To be waiting for the massive B******s?

[ladyjadey]

It's late August. This time every year as the nights start to get darker, giant, evil spiders of doom run at me across the living room carpet. They lurk next to my bed, in the hallway and climb the curtains. They barricade themselves in the downstairs loo waiting for me to inadvertently lock myself in a tiny space and spot them, mid terrified wee. I have been waiting for two weeks now and it hasn't happened yet. Has anyone else been afflicted with the influx of gigantic leggy knobs?

I'm a housekeeper at a holiday destination in the uk and have noticed lots of spiders in accommodation.
A lot of them are already dead, but still. They are big!

Ok ill tell you my horror story. There I was asking dh to move the massive brown leggy bastard from top of the front door for 3 days. Then one day I came out it was gone! Dh said he'd moved it. I knew he was lying. 2 days later of missing spider and I walked in the kitchen after work to find the fucker mocking me from my kitchen floor. Dh wasn't home for a few hours so I blew on it until it ran under the cupboard. So the next evening and night I spent walking around with lights on incase I nearly got eaten by it in the dark. The next morning dh went to see his dad and my 14 month dd is stood in the bathroom looking in toilet for no good reason. She turns around and there is it. The brown dead fucker curled up in a ball on her bloody pyjama bottoms. She'd damn well crawled on the bastard and killed it. Wait no...Dh had stood on it in the night and killed it by accident, not moved it, and let dd crawl over it. Needless to say the pjs got binned!

I had one of the hairy fuckers on me last night. I squished it, not through bravery but in my flailing terror. I threw my phone so far I only found it this morning.

Creepy little bastards!

Don't any of you name them???

Every house I've ever lived in there's always been one big Bugger every year that stick around for a few months. These type are pretty habitual and can be seen/found in the same places during the evening I've no idea if there is any actual scientific truth in the habitualness it's just my experience

Last year we had one we named hulk, in a previous house we had a fat hairy one named Stan, yesterday giant bugger appeared and we named him jazzy Jeff.

DS has been forewarned to keep an eye out and not accidentally tread on him. I now expect to see Jeff most evenings scuttling around the living room floor and behind cabinets. I will try and grab a picture tonight 😄

My dad had one that would appear and run across the living room floor every evening for YEARS, it was definitely the same one and it got progressively older looking and crusty/dusty. None of us ever bothered him.

I loves the spiders 🕷

I have a rather charming Toad in my garden called Eric. They like spiders and the like. He is now going to be a house toad.
I'll get him a long lead and send him in to any room I want to go into, half an hour before.
And Breath. I have a plan.

The only good spider is one that has met the business end of my Havianas.

Houses = sanctuary for people against all things insect

Garden = place where things which may scare people reside

funko

They're not in the house long enough to get named!

We do have one called Clarence who lives behind the toilet. So far he has not bothered me (and we have another toilet I can use ) so we coexist quite companionably.

The minute he comes out whilst I'm in the room is the minute he'll meet with dh's steel toe capped boot.

I wish I wasn't scared of them, I don't like dh killing them. I know I could do therapy but I know they'll make me hold them to I can't face it.

I've held a tarantula and I was fine. Did nothing to help because it's the big fat house spiders I hate, the ones that appear suddenly from nowhere and scare the crap out of you.

Sex crazed and the size of mice ... 😂

www.thesun.co.uk/living/1723725/sex-crazed-spiders-the-size-of-mice-have-been-lying-in-wait-all-year-and-are-now-ready-to-invade-british-homes/

i do not mind them so long as they stay still...once they are running i lose all sense of propriety and there is screeching and swearing and it rarely end well. For anyone.

The biggest one from last year wouldn't fit under a pint glass....well, it did, but it's feet got a bit crimped. I HEARD it scampering before I spotted it.

Worst experience ever was one in my bed....just nodding off and felt a tickly twitch on my thigh, I fidgeted and it stopped. It happened again, and I fidgeted again, then the third time something in my brain went "danger danger DANGER!!!"

DH said I did a harrier jump jet style vertical take off from the bed, whilst screeching in horror, snapping on ALL the lights and flaffing all the covers all before my feet hit the ground
I was besides myself with horror.

It was a massive bastarding thing with a body like a two pence and legs longer than mine. I cried.

And every time I see this thread I gather my feet up under me and check the floor. I am not strong enough to withstand another spider actually touching me.

We have one living down behind the window sill. Any fly that goes there gets caught in his web...then he comes up and wraps his legs around the fly and drags it down into his lair. We often pause the tv and lean over to watch when we hear the commotion. It's fascinating...as long as he keeps away from me!

We have one living down behind the window sill. Any fly that goes there gets caught in his web...then he comes up and wraps his legs around the fly and drags it down into his lair.
That's why spiders are so beneficial. Flies and mosquitoes carry diseases and spiders get rid of them. They are lovely creatures and do no harm.
It's sad that people have phobias, but they can be treated.

Don't any of you name them???

Yes, mine is Fred

It's quite fun waiting for him to scuttle across the carpet every night, though I find he's not much for conversation. Luckily the cats are totally idle bastards and don't chase him ...

I own a house that needs work. The spoders there are fat and low to the ground.

So hairy they need a good wash, cut and blow dry.

I moved into a flat, a ground floor conversion of a big, damp Victorian villa.

The spiders here are Cellar Spiders.

Tiny little bodies but looooooooong spindly legs.

They are everywhere and are immensely cheeky.

A couple of nights ago, I needed the loo on the middle of the night.

I got up in the dark AND BLUNDERED INTO A SPIDER'S WEB WHICH HAD BEEN SPUN ACROSS THE CORRIDOR TO THE BATHROOM!

I had a shower before going back to bed.

I met one of ours yesterday. He said that they were just arranging DHL to send their stuff over to some Mrs. Ladyjadey and I won't be seeing them in a while. Apparently our lack of reaction got too boring for their kids and all they want to do is to play on their spidePads instead of scaring the shit out of unimpressed people (and trying to avoid the feline killers didn't help either).
You are welcome.

We've had a couple of littlies but no monsters yet. It's our first spider season in this house so I'm hoping it's better than our last one that would get invaded.

Dh refuses to catch them for me and will only kill so I have to catch them myself

Puzzled ours are all called Fred too, or since we realised as children that didn't explain the baby Freds very well, sometimes Fredrika!
We used to get giant harvest spiders in the house I grew up in, they were treated as something a bit exciting and interesting but nothing more so I've never really been bothered by them. I have to say I've never stood on one or had one on me, that would be a step too far. These days they are allowed to stay put unless they are on the ceiling above me or my bed or otherwise in the way (bath when I want it for example). Then they go under a pint glass, some thick paper or card below them and out the door.

Fat Albert came to live with us last year. He lived under the bath so this year I'm taking no chances. I've ripped the whole bathroom out.

Yes! Loads of the big fucking huge bastards. I'm seriously going to have to burn the house down. Like you, they run at my feet when sat on the sofa and lurk next to my side of the bed never DP.

One ran over my face while In was napping yesterday

*The spiders here are Cellar SpidersTiny little bodies but looooooooong spindly legs.

They are everywhere and are immensely cheeky.*

Those are Pholcus Phalangioides. They love sitting in the upper corners of a room, and you'll often see them hanging about in a public toilet. Much as I adore spiders, I have to agree that Pholcus are not particularly lovable. Give me a Steatoda or Tegenaria any day.

Perfectly sensible reaction there Wonka. Take no chances!

DH is away. I am alone. I know it won't be for long. I am armed with one shoe. If they are not fast I may brave a pint glass. It will be funny if DH comes home to every pint glass we own out in the garden housing a leggy thing

Yeah I am waiting. I am waiting.

I can sense them in a room, may not always see them but I know they are there. Usually do see one soon after I have had this sense. I have had them on me a few times.