To feel there's something not quite right about my baby?

[puglife15]

I can't shake the feeling there is something going on with my 6 month old baby that isn't how it should be. He doesn't really babble at all, doesn't like tummy time, is sick loads, examines his hands a LOT and will just lie there staring into space. He also still clenches his thumb in his fist a lot which most babies grow out of by 2 months, and does the most awful poos and wind. He is a dreadful sleeper in the day and not much better at night. He seems like a newborn still in many ways (although he has learned to sit up and roll, just about). But sometimes he's almost too easy, if you know what I mean.

Back story is that I had a difficult pregnancy mental health wise, and was very stressed, and I worry that it's had an impact on him. I cannot tell if there is a genuine concern there or I'm projecting my guilt onto the situation and looking for problems. I'm struggling to trust my gut.

puglife15 You could be describing my DS1. He was windy, would puke at the drop of a hat and colicky with it. He was slow to walk and talk, and was accident prone. If he fell over he didnt catch himself!
It went on for years with me building a list of foods that would make him void litres of liquid into his pants an hour after eating them. That included peanuts, peas, red pepper, garlic and cows milk.
Nursery staff must have thought I was making it up because I got a phone call from them to come and pick him up as someone 'accidentally' fed him cows milk. I had to throw his clothes and shoes away.
His version was they made him drink it...

I banned all the bad foods, and he eventually caught up when he was a teenager. Until then literally every time I tried to talk to anyone I got the 'They Develop At Different Rates' speech.
He's now fine and can eat anything in moderation. I hiope you can find someone to talk to about your concerns.

You haven't caused it but you are worried. Mothers have innate senses and you aren't an inexperienced mother.

Make an appointment with your GP and ask for a referral to a consultant paediatrician. Your HV can't make that referral and if you are seriously worried about you baby's development then a referral to a suitably qualified doctor is required.

I really think your HV needs to be bypassed in this. They are nurses; they can't make clinical diagnoses or refer beyond the GP.

Follow your instincts and get your baby checked out by a qualified specialist doctor. Hopefully your fears will be allayed. x

Your DS sounds exactly like DD.

That counts as sitting, yes, and playing with feet is OK.

it's probably worth mentioning to your HV - my DD1 was similar - hardly slept at all as a baby; sat at 6 months but nothing else - we went for a check at 9 months and they were very concerned about her not moving (though it was very handy that she was always where I left her :) )
they referred us to check for developmental delay but that week she started crawling and was walking by 11 months; she's now just turned 17 and is studying hard for A levels - I think she was just a little bit of a late bloomer in baby terms haha

My middle child was like this - almost too easy. I worried a lot about global delay, or autism. She had speech delay too and was just not as "switched on" as I felt she should be.

Now she is 5 and she's fine. She's a gentle soul, still easygoing, sweet natured, won't get a chatterbox label any time soon - but she knows what's what and is keeping up well at school. She isn't a firecracker personality, and is happy to take a backseat in group activities but there's nothing actually wrong with her, it's just her quirk/personality. All children are different. My eldest was a firecracker type, busy, bossy, curious and chatty so obviously I worried all the more due to the difference but they are just different personalities. But keep an eye and go back to your HV / GP if you feel things aren't progressing as they should, if only for reassurance.

Nothing you did or didn't do will cause your Ds to have developmental issues.

I too say trust your instincts.

He sounds a bit like my Ds was at 6 months.

My son never babbled, he just made a croaky sort of noise, but with enough variation for me to know what he wanted, until he was nearly 3. Then one day he comes up to me and says "can I have drink?". He's now 26 has a degree and a baby on the way.

Myla you've articulated it very well, he is not as "switched on" as my older very chatty noisy child - I've just watched some videos and his fine motor skills and speech are definitely behind, compared to him.

BUT I need to remember he was basically not put down for the first half of his life so far, and all he did was squirm, thrash, vomit and cry and I really can see how that would set him back.

I'm not sure if my instincts are telling me something is wrong with him developmentally or connected to reflux or whether there's even a connection between the two. I'm not sure my instincts are even saying anything is wrong at all tbh. I'm so bloody tired ;)

Either way I'm going to try not to worry about it and will book a GP appointment for a month's time.

Thanks for all your thoughts.

Hmm if it is your second I would be more inclined to get advice. It could well be something simple like the reflux, my friend's ds came on leaps and bounds after his milk allergy was diagnosed. He must have felt too poorly to concentrate on learning new things, poor little thing.

My DD was diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum at age 8 but from birth I had a gut feeling something was not quite as it should be. So, I can't tell you to dismiss it.
I also wouldn't let people try to tell you it's down to anxiety or PND.
My HV picked up on DDs behaviour at three months and referred to paed. who then quite happily told me to go home and enjoy my NT baby!
So don't expect professionals to have all the answers either.

OP it sounds like your DS could have multiple food allergies. My DD has cows milk protein intolerance, plus a whole host of other food intolerances and allergies. She is 13 months and we still don't know what all of them are yet, as we have had to introduce new foods so slowly. She is allergic to foods that are normally very easily tolerated, such as carrot (and any other orange fruit or veg) and courgette. Now we know this it explains why she kept having horrendous reflux and stomach issues, even though I cut all dairy from my diet while breastfeeding.

Our local allergy clinic has been amazing in helping us, from skin prick tests, to arranging a meds protocol with the GP, to dietician appointments to help negotiate the minefields while weaning. I would push your GP for a referral to an allergy clinic, or at least a paediatrician, who can refer on if necessary.

I don't know if this applies to you, but my DD has been on the late side in hitting some milestones such as sitting and crawling, which seems to stem from having virtually no tummy time due to the horrendous reflux. She is now doing really well though.

Good luck.

Not rtft so sorry if I'm repeating anything but just wanted to say my DD had silent reflux and cmpa and soy allergies. Wasn't really controlled properly until she was on 20mg omeprazole and I was on a total elimination diet (ebf).

I worried about her a lot because she seemed behind other babies at first.

She's 22 months now and developing normally and actually 'ahead' of some of her little friends on some things (I put that in ' ' because it's not a race! )

Now I look back I think these things contributed to her very slight delay:

• she was in pain. Therefore constantly distracted by it and not interested in toys, learning to roll etc
• because of the pain she wanted to be upright in the sling a lot so didn't get as many opportunities to learn to roll and sit etc
• I suffered from anxiety in pregnancy and post natally and was severely sleep deprived so I don't think I was sending her very chilled out vibes! I think I was making her feel stressed out which also distracted her.... Giving myself a big mental slap to stop projecting anxiety around her actually made a difference to her mood and how much she relaxed.
• she was massively sleep deprived due to the reflux and sleep is so important for brain development... It's hard to concentrate on learning new skills when you feel like a zombie!

Get your babies reflux meds reviewed... Omeprazole works! Good luck OP

Oh and DD also dos the hands balled up tightly into a fist thing until about 6 months.... Think it was just a pain/tension thing with her and the fact that she's always had a very serious anxious little personality!!

I wasn't able to get any hand prints off her until 11 months!

puglife my ds has company and reflux. I was at the end of my tether with lack of sleep when he was 11 months and the GP agreed to a trial of omeprazole. Within 4 days he was sleeping in 5 hour stretches. Things got worse a few weeks later when I realised I had been eating a lot of eggs. He is allergic to egg but I had thought he could tolerate it through breastmilk. Obviously not!

I would second asking for a referral to a paediatrician.

With regards to milk allergy, has anyone advised you to avoid soya too? Apparently around half of companies babies also react to this as proteins are similar.

Finally, with regard to tummy time, I cried to the paediatrician when ds was just a couple of months older than yours as at that point if I moved ds even just to change his position he would be sick. If I tried to lie him on his tummy he started crying within seconds. The paediatrician reassred me that being in a sling and spending some time in a jumperoo would strengthen the same muscles (not entirely sure how but made me feel much better) x

Gah cmpa not company!

My son did this with egg and sesame seeds! Vomited badly. Still has food allergies... It was very difficult to pinpoint the precise foods.

Can you keep a food and vomit / poo diary and take to your GP? I know it's s pain in the arse but worth it. Get a referral to your local allergy centre where they can test him? Testing is notoriously unreliable at this age but even so it would be worth getting him fully assessed.

Children can have multiple food allergies yet still be gaining weight.

Keep going & trust your instincts re the development too. Ideally keep a diary of milestones in your red book and keep it up to date.

Trust your gut, we are our children's best and only advocates.

Op, I could have written your first post.
Dd had all the problems you describe and more, didn't crawl till she was a year old, didn't walk till 18 months and not properly till 2, cows milk allergy, didn't seem to be able to chew food, wouldn't nap and woke every 2 hours at night till about 10 months.

It was a massive source of anxiety for me, and I didn't spend more than half an hour away from her until she was about 2.

If it helps dd is now 3 and apart from a few minor problems (constipation, some issues with fine motor skills) she's happy and healthy.

What will be, will be. If you're concerned, see your gp, but please don't let any issues get in the way of you enjoying your baby, I still feel guilty for not relaxing and enjoying dd for what she was.

Get your gp to refer to a paed definitely. But (and I am sure you do this) enjoy him. I am saying this as you sound so similar to me and my second son. Even if there is a problem somewhere, my ds2 only began to really move onwards when I began to enjoy him, chat with him, lie down with him and relax and accept him for who he was. He was less 'busy' than ds1, was forever in turmoil with sick and poo. At the age of 7 he was diagnosed with autism. He is still now different but I wouldn't swap him for anything. I am not saying that this is your ds by the way, just saying that if there is a problem (and yes, do investigate) still enjoy him and take his lead. I remember coming home from asda with ds and putting him in a new body suit with no legs. I had sensed that he needed more relaxed, softer clothing. He was so contented and happy. (This was after he had had a minor operation which improved things). I just lay with him and looked at him and thought I'm going to enjoy my baby now. I am sorry if this isn't like you and I am finding it hard to explain but yes, take note of differences, but enjoy him at the same time, because even if there are real issues, he is still wonderful.

Sounds pretty normal to me (HV)

Can I also mention that dd was very laid back like your son is and sometimes she is a blessed relief lol!

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling pretty despondent today - not helped by lack of sleep. I'm getting really ratty with my older (demanding) child. I've been trying to properly observe baby's behaviour for the first time and DS1 keeps screaming and shouting and jumping virtually on the baby!

All the baby has done today really is cry/scream, smile/laugh at his bro briefly and bite his hands which I guess is teething. I realise he very rarely makes noises which aren't cries/squeals or laughs or a kind of "huh huh" noise a bit like a little laugh. He very occasionally makes a sort of bbbbboo noise almost like blowing raspberries.

I put him in his swing chair for a few minutes while I made breakfast and he just hit one of the toys repeatedly without even looking at it. He hasn't responded at all to my voice but jumped when ds1 hit his bowl with a spoon. I notice he loves looking at my hands. He's arching hiS back, seemingly to look around more than in pain.

Not sure if any of that sheds any light! Oh and he did the world's biggest poo

Puglife I am not surprised you are tired. I remember feeling that way. Were you given a baby book when your child was born? Why not note down diary form things that he does, how he is that both make you happy or cause concern. It will be nice to look at later when he is older anyway and if you ever need it for health professionals. Not reams just quick notes.

Hi. I'm in a similar boat, didn't sleep much last night. Although tbh yours sounds fairly normal - it does sound like it is reflux related. The fact lo is sitting up and playing with feet, and batting at toys, is great.
I'm not sure how worried I should be, but I'm terrified. I've also had a feeling about one of my twin boys, 5.5 months now. We took him to docs yesterday and have been told he's a cause for concern : (
Initially he will need a brain scan, and physio. He suffered silent reflux badly early on, sorted now for the most part but still tricky to get him to feed a lot of the time. But it's the fist thing which is concerning everyone. He keeps only one fist tightly clenched most of the day. He does occasionally bat with it, but can't seem to grab things and definitely doesn't use his thumb at all. His muscle tone is generally stiff. He loves to stand supported, sit supported just about, and has been a tummy time trooper since day 1, smiles and laughs but just keeps that damn fist closed - and this is the only thing the docs seem concerned about. I'm so upset. If your lo is starting to uncurl fists and use them I would definitely take hope from that - and also if it's not one-side of the body I believe that is good too. Mine will grab something dangled by his right side with his left hand still : (

Oh schween that must be worrying for you. I hope you find out what is going on soon.

Well the HV seemed happy enough with his progress although we are getting the thumbs checked out with gp in a few weeks. I'm feeling better about it too and less anxious. As a pp said what will be will be and I'm just going to try to enjoy him while keeping am eye on anything that concerns me. Now term has started again I'll also start going to baby groups where I can do a bit of comparison! Thanks everyone for your contributions. I'll keep you all updated.