To think staying with in laws is not a holiday

[Caramelsalt]

DH parents moved to France years ago, before our children came along. They have recently started with slight digs about how we do not go to visit them. We have been over a few times but not since kids were born....they live in the middle of nowhere and visiting involves a plane and car hire or ferry and a 12 hour drive in France neither of which are cheap. Also if we visited we cannot go when the weather is good as they let out their holiday cottage to paying guests so have to go off season. Other things that put me off are:

1. Have to completely self cater so again adds to cost (bit bitter about this as we always feed/booze/house them when they come to us)
2. Last time we went PILS drank all our booze(enough to last the week) and then got huffy when we didn't buy more.

3.Absolutely fuck all to do there, nothing in walking distance, several hours drive from beach etc. I don't know what they see in it!

It's not that I dislike them although to be honest we see so little of them I don't really have much of a relationship with them either. I just feel that considering it's so boring and expensive I would much rather spend the money and precious annual leave entitlement on something the whole family would enjoy. DH is starting to talk about going back over but I think it's more out of feeling obligated than anything else but I feel bad saying no. Am I being a miserable selfish git??

It wouldn't be at all rude to suggest a joint holiday.

What rot.

Your DH is the problem here.

If he wants to see more of his parents then he has to accept that the way to do that is to turn seeing them in to something enjoyable. I don't see why him telling them there isn't much for young kids to do in an out of season cottage in the middle of nowhere is so difficult.
Sometimes you have to put other people out a bit so that you aren't the one always feeling put out and resenting it.
Otherwise does he go on his own for a few days?

You could compromise and go somewhere else France for a holiday, setting aside a few days at the start of the holiday to visit them. Then you could have a have a lovely week or 10 days at a fab beach resort to look forward to as a consolation!

My uncle lives in the limosin - although it is miles from the sea there are lots of lovely rivers and faux-beaches where you can swim and sunbathe. Have you looked in guidebooks/googled to see what you might do in the area?

But i def think it would be reasonable to insist that you are allowed to go when the weather might be decent.

And you could start another thread (and name change?) to see if anyone has any suggestions of what you could do while there. The first time we went to my uncle's we went all the way to Vassiviere to swim (minimum 50 minute drive away), dp and i googled it and found a much nicer place, much closer - not an unknown place, just no one had thought to suggest going there....