grandparents giving 3 year old coffee

[abbinobb]

according the the 3 year old anyway and i'm inclined to believe him because I remember MIL asking me when he was 9 months old if he likes coffee and she just has really weird views on kids.

I hate him going over there anyway as they just don't like me an disregard anything i say/ask. e.g not to give him lollipops or whole grapes because of the choking hazzard etc.
(not actually my MIL as were not married but just for ease of typing!)
I'm not being picky and pfb am i, you really shouldnt be giving 3 year olds coffee??
He never sleeps when he comes back from there and i guess i know why now, last week they were out with him almost all day and went swimming with him and he still didn't sleep until midnight.

AIBU to tell them to stop this shit or he's not going over there? I don't want to create another massive war with them but i also really dont want my 3 year old drinking coffee

YANBU. Kick up a fuss. What kind of idiot gives a growing child coffee?

YANBU...mine used to like an occasional cup of milky tea at that age (where you dip the bag for 5 seconds!)...but coffee is a whole different ball game and I would not be impressed.

I'm with you on the lollipops and grapes too...mine are 8 and 6 and I still cut up grapes for the 8 year old.

If they're not going to listen is there any point saying anything?

Just don't allow him over there unsupervised.

As a thought though? Could they be giving him hot milk or something in a coffee cup and letting him think it's coffee? I used to buy mine babyccinos and they loved drinking their "coffee" like the grown ups.

Utterly bonkers to give a 3 year old coffee! They need to be put straight on this one - what does your partner think? Can he tell them?

Are you sure it's coffee though? My in laws give my nephew tea & coffee but it's actually just hot milk. His mum approves though as they all drink the stuff & this is him joining in.

I would ask if they actually gave him real coffee & if they did tell them never to do it again. If they do it again either only let him visit supervised or just stop taking him

Like reallyanotherone says , he could just be under the impression it's coffee. I remember drinking tap water that I was told was Grandma's special wine.

Could it be decaf?

Decaf just subs caffeine for chemicals.

Really doubt it's decaff because there's no way MIL would drink that and it'd be weird to buy it just for DS. I dunno how to say it without sounding judgey but theyre jsut the sort of people that would think it's fine to do it. Or even purposely do stuff because i don't like it.
THey said he kept getting told off by the lifeguard beacuse he was running on the sides of the swimming pool, but WTF why would you let him do that it's dangerous ffs, if he tried that and i was with him i'd take him out the pool.
Also DS is very hard to trick, hes kind of a suspicious child and he knows what coffee is because he smells mine and says if it's coffee or tea etc (if it's tea he's allowed a taste and he knows that so smells to see)

Stay with him when you go there; don't give them sole charge if you can't trust them

I also wondered if he meant a babycino.

If they won't follow your wishes (lollipops or coffee) don't send him there, and tell them why.

A sip of coffee perhaps? Why don't you ask?

And both tea and coffee contain caffeine

My Neice drinks tea with three sugars, has done since she was still drinking out of a bottle.

It pisses me off but I've been shot down so many times by her mother and MIL that I now keep my mouth shut.

I wouldn't let her give it to my own. You need to be very clear about your rules.

Just ask.

Coffee shops do Babycinnos and there's no coffee included maybe it's not as bad as you think? Clutches at straws

Your priority is your child. GP are a secondary priority.

To turn a mumsnet favourite around. How would you act if it was your parents? Are you feeling obliged to accommodate them despite your reservations because they are the in laws?

I'd make sure it is coffee. He's 3, he probably saw Santa, ate fairy dust and thinks he's had beer before.

What age is it acceptable to drink coffee and tea?
Genuine question.
My lads are 20 and 17 and have never had it. They choose not to and they can't say they don't like the taste because they have never tried it!

You need to find out the facts - at 3 my DS1 loved a nice 'coffee' together, but what that meant in reality was I warmed some milk and then put enough decaff powder in to make it look very slightly brown.

I'd be much more concerned about ignoring choking hazards to be honest - coffee is certainly not ideal for a 3 year old but a one off wouldn't cause any long term harm. Ignoring choking advice could be fatal.

My 3 year old had juice yesterday and pretended it was coffee

If it is real coffee kick off about it. Adults get problems drinking it so who knows how it can affect a child. Personally had to give it up myself due to palpiations.

You are seriously asking if you 20 and 17 year old can have tea or coffee?

I would just make a comment about how DS seems to think he has had coffee but you are hoping he is joking/misunderstood.
My MIL purposely lets DS have things she knows I disapprove of. I picked him up the other day and as I walked in she said "I told you to eat that before mum came". He was eating a dibdab. I was not impressed but she has always done this.

My PILs talk about my DH drinking coffee aged 4 or 5 as if it was an impressive sign of how advanced he was.

I had to make it very clear that our children not to be given coffee.

My understanding is that coffee (and tea) inhibits iron absorbsion and therefore isn't a great idea in small children.

There's no nutritional benefit and it's pretty addictive so it seems like an odd choice of drink for a child.