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Original poster

To be waiting for the massive B******s?

237 replies

ladyjadey · 31/08/2016 20:33

It's late August. This time every year as the nights start to get darker, giant, evil spiders of doom run at me across the living room carpet. They lurk next to my bed, in the hallway and climb the curtains. They barricade themselves in the downstairs loo waiting for me to inadvertently lock myself in a tiny space and spot them, mid terrified wee. I have been waiting for two weeks now and it hasn't happened yet. Has anyone else been afflicted with the influx of gigantic leggy knobs?

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MintyLizzy9 · 31/08/2016 22:17

I'm hiding this thread now you spider picture posting bastards!

I'm off to bed with my eyes closed....tis the only way for the next couple of months, that and going to bed at 7.30 during peak seasonSad

Fiona80 · 31/08/2016 22:17

I can't sleep now, getting the heebie jeebies, really can't stand them, am petrified.

Am gonna get one of those spider catchers. But they are always so fast that improbably wouldn't catch any.

ilovedecake · 31/08/2016 22:21

Caught this beast a couple of days ago. Was tempted to set the house on fire

To be waiting for the massive B******s?
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 31/08/2016 22:21

about a week ago dh spotted one running under my chair! And last night I caught one promenading across the sitting room like he owned the place

...well serve him right the only thing to catch him in had coffee dregs in....so he had a coffee bath....ds2 escorted him off the premises.

Original poster
ladyjadey · 31/08/2016 22:21

It has happened. The first bastard. DH has dealt with it. It was huge, I am sure bigger ones await.

I tempted fate with this thread. Thank you all for your support at this terrible time

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Happyhippy45 · 31/08/2016 22:22

I just leave spiders be. They do a great job.
I accidentally squished one. I found it in my ear. Worst thing was I didn't know if it was crawling in or out.

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 31/08/2016 22:22

I can't catch them and couldn't get close enough with a gadget. I have a husband for that. Has anyone tried that spray from Lakeland. Does it work ?

MintyLizzy9 · 31/08/2016 22:23

Say hello to my little friend

To be waiting for the massive B******s?
missyB1 · 31/08/2016 22:24

There is a huuuuuge one in my shoe cupboard, husband is away with work. Ds and I will be barefoot till husband gets home!

I literally hate them, they scare the bloody living daylights out of me.

QueenLizIII · 31/08/2016 22:26

I literally just saw one. Run across the carpet.

SnowBodyforrrrm · 31/08/2016 22:26

All you who have said you haven't seen any yet...you do know that without doubt there's a big one lurking around as we speak, ready to reveal itself when you least expect it? Happens every time. I can't kill them as I can't get lose enough. But I feel safe. We've had three real biggies so far this year so more then my fair share.

The year I put conkers everywhere, we had more bigger, hairier then ever before. Just putting it out there 🕷

MintyLizzy9 · 31/08/2016 22:26

Spray doesn't work, nothing works.

Spottypjs1 · 31/08/2016 22:27

For the last couple of years, I have used peppermint oil to repel the spiders. I put it in a small spray bottle and spray it on all the crack/vents of the house and on the legs of all the beds. Might also put it on my pillow after reading the previous post! I am pretty sure it works too. Thank you for reminding me to do it!

Everytimeref · 31/08/2016 22:27

My DD came running from the bed room crying that lamby was being attacked by spider when I was staying at friends house. All three of us carefully peered at toy and discovered a massive spider. Neither my friend or I was prepared to do the traditional glass removal routine. So we resorted to hoovering up the spider. We decide the hoover had to spend night in garden just in case!

sophiestew · 31/08/2016 22:29

Mutters to self...

"They're all up north Sophie, no spiders here yet..."

HumphreyCobblers · 31/08/2016 22:32

There will be a massive spider appearance now. Because of this thread.

It happens every year. I read a thread on MN, I see a massive spider and have a complete trauma.

Luckily I have trained my dc to removed them for me.

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 31/08/2016 22:32

I'm having more surgery in a fortnight's time, just when they'll be at their peak. I've been in denial, but ordered three of the spider bottles when I saw the first one in the bath. Please, please, please tell me it's going to work.

I can't help but react (jumping, sprinting, ricocheting of furniture). I've got images of split stitches and a bloodbath. And it will all be their fault.

Original poster
ladyjadey · 31/08/2016 22:34

I used to hoover them when I lived alone. Until one large bastard climbed back out of the hoover and ran at me. Then I learned no method is safe. DH is away with work next week and I know they will come. I will hide in the least spidery room until he returns

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TheLegendOfBeans · 31/08/2016 22:36

This is the first time I've lived in a properly old house and FMFL the size of the one in the bath yesterday...it was almost too big to kill - not that I would've, I actually had Batiste and hair straighteners out as basically I couldn't wash until it was dispatched (which DP did. WITH HIS BARE HANDS ARGHHHHH)

Original poster
ladyjadey · 31/08/2016 22:38

Beans - I hope you made him wash the spider hands.

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TheLegendOfBeans · 31/08/2016 22:40

Too right.

I felt such love for him for such gallantry...but tinged with a mild sense of revulsion and horror Grin

cdtaylornats · 31/08/2016 22:41

At least you don't get these

To be waiting for the massive B******s?
OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 31/08/2016 22:41

You raised my hopes with the conkers, just to dash them again Sad

Any one else have bats flying into the bedroom at night, or is it just me?

whippetwoman · 31/08/2016 22:42

I was having a shower this morning, glanced up and noticed one DIRECTLY ABOVE my head. No legs were shaved as a result.

Woodburningstove · 31/08/2016 22:43

None at home yet but they at all over Facebook.
Our last house was a converted barn and we were the first to live there. It was infested with giant monster spiders with massive bodies. At first DH would put them outside but they would just come back in (no matter how far away we out them) so he had to squish them. One night I took a mouthful of water from my bedside glass in the dark and I felt it. I knew what it was. I spat it out, turned on the light and sure enough there was a medium monster floating in my glass.
They are attracted to me like predators to their prey. I had one in my lovely fluffy dressing gown sleeve (which I can no longer wear even though it was some years ago, one in my towel as I dried myself after a shower, one fell on my pillow and I heard the tap it made as it landed right by my nose, and one ran across my thigh in bed under the duvet. They feel cold. Very cold. This is because they are actually monster zombies who are dead and trying to kill you too and make you into one of them.