Party invite dilema

[nogrip]

My DS is having his 6th birthday party in a few weeks and we are compiling the list of kids he wants to invite as I need to get invitations out soon.

He wants to invite all the boys in his class - fine - except one boy who he doesn't like' because he fights'. This boy has some additional needs ie he has trouble sitting still in class, is behind the other kids in his learning. I don't know exactly what the additional needs are, but he needs a lot of supervision. (Just some background info)

I want him to invite the boy as he will feel awful if he realises hes the only one left out. Hes only 5, but I can see him getting left out of all friendship groups, and this will make it worse. Also I will feel dreadful seeing his Mum at school, and her very possibly knowing her son is the only one not invited. I know I would be gutted for my son if it happened to him.

I have enough adults coming that he can be 'looked after' and not ruin games etc by running about and not listening to the rules etc, so do I invite him even though my son doesn't want him there?

Am really confused and unsure what to do, AIBU to ask him anyway?

Jock. That mother not did not invite the one child to to his additional needs. Theres a phrase for idiots like that. Disablist.
The spiteful cunt. You don't exclude children because they're different from your little "Poppets"
Well done for making a stand. What a horrible example she is.

Thumbwitches - yes, I know it is. It was/is very difficult and obviously won't go into much detail but yes, there are a lot of incidents around this child and the parents are a lot less forgiving/understanding than the children.

Agree with NapQueen and others.

I say to mine you either invite all the class or all the boys or all the girls or half of the group. So DD has 12 girls in her class so either invites all the girls or half of them etc.

I would say you can't exclude one child, however we had a similar situation when DS was turning 6. We had a class party, although he didn't ask to exclude anyone, but the boy who was a horror (no SN though) came and was vile. He punched the entertainer, was hanging off the entertainers expensive equipment, was rude to me and generally acting up etc. He had been dropped off too which we all realised his parents did every time or they got someone else to take him, at another party he badly bit another parent. Thankfully he left the school but his invites would have dried up if he had stayed and I wouldnt have apologised for it.

Would you leave a single work colleague our becsuse they had a disability/learning difficulty/other medical condition?

Many people do, if not by a lack of invitation then by choosing places where attendance is unsafe/inaccessible/impractical.

I think you're doing the right thing op, but make sure your son feels his concerns have be heard and reassure him that any situations will be managed.

HarryPotter I don't blame party invites drying up for that kind of situation, people probably would have smaller parties and not invited him, which is fine.

Glad you are going to invite the child with sn

Agree it's invite all or invite 4/5