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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to practice medicine with self-harm scars?

133 replies

OmarComin · 04/09/2016 16:16

I am a medical student. I suffered from recurrent depression as a child (12 onwards) and have forearms covered in white self-harm scars. I haven't cut myself since I was 19 and am now 27.

NHS policy is "bare below the elbows". My scars are like a network that covers every inch of skin. All flat and faded as much as they ever will be.

They are instantly recognisable as what they are, to anyone who has any familiarity with DSH.

I have tried camouflage make-up, but it rubs off, and is apparently an infection control risk.

There's nothing I can really do about them, but I want to help people. So, Mumsnet, please tell me how you feel: would you want me as your doctor if you saw my arms? Would you see me as less capable of taking care of you?

Thank you.

OP posts:

schbittery · 04/09/2016 16:51

Hi Omar, wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In fact it would probably make me feel quite trusting towards you as I would think you would have plenty of empathy and care for other people after being through something like that and still completing medical school etc. Good luck - sounds like you will make a fine doctor.

Feefeefs · 04/09/2016 16:52

No issue! There is a consultant and a younger doctor on my ward that I have noticed with scars but I have never heard anyone patient or other member of staff mention it!

Scaredycat3000 · 04/09/2016 16:52

Wouldn't bother me ether, shows you've known suffering and came out the other side. The hedgehog rescue is my favorite too.

quasibex · 04/09/2016 16:54

Well done OP for not letting your past define your future. My sister has self harm history and she still doesn't feel like she can be trusted with anything sharp, I long for the day when she can firmly say I'm done with that and it's time to live again.

The only reason your scars would concern me as a patient would be if they looked new...that would indicate to me that you aren't in a good personal place and I'd be worried that could translate into a bad day at the office so to speak. Old scars, no problem at all with. Best of luck.

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/09/2016 16:55

It wouldn't worry me, and I am not terribly observant (like Nice, I worked with someone for three years and didn't notice that he only had one arm...) so may not notice. But if I did, I wouldn't mention it, as they were old scars, I would think it was part of your past. I also like the idea of telling people, jokingly, that you used to be a lion tamer/breed hedgehogs.

Lostandinsane · 04/09/2016 16:56

I'd be happy for you to be my Dr. In fact, I'd probably trust you more as I have Bipolar II and have self harmed in the past too.

Also well done on not cutting for years and learning more healthy coping mechanisms.

To be honest with you, I find your story quite reassuring as I want to apply to medical school as a mature/graduate student (I'm 30 and have a degree in Biology) and it's always been at the back if my mind that my Bipolar will make it impossible.

TheProblemOfSusan · 04/09/2016 16:56

If I noticed, I would just assume you were a safe person to confide mental health issues too, if I gave it a second thought.

Tbh if I'm in the care of a doctor, I'm normally too concerned with what's going on with me/DH or whoever I'm with to be taking in that kind of detail!

MessedUpWheelieBin · 04/09/2016 16:56

I'd just somewhat unfairly expect you to be more emphatic than many.

Danglyweed · 04/09/2016 16:56

I said on a thread a day or two ago how my daughter was treated at a childrens hospital by a nurse who had really bad scarring. Made absolutely no difference to me, she was lovely and doing her job brilliantly

DeliciousIrony · 04/09/2016 16:56

I'd be happy for you to be my doctor.

I'm a similar age and also have quite a few old DSH scars, mostly on my legs, which are always hidden apart from the occasional medical thing which means I can't hide them, like having a pelvic exam or an operation. In these situations, I always feel so anxious and ridiculously grateful for the kind nurse/doctor who doesn't make a big thing of it. Although I understand that some medical professioanls feel the need to ask about it as part of their duty of care, as my scars are obviously not recent I would much rather not talk about them if I am there for something completely unrelated. I think I would feel that you might understand that.

I think the only possible downside for me might be in comparing scars, as I'm so used to hiding mine I might worry that if your scars look more severe, you might look down on me in some way. However, I realise that that sort of thinking is seriously skewed and irrational and completely my own problem, not yours.

Good luck, medicine is bloody hard work and I think that showing your arms everyday in these circumstances is not an easy thing to do.

YouAreMyRain · 04/09/2016 16:57

I would also feel reassured that you had extra understanding and compassion

I would also admire you for having the strength to overcome your difficulties

(I have a young DD with severe MH issues)

Heyheyheygoodbye · 04/09/2016 16:58

Frankly I'd love it because it would mean you wouldn't be shocked by my own!

HeteronormativeHaybales · 04/09/2016 16:58

I would think they're none of my business.
Good luck with your training :)

Wolpertinger · 04/09/2016 16:59

Depending on what area of medicine you go into, bare below the elbows may be less enforced - don't know about psych but in my specialty, out of hospital I haven't had to scrap all my longer sleeved dresses

In pysch you are likely to find it less of an issue as there will be others who have picked psych because of personal experience but you can't guarantee you will have a sympathetic clinical supervisor bitter personal experience from what I thought would be a supportive specialty

However there will be far far less handwashing to scrub off the camouflage makeup if you choose to go down that route again. So you will have more options open to you if you want to cover up again. Plus prob roles where you don't even have to do bare below the elbows at all - for example in my specialty it's not enforced when we are own clothes in the community as we aren't touching/examining.

user1471552005 · 04/09/2016 16:59

The wounded healer is a brilliant analysis by Jung, Chiron,Hephastios.
I wouldn't judge by having a GP with such scars. GPs are human too.

Wolfiefan · 04/09/2016 17:02

You sound like a lovely and empathetic person. I think your patients would felt well cared for and you sound like you will be compassionate and professional too.
Might notice your scars. Would probably realise what they could be. (Ex teacher). If just be glad they were clearly old scars and you had overcome the compulsion. TBH it might well make me feel you understand me and offer hope. If you can recover then so can I.
Good luck in your new career.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 04/09/2016 17:02

I'd actually be very touched and heartened by your show of vunerability. What better proof of the possibility of turning your life around? We all need that.

As someone who would like to pursue a counselling career, I think that honesty about your own experiences and difficulties can be tremendously useful (but obviously only if you are directly asked about them, and you feel it might be beneficial to the client/patient to share).

Go for it, OP. You will be invaluable to the NHS. Am proud of you.

Original poster

OmarComin · 04/09/2016 17:03

Lost I am actually bipolar II - I didn't mention it in the OP for some reason (because the scars are more about depression, I suppose). My place was conditional on a full occupational health interview with a medicine-specific occupational health psychiatrist. He really pushed me, to see if I'd react badly talking about my past and so on, but passed me with flying colours. He also wrote to the doctor who treated my bipolar (after years of misdiagnosis) for her opinion before I could go to university. There's no reason why you shouldn't pursue medicine if you are well in yourself now.

Also to the person who is a wannabe psych: thanks for your support, that is definitely spooky!

OP posts:

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 04/09/2016 17:04

user. Yes, ''Wounded Healer' is an excellent example.

SoupDragon · 04/09/2016 17:05

I probably wouldn't notice but, given your chosen area, I would think being honest about them if asked would give confidence to the patient that things can be over come.

NameChange30 · 04/09/2016 17:06

I might not even notice, and if I did, it wouldn't bother me - it would probably give me more confidence in your ability to be a good, empathetic psychiatrist, rather than less.

However, if you brought it up just because you thought I was looking at your arms, and not because I asked or it was relevant to the conversation, I would find it a bit strange. I would think you were paranoid/insecure about it and wanted to explain yourself when in fact it wasn't necessary.

And if I asked you directly, I would want a straight answer, not an evasive joke about hedgehogs! Especially if you were my psychiatrist, I'd think it was a bit weird that I was opening up to you but you weren't prepared to answer a simple question.

SacharissaCrisplock · 04/09/2016 17:06

It wouldn't bother me at all and on the note of being unobservant - I failed to notice for many years that my very lovely GP only had one eye.

It was only when I had a friend with me once and on the way out she asked me why I hadn't mentioned it that I realised.

Ifailed · 04/09/2016 17:06

So pleased to hear that you've managed to control your self-harm, and most importantly decided on a career in healthcare. I'm a lot older than you, and have scars from before your birth and some that I'm ashamed to say are more recent. People do notice them, and some make comments or judge.
So whilst I personally agree with the majority of posters, I think you need to be prepared for the odd colleague or patient who will make comments or come to the wrong conclusions.

Good luck, and best wishes for you future career. We need people like you.

2kids2dogsnosense · 04/09/2016 17:09

No problem at all for me (I have similar scars myself).

However, if I were you I would have some plausible explanation for them because one day )probably more than one day) someone is going to ask about them - usually a child, or someone trying to be nosey kind or a drunk, or somebody who has no idea what could have caused it but is curious and possibly trying to distract themselves from their own anxieties by asking personal questions.

MrsCharlieD · 04/09/2016 17:10

I would have no issue with it at all. As a recovered self harmer myself I would recognise what they were but in no way would that make me be anything but glad you were treating me x

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