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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To realise that joining Mumsnet is quite scary

104 replies

Choosparp · 06/09/2016 22:31

..and seems to involve lots of "in jokes" and acronyms that newbies won't get. I was active 10 years ago when DS1 was born, then left for ages because I had another baby then my husband died. Coming back this last few weeks for support of my SEN DS2 (see! I get the lingo still!) I feel like an outsider. I'm 43, widowed, remarried, have a successful job. SEN channel has been fab, but I don't think I will join the main threads. SN is fab. Other threads seem to be so mean in places. Why are we narking at each other? FFS.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choosparp · 06/09/2016 23:34

Got the message Memoires, thank you. Will stick with other boards. No need for this kind of confrontation. Wouldn't have posted if I'd realised the aggro.

OP posts:
FurryDogMother · 06/09/2016 23:35

MN is a venue, not a person. Some people who post here are confrontational, some are just rude - but the vast majority aren't either of those things. I'm not, I'm lovely :)

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 06/09/2016 23:35

Course you wouldn't OP - wouldn't want to be a GF or anything Hmm

Posters have explained to you nicely why you are getting this reaction but I imagine that with that attitude you will find it fairly common Grin

justdontevenfuckingstart · 06/09/2016 23:36

There are no rulers or bitches. I supported you very early on but you totally ignored it. So it is not a closed group at all.

CatThiefKeith · 06/09/2016 23:37

Op don't leave, stay, be nice, help turn the tide.

MN can be a scary place at times and there are some less than pleasant posters, but they are In The minority, and there is still plenty of laughter and support, you just have to look a bit harder.

I'm sorry you've had a hard few years, and hope things improve.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 06/09/2016 23:38

Oh and does anyone remember Simba the kitten with the crocheted hats so he looked like a lion and a bee etc? That was a lovely thread Grin

justinelibertine · 06/09/2016 23:43

This is wgy I love you lot!! Grin

justinelibertine · 06/09/2016 23:44

And am slightly drunk. I meant why!!!

WorraLiberty · 06/09/2016 23:44

Regarding the 'in jokes', 'acronyms' and 'feeling like an outsider'...

We were all new once. We all felt like that once.

You either stick with it or you don't.

But if you don't, and you join a different chat site as a newbie, you'll still feel like an outsider until you find your feet.

You can't rock up somewhere as a newbie and then complain about feeling new.

WankingMonkey · 06/09/2016 23:45

hands OP a bun

Join us, come over to the dark side...

Original poster
Choosparp · 07/09/2016 00:07

Sorry for causing a fight. It's really not my thing. Life is too short. But MN can be intimidating. I get it now that I should stick to my own issues and avoid AIBU. I came for support, not an argument. Should have steered clear of this channel. Sorry.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/09/2016 00:09

So intimidating that you waded in with an arsey OP to tell everyone you weren't going to post anywhere because we are all horrible? Okay...

thewalkers · 07/09/2016 00:10

If AIBU is too scary or just not your thing,then stay off AIBU..it's not that hard Hmm

Original poster
Choosparp · 07/09/2016 00:11

I never said anyone was horrible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choosparp · 07/09/2016 00:11

I will.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/09/2016 00:12

You accused people of bullying and being mean

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2016 00:14

How anyone can be 'scared' of an anonymous internet forum is beyond me.

But if anyone is (and I've seen a few over the years say they are), surely you just log off and never log on to it again?

PerspicaciaTick · 07/09/2016 00:15

MN hasn't changed that much in 10 years. AIBU was a bear pit back then. The acronyms are much the same.
It will come flooding back to you.
You can hide the bits you don't like - including whole Topics.
(but Topics have never been called Channels)

TheLambShankRedemption · 07/09/2016 00:16

On the contrary OP, you're being such a GF that you fitted in immediately.

Livia I loved the kitten knitting Grin

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/09/2016 00:18

Things to do when starting to post again on a website:

1 Start a thread about how nasty the site has become

2 Annouce you won't be posting on main boards

3 When pulled on the irony of you slagging the site off, go into full on victim mode and accuse other people of bullying

4 Change tack partway through and claim you meant something different

5 Deny everything

6 Flounce

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 07/09/2016 00:18

LambShank I actually joined Instagram especially to follow Simba - he was so adorable Grin

ChoosparpTheFlounce · 07/09/2016 10:38

Lesson learned - don't post anywhere when you've had an over-emotional day and half a bottle of wine and perspective has gone out the window.

I honestly didn't mean to offend - reading it now I can see how my OP got people's backs up. Then things move so fast on these threads you miss (and misinterpret) things.

I've never flounced before, and as flouncings go that was pretty drama queen. Do I get a prize? Blush

I'm not sure of the biscuit etiquette but would like to offer a conciliatory one if that's acceptable use of baked goods. (And can someone tell me what GF is?)

Yorkieheaven · 07/09/2016 10:41

its quite funny op because you posted so aggressively and Boone has been aggressive back.

never mind better luck next time dear.

Yorkieheaven · 07/09/2016 10:44

Ah guilty of X posting and see your latest.

GF is a goady fucker which you sounded in your op. A trouble maker.

However seems not Wine can be death to posting so cheer up and usually best to name change and start again. Grin

ChoosparpTheFlounce · 07/09/2016 10:45

I think I'll lay low for a bit...