To feel there's something not quite right about my baby?

[puglife15]

I can't shake the feeling there is something going on with my 6 month old baby that isn't how it should be. He doesn't really babble at all, doesn't like tummy time, is sick loads, examines his hands a LOT and will just lie there staring into space. He also still clenches his thumb in his fist a lot which most babies grow out of by 2 months, and does the most awful poos and wind. He is a dreadful sleeper in the day and not much better at night. He seems like a newborn still in many ways (although he has learned to sit up and roll, just about). But sometimes he's almost too easy, if you know what I mean.

Back story is that I had a difficult pregnancy mental health wise, and was very stressed, and I worry that it's had an impact on him. I cannot tell if there is a genuine concern there or I'm projecting my guilt onto the situation and looking for problems. I'm struggling to trust my gut.

If you could take a guess, what do you feel is wrong with him? Try all develop at different rates so I wouldn't worry too much. If you're worried though you need to speak with your GP

I'd chat to your health visitor to help with your anxieties.

My DD still clenched her thumbs at 4 months. Agree with PP - can you have a chat with your health visitor about your worries?

I'm sure your baby is fine, they all develop at their own pace

He's still very young. At 6 months DD was the same but by 7.5 months she had totally changed. If you feel unsure or uneasy then give your HV a call for a chat.

Please don't beat yourself up. I had a very stressful pregnancy, antenatal depression and was on meds. Babies are resilient little buggers

Have you spoken to your HV or GP? Babies are all different, but if you don't feel happy, do seek some help and advice. Chances are he's fine, but if you are at all concerned, it's better to get it logged and have someone give you some support.

Probably those are all just his little quirks.
However it is worth putting your concerns to a GP. Sitting up is good (about average) but I think I do remember something about thumbs in fists and muscle tone. What happens if you unclench his fist-does it come easily or is it hard to?

Thanks yeah I did mention briefly to HV last week but I felt like a dick when there are babies and children with real tangible problems.

Many I don't know but maybe a learning delay? He is smiley and laughs but doesn't really engage a lot beyond that. I've got an older child who in my memory seems so different. Maybe I've lost sight of what's normal. I've not seen many babies his age since he was born as I'm always doing stuff with the older one.

Stress is relative - I went to a fascinating talk by a neonatal brain development specialist and she talked a lot about it - essentially, it's virtually impossible to impact the brain of a foetus with any human stresses (I was interested because my dh got blown up when I was pg w ds1 and not expected to survive).
So, if you are worried about cortisol levels, don't be - but if you are concerned about medications you may have been taking to deal with mh, then it's worth double checking those.
He sounds quite normal though - and your concerns are possibly more to do with your own raised levels of anxiety relating to your mh rather than anything to do with him?

Please speak to someone about your concerns, they will be able to set the ball rolling to look into things further, or reassure you.

Btw I'm 30 and still clench my thumbs in my fists, perfectly normal in my opinion

Thanks Minty

witchend he doesn't have them clenched the whole time, but when he does they are very hard to open. He can grab stuff but not really using his thumbs, just his fingers?

Can you get out to baby group occasionally to reassure yourself of the broad scope of normal?

Bloody hell ponti

That's good to know re cortisol.

Basically in pregnancy I became convinced he would not survive as part of my antenatal anxiety and depression. He was born 3 weeks early and I blame myself for getting stressed and causing this and in turn any issues he may have as a result.

This translated to some unhealthy worries about him once he was born. When he was a younger baby I really worried about him and checked and prodded him constantly (he slept well at first!).

They really do all develop at different rates. Plenty can't roll and sit at 6 months, so he's doing well there. Also, some babies don't like tummy time, as a personal preference.

HV are there to help all mothers, so don't feel bad about asking for help.

By sick all the time, do you mean posseting after feeding, as my youngest was like that, even after moving onto solids. However with that, plus the awful poos and wind makes me wonder if he's having digestion issues and that possibly might be why he's not sleeping well. Again, it's worth mentioning to the HV.

Sorry ponti x post, my bloody hell was in reference to your post re your husband.

I'm sorry to hear your DD had global delays, and I feel awful for being worried about possible non issues when I know there are lots of people dealing with real problems.

pug you sound so much like me. I refused to believe there would be a baby until she arrived, also at 37 weeks. I was unwell and wouldn't put her down for weeks.

Are you getting help for your anxiety now?

DD has no pincer grip yet and didn't roll until she was 7 months. I wish I could give you a hug!

Oh and she's got a milk allergy so also has terrible nappies and wind. And never sleeps!

And to reassure you further - the kid with issues wasn't the one that I was pg with when dh had his accident - we are all about the brains here lol. Dh had brain bleed and brain surgery from trauma, ds has add and asd and dd2 has brain damage from a birth injury. So anything advertised as brain research I'm all over
If he does have a mild developmental delay (it doesn't sound like it, but hard to know at this age) then it will be one of those things, rather than related to your stress. We always jump to our own insecurities first xx

IPity I think you are right, unfortunately neither hv or docs have been much help in getting to the bottom of his digestive issues. He used to be sick literally hundreds of times a day and his nappies don't seem right to me at all, explosive, very mucusy and huge and smelly and often green. But it's improved from where we were, he's maybe only sick 10-20 times now and a bit less windy.

pug has he had allergies diagnosed? Sounds like a dairy issue to me.

Thanks ponti I really appreciate you posting. You are so clued up!

Minty are you me?! Ha. Thanks for the hug offer, I'd give you one back if I could (and wouldn't get banned from mumsnet for doing so)

I've cut dairy and soy out for ages and not seen much improvement tbh, dr is useless and just says reflux despite it obviously being something to do with his tummy which the reflux drugs seem to make worse! How is your DD now?

I think it is most likely your anxiety. I worried all of the time about my dd, I particularly remember worrying as she never babbled. Now she is three we have trouble stopping her talking .

Mention it to your health visitor, they will most likely reassure you that everything is fine and in the event that there is a problem then it is better to identify it as soon as possible to get any support you need.

HVs and GPs are useless for anything that is not glaringly obvious (in my experience). Why don't you keep a diary of your DC's development, writing down your worries? IF there is something going on, it will be easier to get help later. Hopefully baby will catch up. Good luck!

What medication is your baby on for reflux?