatically spell with an i.

Otherwise I get, oh is it short for X? No.

Have you got one person in work who could maybe say something like "Goodness you are here a whole month, I can't believe your still calling Whistling the wrong name.her name is " insert name here"!!!

I'm thinking Siobhan and Sinead?
Yes, it's rude. Just don't respond.

purple Tessa is a beautiful name

OP I go with ignoring them. And when they get pissed off, just say 'Look, my name is Morwenna. MOR-WENN-A. I'll answer you when you can do me the courtesy to use my actual name, not Matilda. And if you've got a problem with that, take it to HR.'

They won't.