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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider killing DH?

142 replies

AWishAndADream · 05/09/2016 22:03

DH has a chocolate obsession. We've been together 4 years and I've never not know him go a day without eating it. He really doesn't care what kind, he'll eat it if it's chocolate.

It's one of the most annoying things about him because when he wants it he will eat whatever he can find, even if it's mine or DDs.

I've tried several things to keep chocolate to myself as I don't eat it everyday and neither does DD; a tin that all the chocolate in is mine and DDs which he's not allowed to touch or eat, setting an allowance for chocolate weekly within our budget which he always spends, and even buying a limited amount of chocolate each day and giving him that. Nothing works.

So we made the rule that he could eat anything available in the supermarket locally but he had to replace it, including going to the shop and buying it himself out of his own money. This seemed to be working.

Until today.

A friend of my mums has just come back from Florida and she went to Harry Potter World. I hardly know the woman but she brought back a chocolate frog for my daughter, which I was extremely grateful as I wasn't expecting it. I was given it after my DD was in bed so put the frog in the cupboard to be given to her tomorrow and the next day and the next day after that and the next day after that. I told DH it was DDs and he was not to eat it.

Guess what he's gone and eaten? The chocolate frog. Grr

I'm gutted, apparently we had no other chocolate in and he didn't want to wake DD to go to the shop to get some. I was working until 9.15pm (home at 9.30).

AIBU to kill him and his chocolate obsession once and for all?

OP posts:
WhatTheActualFugg · 05/09/2016 23:10

What a nasty piece of work. He needs help. Of the professional variety. This isn't normal.

Oh, and now you've got to tell your mum your selfish DH ate the frog so she doesn't ask your DD about it. Wonder how that'll go down.

WizardOfToss · 05/09/2016 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 05/09/2016 23:11

You sound slightly sort of jokey and resigned about this, why the hell are you not tearing this selfish self obsessed nasty bastard a new arsehole?!

That isnt "fancying a bit of chocolate" that "FUCK YOU DAUGHTER, I WANT THIS AND I DONT GIVE TWO SHINY SHITES THAT ITS YOURS"

The man is a complete cunt and I bet if you are completely honest with yourself you can come up with umpteen other examples of his selfishness that do not involve chocolate. Its his way of pissing all over your lives and saying "Whats yours is mine and to hell with you"

SoapAlert · 05/09/2016 23:12

Am I the only one pmsl, I can see myself in your DH!

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2016 23:15

What's funny about eating a present from someone else to your own child soap?

Alibobbob · 05/09/2016 23:16

Shut some chocolate laxative, take the paper wrapper off, leave it on the counter top or in the cupboard.

Sit back and wait -hide the toilet paper-

Bogeyface · 05/09/2016 23:16

Unless of course this is a reverse and you are wondering how bad you should feel. In which case....pretty much what I said in my pp!

xexxsy · 05/09/2016 23:17

Thanks everyone for the group hug.

Fukken stupid thread but there are lots of people buying the dream of death by chocolate. lol.

I am having a laugh here TBH. With no malice aforethought.

Such a weird thread. Not being sucked into something odd either, but enjoying the posts. With a big smile. First world problems indeed.

Bogeyface · 05/09/2016 23:18

soap pissing yourself at the thought of taking things, over and over again, from other people because of your own greed, including a gift that was brought from another country for your child?

This isnt "oh dear I accidentally ate the kids easter eggs, better buy some more", which is pathetic enough frankly, it is deliberate and meanly taking something that cannot be replaced by nipping to Tesco.

Doggity · 05/09/2016 23:20

Eating a child's present is shit. What an arse.

EverySongbirdSays · 05/09/2016 23:24

I am someone who is honest about the fact I am addicted to sugar, chocolate being the preference. Have recently got back on the diet horse.

Not even I would do this. It is petty and small, and not the behaviour of an adult/parent. The fact that it was a specific not easily replaced gift being the main issue.

Is there a reason your DH might feel he "needs" it, such as serotonin issues, or used to be a smoker and has substituted?

I dare say OP that you are not married with 1 child, you're a single mother of two.

SpookyPotato · 05/09/2016 23:24

I am the biggest chocolate addict going, when I'm in binge mode I can destroy a fuck ton of it daily.. But I would never do this. This is selfishness and no thought for other peoples belongings... His own daughter! Wonder if he could replace from ebay?

EttaJ · 05/09/2016 23:26

Horrible thing to do and the sort of behavior you'd expect from a child. I'd be fuming too and he would know about it. I love the laxative chocs idea.

xexxsy people that write first world problems on these threads are so fucking dull.

Queenbean · 05/09/2016 23:30

I think "he needs a hug" is the equivalent of the angry parking thread where some poster came on and said "give her a creme egg"

Which ironically would be massively helpful in this situation

5OBalesofHay · 05/09/2016 23:30

Stealing is wrong. He doesn't need a hug. He needs to learn some respect

xexxsy · 05/09/2016 23:31

Etta J

"At last, my love has come along"!

Hope you get that (Etta James) great song.

I'm so fucking dull though I am sure I got that wrong!

xexxsy · 05/09/2016 23:33

The man has been neglected. He needs love.

He can only get that through chocolate.

There is something missing in his life. Poor man.

StrangeLookingParasite · 05/09/2016 23:34

Greedy selfish shit.

augustusglupe · 05/09/2016 23:38

Having just read through your post OP killing him sounds perfectly reasonable to me!!

xexxsy · 05/09/2016 23:39

augustus

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!

Nice way to go just the same.... wink.

NameChange30 · 05/09/2016 23:40

QueenBean Grin

xexxsy With all due respect, dear, you sound like you're on a different planet from the rest of us. But if you're so concerned for the poor neglected man, why don't you give him a hug? How about a blow job for good measure?

The poor menfolk always deserve blow jobs don't they. Especially the ones who steal from their children.

memyselfandaye · 05/09/2016 23:42

Buy a bar of Ex-lax, remove the wrapper so he does'nt know what it is, then when he's sitting on the toilet shitting through the eye of a needle for a couple of days he can think about what his greed has done to him.

xexxsy · 05/09/2016 23:49

Funny when someone hits the mark, the hordes descend to vilify as not being one of the "Sisters", or the nodding posters all saying the same thing.

Sorry if I have my own voice.

Anyway, I am being tongue in cheek here. This is an hilarious and ridiculous thread that does nothing for women dealing with a chocolate addiction on behalf of their husband/partner.

I hope the frog is OK.

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2016 23:56

This sort of greed really pisses me off.

I know some people get all giggly and a giddy over chocolate and cake on Mumsnet and it's all hilarious etc.

That much is apparent by the amount of threads at Easter, by parents asking if its OK to eat their kid's Easter eggs, and the amount of 'backslapping' replies telling them to go for it.

But I grew up with friends who learned very quickly that self regulating with chocolate/sweet gifts, meant losing them to greedy parents and siblings.

So instead of being able to leave these things in the fridge and eat a little bit whenever they fancied, they soon learned they had to eat it all in one sitting, or their parents/siblings would simply take it.

I don't know how old your DD is, but your DH needs to start acting like an adult and ask himself what gives him the right to do this.

I'm pretty sure he wouldn't get away with taking other people's food at work, so what gives him the right to take yours and his daughter's?

QueenLizIII · 06/09/2016 00:02

It all sounds very weird that this has become such an issue. He eats too much chocolate but this sounds even weirder:

I've tried several things to keep chocolate to myself as I don't eat it everyday and neither does DD

Do you need to keep chocolate in the house for the off chance that you want a bit?

And this:

So we made the rule that he could eat anything available in the supermarket locally but he had to replace it, including going to the shop and buying it himself out of his own money.

He has to replace every bit he has eaten again, in case you might want a bit? What if it was a man saying this to a woman? Can neither of you wait when you want a bit of chocolate? Confused

The chocolate frog can be ordered for £8.95. He buys her another one. Simple.