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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to practice medicine with self-harm scars?

133 replies

OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:16

I am a medical student. I suffered from recurrent depression as a child (12 onwards) and have forearms covered in white self-harm scars. I haven't cut myself since I was 19 and am now 27.

NHS policy is "bare below the elbows". My scars are like a network that covers every inch of skin. All flat and faded as much as they ever will be.

They are instantly recognisable as what they are, to anyone who has any familiarity with DSH.

I have tried camouflage make-up, but it rubs off, and is apparently an infection control risk.

There's nothing I can really do about them, but I want to help people. So, Mumsnet, please tell me how you feel: would you want me as your doctor if you saw my arms? Would you see me as less capable of taking care of you?

Thank you.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 04/09/2016 18:40

If you want to work in mental health, you could consider training to be a clinical psychologist instead of a psychiatrist. I guess they wouldn't have such strict rules about sleeve length Wink

glueandstick · 04/09/2016 18:47

They would make me think you're probably a better doctor than most as you'll have way more understanding and compassion.

Wear them with pride is perhaps the wrong thing to say. But don't ever let it hold you back. Don't give it another moment's thought.

thegoodnameshadgone · 04/09/2016 18:47

No problem for me

Marynary · 04/09/2016 18:50

I don't think many people will notice and even if they do, they may be like me and prefer doctors with some idea of what it feels like to not be in the greatest of health (mentally or physically).

Palomb · 04/09/2016 18:51

I'd notice and I'd think you'd obviously been through some shit time but it wouldn't worry me at all. I wouldn't be in any way concerned about your capabilities as a Doctor.

Booboostwo · 04/09/2016 19:50

I wouldn't notice.
If I did notice I wouldn't know what they were and would never ask or speculate -none of my business!
If I did know, it would not bother me in the least - it's just not relevant to my care.

desperate16 · 04/09/2016 20:00

Wouldn't bother me - I work as an HCA and sit with a patient once who had attempted suicide and who and had self harmed. I showed her my scars, explained I had gotten through the worst, graduated and managed to hold down a job - if I'd taken my life I'd never have known that things could have been better and that I'd have times where I was happy. I think it helped her to know she wasn't weird, alone or anything like that.

Only two people have ever asked me at work - a colleague thought I'd been attacked when I had a fresh bite mark to my arm, another guessed when she was watching me write someone's notes.

I even started my work with several incisions to my forearm from my sister hurting me (severe autism) and had to get my boss and colleagues to help me dress my arm up, even then no one was intrusive or made a fuss. Just helped me clean my arm up properly and put dressings/bandages on.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 04/09/2016 20:02

I would probably not notice but if I did it wouldn't bother me. As a mum of a self harming child it would be kind of reassuring tbh as you have fought it and I would hope you would help my daughter do the same.

JaceLancs · 04/09/2016 20:03

I have noticeable self harm scars (troubled teen due to an abusive childhood)
I work in a caring profession quite high up - I never deliberately cover them, only one person has ever said something in 40+ years and that was a sympathetic comment

HKHKHR · 04/09/2016 20:50

Go for it! I bet you will be great. I think being prepared for questions is a good thing (I like hedgehog sanctuary worker).

MissElizaBennettsBookmark · 04/09/2016 21:04

It wouldn't bother me at all.

Hope you're feeling better now OP Flowers

splendidglenda · 04/09/2016 21:07

I think Imperial put it well.

I would think that doctors like you were like gold dust and I'd feel comfortable that you could really empathise with your patient

Well done OP

Summerwood1 · 04/09/2016 21:09

If I'm honest,I don't think that I'd feel comfatable with it.

proudmummyoftwo · 04/09/2016 21:15

I've noticed similar scars on a few doctors. Never an issue. We're all human and have our own lives and difficulties to overcome. Well done for turning your life around

microscope · 04/09/2016 21:21

I'm a GP and some of my most satisfying consultations are those where I choose to share something of myself. If you feel able to occasionally do that it would be a very powerful tool.

You just need a standard answer as patients are nosy and will ask - something like

"what are those scars"

"they're from injuries when I was younger"

or similarly non specific then move on

kaffkooks · 04/09/2016 21:26

Don't worry about it. There are a lot of doctors and loads of psychiatrists with previous and current mental health problems. I'm a doctor (but not a psychiatrist) and I have 2 friends who have both needed inpatient treatment in the last few years. Both are now working again. The trick is to be able to identify when you are becoming ill, get help quickly and not just keep working because the job is so busy. Supportive friends and family are also essential. As for your scars, people you work with will notice because we're trained to be observant, but it shouldn't be an issue. Patients will have bigger things on their minds than your scars. It's a good idea to have planned what you will say if someone asks.

Mouthfulofquiz · 04/09/2016 21:34

I worked with someone when I was a teenager and we were given new short sleeved uniforms all of a sudden on weekend. I was completely floored by the amount of scarring on her arms. But; the scars were very red and I was only young. I had no idea that people did that. As an adult, now that I know more about the world as I've worked in healthcare, it wouldn't bother me. I would raise concerns about anything that worried me, but the appearance of a doctor's arms wouldn't bother me.

lu9months · 04/09/2016 21:43

im a consultant. the scars don't in any way make you a less capable doctor. on the contrary, your experience may well make you more empathic and understanding. i have seen similar scars on 2 colleagues arms, self harming in women is sadly not rare. you are moving on with your life and should be very proud of yourself for how for you have come. don't give up!

WhatchooGonnaDoAboutIt · 04/09/2016 21:57

This is so heartening to read. I have very obvious old self harm scars on my arms.

On a previous thread I posted on a few days ago a nanny was told by several posters that they'd want her to bring it up at interview, explain the history and ask permission to wear short sleeves - I was gobsmacked and actually quite upset. So pleased to see that a majority of people here are happy to leave the past in the past, even for a person in a position of trust such as a doctor. FWIW OP I wouldn't bat an eyelid at any scars - in my eyes it's no different to chicken pox or surgery.

kate33 · 04/09/2016 21:57

While pregnant with my first child, one of the nurses that treated me in anti navel had very visible white scars that were obviously from self harming. I think unfortunately it's not that rare. I never said anything to her but I did think how brave she was to have them on show . If you were treating me and I saw your scars I would perceive you as someone who had battled demons and won, it would make you seem more emphatic and just seem all the more human. Imagine how a teenage girl going through the same kind of pain would feel if you were her Doctor. I can only see the positives op, the very best of luck to you!

user1470132907 · 04/09/2016 22:50

My son recently treated by a nurse who clearly had self harm scars. All it made me think was that it's nice to know people can recover

MumiTravels · 04/09/2016 22:57

Doctors, nurses etc are still human at the end of the day. I've got to be honest many of the psychiatric nurses I've met have had psychiatric problems themselves and it makes them very good at their job as they have a good background understanding.

However people can be curious and ask questions and I think you should just be honest rather than try to ever cover it up.

Cover up would be no good for clinical practice and sleeves would get in the way and dip in unwanted places.

LellyMcKelly · 04/09/2016 23:05

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. When I see a doctor all I want to know is that they can help. Huge Flowers for overcoming what you've gone through, and going on to be a doctor. I think that's pretty amazing.

ijustdontknowanymore · 04/09/2016 23:22

I would have no issue with you bring my doctor at all. I think you should be very proud of yourself for overcoming your difficulties, which probably lend you a greater deal of empathy than many others in your role. Good luck and enjoy it X

MaximilianNero · 04/09/2016 23:28

I'm another medical student with past depression and current anxiety but no scars (and 2 other invisible disabilities just to round things off nicely Wink ).

Would not bother me at all as a patient, I'd feel very comfortable with it, and the same as a colleague. In fact it would be a positive because I think you'd understand if I needed to mention my difficulties at any point. I met a foundation doctor last week who has had MH problems and it was great to talk to her about it. I always worry about telling people (who should know) because I'm afraid of false assumptions and insensitive comments etc.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat or anything Smile