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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to practice medicine with self-harm scars?

133 replies

OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:16

I am a medical student. I suffered from recurrent depression as a child (12 onwards) and have forearms covered in white self-harm scars. I haven't cut myself since I was 19 and am now 27.

NHS policy is "bare below the elbows". My scars are like a network that covers every inch of skin. All flat and faded as much as they ever will be.

They are instantly recognisable as what they are, to anyone who has any familiarity with DSH.

I have tried camouflage make-up, but it rubs off, and is apparently an infection control risk.

There's nothing I can really do about them, but I want to help people. So, Mumsnet, please tell me how you feel: would you want me as your doctor if you saw my arms? Would you see me as less capable of taking care of you?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Discobabe · 04/09/2016 16:34

Nope, quite the opposite, I think I'd trust you more.

Bumpmadethemjump · 04/09/2016 16:34

Wouldn't bother me*!

acasualobserver · 04/09/2016 16:34

No problem for me. Some people are bound both to notice and comment, though. Have you thought how you'll deal with that?

Original poster
OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:35

I was given advice by a (lovely) occupational health psych to make a joke about it if people ask. He said it's like a game; they know what the scars are, and they're being nosy. So say something like "well as you can tell, I'm a mature student, and I used to run a hedgehog rescue sanctuary/wrestle lions/be a specialised rosebush gardener". Grin

But I wanted to see how some of my future patients would feel as well. I certainly wouldn't ever want to make someone feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:
NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 04/09/2016 16:35

I would be very happy to have you as a doctor as I would see it as a huge achievement that you had overcome those feelings.
I might feel a bit concerned about any scars that were obviously fresh, if I noticed them that is. There's a very good chance I wouldn't spot anything as I've failed to notice that a friends housemate only had one hand before!

YelloDraw · 04/09/2016 16:35

Not an issue

I guess you might get some comments if they are on show so just be ready to deal with that.

Original poster
OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:37

Nice that made me giggle. Grin

OP posts:
Caffeinator · 04/09/2016 16:37

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I have scars as well.

NotYoda · 04/09/2016 16:40

I think I would think : she's been through something difficult and emerged from it. I'd maybe feel a bit motherly towards you

Now that could create an extra issue around transference in treating people with mental health problems, which you'd maybe need to think about with a supervisor. I don't know how psychiatry training works, but if you were a trainee psychotherapist you'd have your own therapy/supervision to address that

Scarydinosaurs · 04/09/2016 16:40

Are all doctors bare from the elbows down? I'm sure that discriminates against the religious beliefs that say you should be covered?

user1472515172 · 04/09/2016 16:40

I'm extremely judgemental and I wouldn't care.

olives106 · 04/09/2016 16:41

I'm currently reading this book, and finding it really helpful. It's a psychiatrist writing about her own experience of depression and managing it as a medical student and a practicing doctor. I just thought I'd mention it in case you hadn't seen it and might want to read it. No, the scars wouldn't bother me at all.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B014I1F0QU/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o00_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

FreshwaterSelkie · 04/09/2016 16:41

I have those scars too, Omar. If you were my doctor and I noticed, all I would think was that you are brave and very likely compassionate and understanding. Wishing you loads of luck with your career!

Original poster
OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:42

Not all psychiatrists and trainees have supervision Smile it's the only specialty that does. As a result, psychs I've spoken to have said that they've felt more supported in their psychiatry training than any other point in their career!

OP posts:
Mellifera · 04/09/2016 16:43

I think you'd be a brilliant psychiatrist. You have been there and gone through bad times. Those people can make the best counsellors/psychologists/psychiatrists.

I understand your wanting to hide those scars but as you can't due to policy take a deep breath and expose them. I would like others suggested prepare a very short explanation (Had a tough time as a kid) but don't feel bad about them.

Original poster
OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:44

olives thank you! I've read one about a doctor with bipolar - www.amazon.co.uk/Unquiet-Mind-Picador-Classic/dp/1447275284/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1473003822&sr=1-1&keywords=kay+redfield+jamison

I'll have a look into it.

Thanks again for all the support, everyone. It's very touching.

OP posts:
goingmadinthecountry · 04/09/2016 16:45

Probably wouldn't notice, but if I did I'd feel impressed that you'd worked through whatever your problems were and were doing so well. You sound great - a bit of experience in life counts for a lot.

I'm very judgemental too but faded scars are definitely something I'd never judge about. People (hopefully) move on.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 04/09/2016 16:46

Fellow mature(ish) medical student and psychiatrist wannabe here . And to continue the freaky similarities, I also have scarring on my forearms. Some are from a very brief period of teenage self harm but actually they're not hugely noticeable and are rather outdone by a collection of oven burns as I like to bake but am very clumsy Blush. Only one patient has commented on it and that was on a psych placement where he assumed the oven burns were self-inflicted. And that comment was in a 'you know what this is like' vein rather than critical. As far as I'm aware no other patients have even noticed, or if they have they're too preoccupied with what's happening to them or why I'm approaching them with a cannula looking like I don't have a clue what I'm doing to care.
Feel free to PM if you want to chat about clinical placements or anything BTW!

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 04/09/2016 16:46

I posted on here a few months back about whether people would judge if they noticed self harm scars. (I am a nurse, although didn't say so on that thread), and was reassured greatly by so many kind and understanding (as well as non judgemental) answers.If I may rehash some of what was said to me, be proud of who you are and how far you have come. Your scars don't define you and they show that you have overcome a dark time. I too would be more than happy for you to be my doctor, and echo what others have said about you having an additional level of empathy and understanding.

NotYoda · 04/09/2016 16:46

That's great, OP

I wish you good luck.

Mellifera · 04/09/2016 16:47

Or, if it's not a patient, I quite like the hedgehog rescue idea Grin

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 04/09/2016 16:47

I would consider it none of my business, but I might assume that you'd had some struggles and this may have made you more sympathetic to other people's.

ReggaeShark · 04/09/2016 16:48

I agree about being prepared for patients to ask about your scars, both nosy older people and children on your paeds rotation. My daughter would have asked you about them out of genuine interest and the hope of hearing an inspiring tale about surviving hard times. Very best of luck to you.

BoffinMum · 04/09/2016 16:48

I would have mixed feelings. I would be really impressed you had taken up medicine as a career and think you had a lot to offer people but also worried you would be unstable (even though that contradicts the first lot of feelings).

StrattersHasACunningPlan · 04/09/2016 16:50

I think in the field you want to work in, it would be both comforting and advantageous - it would certainly make me feel more comfortable with you.