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AIBU?

Aibu re 14 to did at home alone with boyfriend?

83 replies

NoonarAgain · 01/09/2016 21:42

Dd is 14 and is very sensible and old fashioned almost re sex, alcohol, smoking etc. She has a boyfriend of nearly 15. Dd is very physically mature. She wants me to allow BF to come over while I am at work tomorrow and is giving me the 'you don't trust me' spiel.

Aibu to say that he is welcome but only when we are home?

Also, she does go to his house and I have no way of knowing who is there.

I do trust her, actually, but it would seem negligent almost not to supervise them to some extent.

I've told her that it might not always be a 'no' but that I need to have time to think and talk to dh, which I can't go by the morning.
Aibu?

Help!

OP posts:

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MaQueen · 02/09/2016 20:00

No, of course I wouldn't.

Nothing go do with trust/not trust.

At nearly 14, DD1 is sensible but still a child and easily capable of being momentarily thoughtless.

So, better to try and minimise such risks.

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MylaMimi · 02/09/2016 20:10

It would be a no from me for sure.

I would say No for tomorrow but you can revisit that in the future. But for tomorrow, No.

I would think that if they were up to anything it would be far easier to get up to it in a house than a park or outside somewhere etc. So you would be handing them a comfortable opportunity, rather than a less attractive opportunity which might be passed over for being too cold/uncomfortable/visible etc. Even if she's usually sensible, she's still 14. Flattery can get a lot of lads far even with sensible girls!

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Beeziekn33ze · 02/09/2016 20:12

Get DH to talk to her, he's the one who knows what it's like to be an adolescent boy! 14 is young, at that age many girls get persuaded to go further than they intend or want to. They want to appear cool and mature and are worried they may lose their boyfriend.

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Beeziekn33ze · 02/09/2016 20:13

ps I wouldn't let her have him over when the house is empty.

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midcenturymodern · 02/09/2016 20:19

I wouldn't want a boy who had 'encouraged' a girl to text what I assume are naked pics in my house even if I was in, but I've got no tolerance for dickheads.

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ethelb · 03/09/2016 08:11

Get DH to talk to her, he's the one who knows what it's like to be an adolescent boy!

^^ vom

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SeenYourArse · 03/09/2016 08:38

She's asked you that says a lot! Would've been easier to just have him round after you left and leave before you get home... (Which she may just do if you say no?!)

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MylaMimi · 03/09/2016 16:31

seen it feels like you're saying OP should say yes because her DD bothered to ask her, also she's obviously going to do it anyway if OP says no... none of which are necessarily the case. I think OP's DD asked because that's the way she was brought up and as such, the chances are good that she'll respect OP's decision rather than totally override it. If she was like that she wouldn't have asked in the first place. She's looking to OP for guidance and setting standards, which OP has (in my opinion) wisely done.