To have not have given a lift?

[Rosycheeksforthisone]

I had a massive falling out with a family member last week, he verbally abused me and my husband and threatened my husband.

2 relatives of the nasty family member were attending a party tonight and asked for a lift, I agreed days ago, however tonight they text to say could I head down to collect them and that there would be an extra person to give a lift to, I asked who and they said 'don't worry we will walk' I figured they had relative with them and offered to collect them on there own, and I couldn't collect relative after their behaviour and not an apology.

They refused to leave him and have had to walk in the rain. I feel awful 🙁

OP my ex's family were like this. His stepmother was insane and she was condoned in her behaviour by everyone. She was the one who eventually broke me up with my ex because I finally decided that I was worth more than the way she treated both my ex and me. He just couldn't step away. He was too immersed.
You and your husband and your little ones are worth more than this. You sound so lovely. Hopefully you can still have a relationship with your other non-insane siblings.
for you for your baby to be xx

You could just quickly detach completely, move on with your life and show them that you will ONLY engage with them on YOUR TERMS.

Your DP's are toxic and your brother is the same. You can continue having a happy life without them in it. There's only so many chances you can give a person, but once you're done, you're done. No more chances.

Ah I feel really sorry for you and they should be much more considerate to you when you're expecting. Don't dare feel guilty, you just take care of yourself and your own family. Selfish gits they are!!! Cant believe they had the cheek to ask in the first place.

This must be awful for you 😢
You do need to look after yourself and protect yourself and family from their behaviour.
But of course, you probably still love them and cutting them out of your life is easier said than done. If you are finding it hard and doubting yourself maybe go and speak to a counsellor. They could help you work through it all and learn how to keep yourself strong and break free of any lasting impact their behaviour may have had on you. Good luck x

You can do it. I haven't been to my parent's house in at least 2 years. I only ever see them off 'their turf' as my father is less likely to try to bully me when away from his home environment. I will never take my sons back there again. I have not actually spoken to them since June, no texts, emails, nothing.

Wow l hope your husband's family are normal so at least your kids have at least one decent set of grandparents. You poor thing having to put up with this but for the sake of your sanity l would try and distance yourself xx

Wow, this is all sadly familiar :(

Going NC is hard. It hurts. You grieve for the family you never really had. You see everyone else have lovely relationships with family and wonder "what's wrong with me?"

Well the answer is nothing. That's why you had to cut them off.

It takes time, but feel your confidence grow without their manipulative and abusive behaviour keeping it down. Enjoy the feeling of not having to be constantly worried about whatever they'll do next. Feel your other relationships grow stronger as a result.

Eventually you will reach acceptance and peace and realise just how strong and good you are.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Xxx

Been in similar situation with family members and the way I look at it, you wouldn't accept it from friends so why should you from family. These people are like a cancer that will eat away at your happiness. Cut them off and move on. It hurts for a while until you see the damage they are doing to each other and other people from afar and then you will realise that you have totally done the right thing. Xx

I've been there too with a toxic sibling whose spouse backed them every inch of the way. After our parents died (whom they bullied dreadfully) their behaviour became extreme so I cut all ties. Sounds easy but wasn't as I was eldest and they were the youngest (baby) I'd cherished and helped bring up. I'm softer like my DM and have integrity but that means nothing to people like them and your family, OP, except you are seen as an easy mark.
You will grieve but then feel a sense of relief especially if you hear of how your other siblings are being treated.
Enjoy your own little family, hope you have an easy birth. Good luck