to be fed up of lack of inclusion of my dd in circle of friends

[sotired2]

As a family we are in a group of friends who I thought I got on well with all DC all play nicely at same school live same area etc

This summer I have lost count of the play dates/family gatherings we had at our house. With not one returned invite but FB is covered with pictures of group gatherings our invite must of been los tin the post for!!

I am beginning to feel really paranoid - would you:

1 confront (nicely) friends involved and ask them what you've done wrong

2 start distancing yourself from group

3 just carry on feeling s**t with situation

No answer but I feel your pain. I've even taken various children on holiday with us (paid for by me) yet it's always me who has various kids over here or takes them all out. Mine rarely get invited to anyone else's. It pisses me off but I've chosen to ignore it.

You could comment on the posts asking when the next one is so your invite doesn't get lost in the post again.

Seriously 1 then 2. It's not a mistake but a pisstake.

2 probably or possibly 1.

You have to be careful with 1 though because sometimes the truth hurts.

If for example the truth was that you or your DC got on their nerves or something, would you be ok with hearing that?

It seems that either you are not all as friendly as you thought OR is it possible that either you or your dd are difficult? I have a group/circle and there is one child that is very needy, attention seeking and controling of the rest of the children. Her mum is of the "she is rather spirited" type. In honesty no one wants to invite them, but do out of obligation. OP the fact that they are not keeping their gathering "secret" might suggest that they don't consider you to be part of the group?

Is there one parent you could speak to first rather than confronting them as a group?

I have been wrecking my memory for any incidences which could of caused offense and can think of none - only good times we've had as group with no confrontations between any adults.

The DC all have squabbles but nothing OTT and its never just one of them.

My DD has hearing problems but nothing none of them hasn't dealt with before (known group for some time and only this summer there seems to be issues)

When DC are at mine they just seem to play happily together.

The first few pics I just thought get together could of been a spear of the moment thing but there has been weekends away etc now as well.

DH says we have enough to worry about and to ignore but I cant and its really getting me down.

Other issue is it is DD birthday coming up and she is naturally wanting to invite their DC but I really don't want to but have always up to now allowed DC to pick for themselves for their parties.

Oh I feel your anger.
I fell out with my "friends" for the same reason. They were always going on days out, taking each other kids if one of their mums couldn't make it, and my poor mite was always left out.
I remember one time. I was minding my one of my ex friends dd and one of my other ex friends wanted to come to my house and take my friends dd out for a few hours and drop her back at mine, but I was told." She couldn't take my dd". Now how is that for fucking cheak. What mother/parent would go for that. Her own child being left out in her OWN HOME. Away and fuck.
That was the straw that well and truly broke the camel's back.
I bumped into one of the auntie's of my so called friends who informed me. You should give............ a call you know. She misses you, and little ilive. They all do. To which my reply was. Well they should have treated us properly then.

I think the suggestion about speaking to one of the other parents privately is a good idea - I would definitely avoid any comments on fb photos as this could lead to embarrassment which might make the situation worse for you.

Maybe a casual text message, like 'just saw the photos of you all at X, looked amazing! We would have loved to come!' As an opener?

Op do you not want to invite them to your dd's party because the parents (who are organizing the weekends away without you) are excluding you? In that case I would back off completely from them and move on. If they ask you about it say that you had seen lots of evidence of exclusion, no hard feelings as if etc. I woudn't show them that i am annoyed about it.

I'm just so fed up with it all and the pettiness of it.

I have been their for all of them in times of need but excluded from the fun times.

I also hate upsetting people and would rather know and be able to make amends apologise for whatever it is than this exclusion I'm currently facing!