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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel there's something not quite right about my baby?

85 replies

puglife15 · 31/08/2016 19:46

I can't shake the feeling there is something going on with my 6 month old baby that isn't how it should be. He doesn't really babble at all, doesn't like tummy time, is sick loads, examines his hands a LOT and will just lie there staring into space. He also still clenches his thumb in his fist a lot which most babies grow out of by 2 months, and does the most awful poos and wind. He is a dreadful sleeper in the day and not much better at night. He seems like a newborn still in many ways (although he has learned to sit up and roll, just about). But sometimes he's almost too easy, if you know what I mean.

Back story is that I had a difficult pregnancy mental health wise, and was very stressed, and I worry that it's had an impact on him. I cannot tell if there is a genuine concern there or I'm projecting my guilt onto the situation and looking for problems. I'm struggling to trust my gut.

OP posts:

SolsburyHell · 31/08/2016 20:22

Remember if he was 3 weeks early, he might be closer to a 5 month old in terms of development.

HHH3 · 31/08/2016 20:24

I obviously can't diagnose anything but if I'm honest I'd say trust your gut instinct.

I 'knew' from day 1 that there was something different about DS2. No one listened to me for a long time telling me that they're all different/develop at different rates etc. But my gut was telling me it was more.

At almost 3 he was finally diagnosed with a severe speech disorder. A few months ago a paed finally took me seriously and referred him to genetics. The geneticist has a theory about what's going on and we're just waiting for results now.

I really, wish HCPs would listen to parents more.

Original poster

puglife15 · 31/08/2016 20:25

Good idea ishall and just thinking what's if write may help me to get perspective

Haribo we aren't medicating any more. It was ranitidine. Seemed to make his wind worse.

solsbury that's a good point, although thought it only applied to premature babies? He was actually 18/19 days early

OP posts:

pontificationcentral · 31/08/2016 20:26

Absolutely HHH, but even if there IS something going on with the op's ds, it won't have been caused by stress during her pg.

MintyGlint · 31/08/2016 20:26

She's slowly weaning but has reacted to soya too so it's hard going. Throws up constantly still but she's on lanzoprazole for reflux so it doesn't seem to bother her. Mucus nappies normally mean allergy or intolerance so push that point, ask your hv for a dietitian referral? It really sounds like there's something going on there, sometimes elimination isn't enough!

DD ended up on amino acid formula in the end. Not happy about it but we'd exhausted all other options. She got much more interactive after things settled but that wasn't until 7 months.

MintyGlint · 31/08/2016 20:27

Oh and ranitidine didn't help us at all.

Original poster

puglife15 · 31/08/2016 20:28

Thanks HHH, I appreciate your honesty and what you say does resonate.

I'm sorry it's been such a struggle for you to get a diagnosis.

What were the early signs for you?

OP posts:

NormHonal · 31/08/2016 20:32

Hopefully it's "just" your anxiety.

With hindsight, I felt the same about my DC1 and now know there are SEN in the mix. I was very sociable at the time with other mums/babies so knew DC1 was a little different, and did go to my GP a few times, but it hasn't been until now, several years on, that I've been able to read up on stuff and go "aha, I wasn't going mad!".

So yes, do trust your instincts too.

DropYourSword · 31/08/2016 20:32

It really does sound like it could be reflux. Have you tried the infant powdered gaviscon (not sure if you can get it in UK). My DS is on that did it's made a world of difference. Green, stinky explosive nappies that really upset him to pass are now yellow, don't smell bad and don't bother him.

Me624 · 31/08/2016 20:36

He sounds completely normal to me. My DS is 6 months and he can roll but can't sit very well yet, he likes tummy time but doesn't babble (does make noise but not proper sounds), and I think he only stopped clenching his fists all the time fairly recently. In my NCT group where all the babies are the same age, none are sitting properly, some aren't rolling, some are better than others at picking things up, some are more vocal. There is such a huge range of normal at this age.

Figamol · 31/08/2016 20:36

Hi, you're right to trust your instinct. Good professionals can identify autism from 6 months of age and can even start therapy not much later. Take videos and make notes and ask to be referred to a paediatrician. It could be something and nothing, physical or developmental, but please don't sit worrying about it by yourself. And please don't let my post worry you, its just something we went through and this does not mean yours will be the same!

HHH3 · 31/08/2016 20:37

If I'm honest I still quite put my finger on what it was in the early days. I just 'knew'.

He hit all his milestones either late or on the very cusp of being late. He has some physical features as well that I kept being told was 'just DS'. It wasn't til the paed took me seriously and examined him that she pointed out a load more things that pointed to a genetic syndrome as well.

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 31/08/2016 20:54

Ok.. I'm a scientist with a background in genetics and development. The stress you were under during pregnancy will not have affected your baby. They are really well insulated in there - there have been numerous studies done on stressed populations and pregnancy outcomes - even in really dire situations like war zones, there's no impact on the foetus. Things like extreme famine can have an effect of course but please rest assured that your stress levels, even if they were through the roof, have not harmed your baby.

However... If you, as the parent, feel there's something wrong, then push for further investigation. We've just done this with our son, and found he has really severe reflux and possible gastro issues. I 'just knew' as well. Trust your gut.

Try to separate the two issues - you're beating yourself up because you think your stress has done damage and that is NOT true. But if you feel there's a problem, push for answers.

And also, might be worth seeing your GP to explore if there's possible post natal anxiety with you as well?

MrsDeVere · 31/08/2016 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Diddlyanna · 31/08/2016 21:02

I thought the same about my son when he was this age, I was worried sick about him tbh. When we went to the paediatrician for something I mentioned these things to him and asked if he had autism or if something was 'wrong' with him, he said 'someone give this woman a slap' I still was worried sick thought he was dismissing me, now he's s happy lively charming two year old and I have no worry so whatsoever.

Notsure1234 · 31/08/2016 21:03

He sounds a lot like my ds with regards to the nappies and throwing up. It was awful at the time but things gradually got better with weaning. He's 10 months nearly and now not even sick once per day.

He couldn't sit at six months though and refuses to sit now even though I know he can, doesn't crawl traditionally just commando crawls and rolls. Doesn't pull himself up either. I go through phases of worrying about it and he seems physically a bit behind but he's very smart and engaging mentally so I'm just assuming he'll get there for now. If you are worried though then there is no harm in getting properly checked out.

Ohb0llocks · 31/08/2016 21:05

DS had reflux and it took trial and error with a lot of different medicines, and even then it ended up being something he grew out of. He still does the odd surprise vom every now and then and he's 2.8.

Astoria797 · 31/08/2016 21:06

I say this with the greatest respect as someone who raised my dn during her 1st year while ds battled severe pnd, please go to your GP and get your anxiety treated. My ds got to the point where she was trying to convince doctors that neice had all manners of things wrong with her, when she was in fact just a slow starter (as your ds seems to be).

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 31/08/2016 21:25

Sounds like my middle child. She has a slight milk allergy though which caused the excessive vomming and some interesting nappies so ask about that.

She loves staring into space even now, at 9. Nothing wrong with her apart from that she
Does things last minute. She walked at 3 days before she turned 2.

Porg · 31/08/2016 21:33

Is this your first child? I'm not being patronising, we all panic more with the first than we do with subsequent children. With your first you don't have anything to compare with. As an aunty, sister or friend you don't have the same involvement as you do with your own.

Original poster

puglife15 · 31/08/2016 21:39

Thanks to all the other posters' posts and reassurance about stress. I'll try to respond to your questions...

Mrs he can only sit up if I sit him up, he can't get into a sitting position himself but will stay upright for a minute or two by himself. Does that count as sitting? I'm suddenly not sure.

He doesn't respond to his name no, and not really to my voice either. But does react to other sounds and he will track me around the room with his eyes.

He will occasionally babble in vowels, and does a lot of high pitched squealing when he wants to be picked up. He doesn't reach him arms out to be picked up though. He can grab toys, but he isn't very dextrous with them because of the thumb thing although can do more than just hit them. He can just about get things into his mouth. But quite a lot of the time it's like he can't be bothered to reach for the toy so just lies there, stares at his hands or grabs his feet instead. This worries me a bit. Could it be tiredness??

He smiles and laughs a fair bit (especially at his brother jumping around).

I'm not sure he looks for me when upset consistently but he'll sometimes calm down when he sees me eg if DH has him.

Re: reflux, I'm really struggling with what to do on this. He's not screaming or even crying when he's sick so I don't want to medicate unnecessarily (Gaviscon really made him struggle to poo and didn't stop the vomit). But I worry it's affecting him and his sleep, just not enough to make him scream?! He will only sleep upright in the sling during the day.

OP posts:

eggyface · 31/08/2016 21:39

Reflux made my first baby very very tense and unsmily - also never wanted tummy time, sleep disturbance etc. Not dismissing your concerns but that might be part of it, you could have a stoical baby who's in a bit of pain or discomfort.

eggyface · 31/08/2016 21:40

Didn't babble either - sore throat all the time.

Original poster

puglife15 · 31/08/2016 21:42

Porg no I have an older child. I remember he was slightly ahead with language and fine motor skills but behind in gross motor skills. They seem quite different to me in lots of ways though. I should try to watch some videos of him at this age, it might help shed some light.

OP posts:

Original poster

puglife15 · 31/08/2016 21:43

Eggy what did you do in the end?

OP posts:

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