To realise that joining Mumsnet is quite scary

[Choosparp]

..and seems to involve lots of "in jokes" and acronyms that newbies won't get. I was active 10 years ago when DS1 was born, then left for ages because I had another baby then my husband died. Coming back this last few weeks for support of my SEN DS2 (see! I get the lingo still!) I feel like an outsider. I'm 43, widowed, remarried, have a successful job. SEN channel has been fab, but I don't think I will join the main threads. SN is fab. Other threads seem to be so mean in places. Why are we narking at each other? FFS.

Well, I'm glad we've cleared that up, op .

Thank you fir letting us know but you're as welcome here as everybody else is.

If you post the way you have you will. I'll leave you to carry on trying to pick a fight.

Have you read the other posts? People have pointed out that coming in and slagging us off is goady as fuck and the only reason for doing so is to provoke a negative reaction. Are you struggling to understand that?

Post wherever the hell you want - I just don't understand why you would start a thread complaining about us and then act all surprised when we reply and saying you won't be in the main boards. most people only post on certain boards anyway.

And in every post you have mentioned the SN board and other parents. It isn't just parents on here, as I mentioned before.

Perhaps you should start a 'why would non parents join MN' thread, those always go down well

I'm with you OP and I'm a regular.

Many threads baffle me. The in jokes make me feel a bit too.

It's a bit like being back at school. There's the popular posters, the cool posters, the bully posters... there's also some lovely people on here too.

I'd like to write a comment on some threads asking 'WTF is this thread about?' but wouldn't dare. I just steer clear of them.

Are you me OP? I have been on MN for nearly 8 years and name changed, lurked, posted voraciously, gone cold turkey (is it ever a time bandit!!) Came on today following a horrible incident when I was stuck at work and needed some perspective before I imploded and the first 7/8 responses were goady, mean spirited and generally unhelpful. MN has been a real help over the years and usually fun and supportive... The negativity I received at 4.30pm on a Tuesday afternoon was not really what I was expecting tbh and your post voices my surprise perfectly. I suppose the popularity of the site and the "newsworthiness" of each thread is now gearing people to respond in a certain way... cry troll, resting face, immediate profile searching and discrediting posters if possible. There's no levity anymore... you said xxx in 2009 you can't possibly change your opinion now... Ho hum I suppose I will also have to retreat back to Chat instead of playing up here with the big mean girls who just don't do "nice".

TBH, AIBU has gone a bit nuts. But most of the rest of the site is fine. Most websites do have in-jokes, but nobody's going to lambast you for not understanding one. In fact there are quite often threads saying stuff like "WTF is sharon and the wall??" and along the way most of the jokes will be explained, with links to classics etc.

Other than that I don't think it's that different a place to 10 years ago. 10 years ago it was a lot more strict on stuff like "lol" and "hugs" - these days there are just so many posters that they go unnoticed much of the time.

If you don't know where to start on MN you can get blasted out of the water
Can I respectfully suggest that starting by posting a thread telling everyone that you won't be posting any further because they're all bastards and you'll never be able to break into their exclusive club is a bleeding obvious well known way to get blasted out of the water? And given that it is so bleeding obvious, you were intentionally being a goady fucker?

Anyway, bye...

Yes Op you can but you turn it around too, I think be and Liv have. (will call her that cos we're besties now. You just have to come in here. Come back Choos

Op, I'm sorry you've been through such an horrendous time. I really am.

On the other hand, you're being very silly. I joined when my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I was trying to rescue my niece, with SN, from an abusive situation, and the subsequent loss of my husband. Posters have been fantastically supportive.

They've also been funny, rude, nasty, arrogant, smug, delightful, witty, supportive fuckers and I love the lot of them. The differences in them is what makes MN so brilliant. If I was aloud to say cunt, fuckers, arse, I might as well join, whispers them ones, over there

Welcome back. Grab a bag of popcorn and come on in. You'll get a lovely warm welcome, so warm, in fact, that you might get roasted.

Proved my point I think. The instinctive response is to bitch at me. Someone above said "confrontational seems to be almost the default conversational style around here these days."

Then

"Yep, why come to moan about us at us?"

It's clearly a closed group. I'm going back to my widow network - MN is far too bitchy and judgemental. I was trying to make a point about newbies feeling insecure but you just railed against me. I will miss the SN support, but hopefully find the good people through other channels.

The rest of you, get off your effing high horses.To the Rulers of MN good luck. To everyone else, rely on your real friends.

It's the Internet so anyone can actually post anything.

Been in mumsnet for 10 years plus and been flamed, helped, supported and told to get s grip in equal measure.

Mumsnet is great.

Some mumsneters meet up I'm RL and are friends so you would Exocet them to support each other. However most just post what they think and remain anonymous.

Can't think why you would post so aggressively though op.

Oops. Allowed not aloud. I may be slightly drunk.

Me too poverty and I love you for sticking up for me when I was under an old name. Fellow lush.

And whatever you do OP, don't ask a question about sex. Even in the sex thread! They'll call troll for sure, rally together and take the piss...

Oh just read your last post.

Off you go then.

Need a yawn bored ikon.

YY to real life crossover - my RL friends are all from one of the ongoing threads on here - we message every day and meet up, so we may be cliquey but we can actually be supportive

Way to pick your audience, OP!

I've had my fair share of flamings on here but I've also experienced incredible kindness.

Wherever you post on here, for the love of god do NOT mention greggs sausage rolls.

I still don't know what the problem is with them but any mention of them descends into chaos..on any part of the site

You're very welcome Myred chin chin

Wanking Ooh that reminds me of the posters whose children have never heard of fizzy drinks despite being 28 years old and only eat organic quinoa as they have no idea that sugar exists