There are 2 bats in my bedroom

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

WTF do I do??

2 bats are doing laps of my bedroom ceiling.

DH is unconcerned.

I have retreated to the bathroom.

Oh fuck.

Open the windows and hope the breeze attracts them. My friend had a pigeon commit suicide last week by flying into an open window that opened outwards fully.

Aren't they flying rats? But possibly protected? I would be shitting it

Once they cling to the ceiling, treat them as a spider. No, leave the hoover. Put a pudding basin big glass over them, slide a magazine or book over the rim and get rid of the buggers.

Shut your bedroom door, turn on your lights and open the windows as wide as you can. Hopefully the seek out the dark

DH is unconcerned?!
Bats are a fair bit bigger than moths! I wouldn't be able to sleep with them flying around.

Hmm. Don't know. A fishing net to try to eject the little critters?

Move house.

Burn the house down. It's the only way now.

Wide open window and hope they get out. I had this though years ago and our windows fully open so huge 4ftx4ft gap and it still didn't go out. It ended up roosting on the smoke alarm and then fell off and was crawling along the floor. We picked it up at that point under instructions from the local BatMan and put it in a shoe box with some water and a dishcloth hanging down the inside of the box. Batman came and got it the next day.

Open the windows all the way up and hope they fly out? Catch them in a sheet? Don't hurt them, bats are awesome and I think possibly a protected species.

No to the fishing net, it can damage their wings.

When I had this I rang the RSPCA (I think it was) who advised catching them in a towel. They are tiny and non-hazardous though they did make a noise in distress once in the towel. Released back to the wild and as far as I know, non the worse.

If you are going to kill them you'd better keep quiet about it as they are protected - but they really aren't the horrible vermin people make out - and certainly not like flying rats (although they are rodents)

DH is fully awake now and is prancing around with a towel.

Oh holy shit.

Just remember they are protected - no bloodshed (well, not theirs at any rate)

I'd be in there taking photos and having a humanist naming cermony. I'm awfully soppy about little critters.

Please don't kill them

Bats are awesome creatures and need as much help as they can get

If they don't leave by themselves, I'd call these people: www.bats.org.uk/index.php

I'm sorry, I am laughing so hard. Open the window and get DH to shoo them out with a broom.

How did they get in?

Look at them!! Aren't they so cute

if you have to handle them then make sure you have gloves....they can carry rabies!

I'd open the window and hope for the best, I'd be scared to catch one in case of hurting it.

How did they get in??

Bats are lovely and protected. Normally no need to be scared by them, although wouldn't want them in my house.
Just be very careful not to get a bite if you are planning to get close to them to get them out.
I would probably shut them in,with windows wide open and spend the night somewhere else. They will go eventually

I bloody love bats. Incredible little creatures. Don't harm them.

Oh no this happened to me before. We eventually got it under a towel amd out the window. Not we, ex-dp, i lay screaming under the blanket.

What tondelay said.

Even in the uk, they may carry rabies. Do NOT handle them. Open a window.

So far only 13 bats out of 13,000 have tested positive to rabies. So the chance of them having rabies is slim

Bats in the UK and rabies

A small number of bats in the UK have been found to carry EBLV, a rabies virus. There are two known strains: EBLV1 and EBLV2.

In the UK, 13 bats have been found with EBLV2: 10 in England, two in Scotland and one in Wales (one of these cases was confirmed through active surveillance work, the other 12 through a passive surveillance programme). All were Daubenton's bats.

Three bats have tested positive for EBLV1 antibodies: a serotine in the south of England and two Natterer's bats in Scotland. The presence of antibodies indicates past exposure to the virus but not the presence of live virus.

The Animal & Plant Health Agency has tested over 13,000 UK bats since 1986 for EBLV through its passive surveillance programme and only 12 bats have been found with EBVL2 and none with EBLV1. These bats have been sent in by members of the public and bat workers.

Further active surveillance research by the Department of the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), the Scottish Executive and Scottish Natural Heritage found just one bat, which tested positive for EBLV2, taking the total to 13 bats (all Daubenton's bats). Details can be obtained from the Bat Helpline (0345 1300 228).

The presence of EBLV in bats in the UK does not affect the UK's rabies free status

It's pigeons that are known as rats with wings.

We're on holiday in rural France. I promise we won't harm them but seriously fuck fuckety fuuuuuck!