To ask you all

[shopaholic999]

..what's the most embarrassing/funny/stupid thing you have done while under the influence of too much alcohol.

I am suffering with a dose of beer fear after a heavy session that are very rare and few and far between. I don't get out much but when I do, I don't know when to stop! And I am now getting flash backs of embarrassing things I've said and done and could do with cheering up and I'm hoping I can rely on you fellow MNers.

And yet you aren't sharing any of yours...?

On a trip to Amsterdam with my best mate I tried to drink my Jack and Coke through what I thought was a straw. After numerous attempts to suck it up and me becoming more and more confused as to why the straw wouldn't work, my friend broke down laughing. He let me carry on for a few more seconds before he explained it was a drink stirrer and not a straw.

Doesn't seem funny now but when you're already half cut it was absolutely hilarious.

A group of us back to an acquaintances flat after being out

Two of us decide to go for Pizza and go back into the flat, we'd been sitting on the couch for about ten minutes when someone we've never seen before came into the living room.

After a strange start to the conversation, we ask "where's so-and-so", they answered "who?" and then proceeded to have a full on drunken argument that this person was trespassing and was trying to rob the place, until our acquaintance over heard and came and took us into the flat opposite.

The neighbour joined us for a drink and laughed about it.

I tend do do very dangerous stuff when drunk (like sleep under bushes).

Which newspaper is this for?

Soupdragon..I did expect that to be mentioned but I am still so embarrassed by it 8 years down the line but for fairness, I will share.

It's got to be the time me and now DH went out to the pub all day (pre children), only to wake up in the morning having realised I'd pissed the bed...with DH led next to me.. I haven't told anyone that before and I'm currently sat pretty Crimson right now!

You are basically asking us to entertain you without the hassle of you sharing any stories of your own? That's like people saying 'discuss' at the end of a post.

X post

Livia..promise this is purely for my own recovery from a heavy night out. Some posts on here have had me in stitches and it's just what I need right now.

I really was too embarrassed to share, just in case no one replied.

yuk

Oh donkey get over yourself. Its not great but it happened just once, and we've all done embarrassing things whilst drunk. I once had a few drinks on new antidepressants (big no no but i was young and dumb) which led to me shitting myself with no warning. That really was yuk, but its a body function and these things happen, I've learnt my lesson just as op has learnt hers. At least she shared

Iambubbles..thanks for that..I did notice that yuk and slunk off shamefully. Glad to hear it's not just me

Walking back home from a night out with girls, mid 90's I'm feeling old thought it would be nice to take chinese home for my bf (now dh), so negotiating the pavements, next thing I knew I was flat on my face in the gutter suddenly being helped up by a lovely bloke who took me up to his flat nearby to clean up my wounds and phone dh..clinging on to my take away I gratefully let him take control of the situation while insisting he looked like one of the Bee Gee's (Barry) !! and waffling on about all sorts of crap..poor bloke didn't know what hit him!
All's well that ends well, i got picked up, we had a good laugh about it but the next morning....oh my god the embarrasment - and I left my take away behind...

New Year's Eve 4 years ago, got a taxi home, fell out of taxi, the driver helped me to my door and offered to unlock the door for me, I insisted I was fine. Couldn't see straight to get key into door, woke up at 6ish on doorstep to find I had scratched all my wooden front door attempting to put key into lock.

When I was 14 I got mortally drunk for the first time with my friends and wet my pants. I remember lying on the grounds feeling the happiest I've ever felt in my life and thinking it would be a great idea to just pee where I was lying as it would help the grass grow (having recently learned of all of the nutrients left over in pee pee) When we went back to school the next week and the story got around I insisted it was just spilt drink. But nope, I definately wet my pants that day.

I'm not even sorry it happened, I learned a valuable lesson about alcohol and I never drank out of control again in my life, in fact I've been almost teetotal since 22 except special occasions.

I have a few other panty wetting stories but unfortunately I wasn't drunk for those. Just post partum.

I knew I could rely on others to cheer me up!

The saving grace from this weekends shenanigans was all done in a city far from where I live so there's no chance of anyone finding out.

I went to DP's friend's house party when we first started seeing each other (I was 21).

I drank way more than I was used to, and began to feel lightheaded, so got myself up to go to the bathroom. I spewed brown frothy vomit all over the bottom of the stairs, and up the walls.

I was then helped upstairs whilst DP cleaned the mess, sat on the toilet and pissed through my knickers I'd failed to pull down.

Was a long time before I went there again.

Many years ago at a teenage party in a nearby village hall, there was a queue for the two ladies' loos and I couldn't figure out why as one was empty. I barged in (full of cider and desperate for a wee) and realised that the light bulb had gone in the empty cubicle, I (probably quite vocally) couldn't believe that everyone was queueing rather than using the cubicle without a light bulb, and as I was shutting myself in I couldn't figure out why everyone was shouting at me and taking such offence until I realised there was someone on the floor and I was trampling on them [blush} Mortified, I staggered back out and decided to go outside instead. Now this was in the early 90s, in the days of bodysuits, with poppers. The poppers on mine were buggered so I had sewn up the gusset, so had to take the whole thing off in order to have a wee. I managed it without wetting myself, and was having a much needed long wee when the random boy I had been snogging earlier appeared round the corner looking for me to see if I was OK It was awful. Later on I was sick on his denim jacket, you would think he'd be horrified but he was very sweet and looked after me, while my best friend drunkenly screeched at him 'Get off her! She's MY friend! I'll look after her!' Awful. I don't miss my teenage years one bit!

I was walking back from the loo in a bar and I started freaking out that a girl had on the same outfit as me and was walking towards me!
I was walking towards a mirror

Armysal..that is hilarious!!

I did once spew up all over bil's bathroom once, mopped it all up and left the towel in the washing machine. Was the only thing that was in the washer, I dread to imagine the smell he got when he opened up the washer, God knows why I didn't just put the washing machine on!

I also fell asleep on door step, got a little worried when DH said I was home really late, when I knew I'd left town early, which made me try and re trace my steps using google locations, turns out id left town and went straight home, only to fall asleep on the doorstep emptying my bag all over the front garden!