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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know IABU as I am the 'noisy' neighbour, but WWYD?

109 replies

Yambabe · 30/08/2016 17:00

We live in a smallish semi, quiet area. We ride motorbikes, and DH sometimes tinkers with them. We listen to rock music, not usually at ear-splitting volume but DH will often have mates round in the garden on a Friday/Saturday so there is music and chat. We try to be considerate re times etc and we do get on with all the neighbours - in fact quite often some of them will be in the garden with us of a weekend!

So that's the background about us. We will always apologise if our noise is bothering someone, and tone it down if we can, I don't think we are the neighbours from hell but you might not want to live next door if you don't want any noise at all.

My AIBU/WWYD - we have had new next-doors within the last year. They are a younger couple, no kids, couple of dogs, we get on in a "hello over the fence" way but don't know them well, have taken parcels in (as they have for us) etc. It's been fine. They've had some work done on the house, there's been some noise but nothing we can't live with considering how we are ourselves. I am self-employed and work from home, and for the last few weeks Mr next-door has also been at home during the day. He possibly works in education? Anyway he's been putting his music on during the day. It's not loud, I can't really make it out, BUT it has a low throbbing bass that is making my whole house vibrate! To the extent that I'm finding it really hard to concentrate on work, it just kind of fills my head and makes my teeth itch!

I'm hoping that it's just a temporary thing while he's at home during the day, but if not WIBU unreasonable to mention it to him and try to explain that it's not the volume of his music it's the bloody bass that's doing my head in?

Or considering the noise that we make ourselves do I just grit my teeth and live with it?

OP posts:
Yambabe · 31/08/2016 23:00

I have just accepted that I AM the neighbour from hell and karma is catching up with me.

Am just a bit relieved that at least some of my neighbours will be joining me in hell! Grin

He was playing some dance-type music this afternoon, loud enough to make out the tunes but without the bass that had been making my windows shake. I finished a really complicated partial exemption VAT return with no problems and I don't even like dance music......

OP posts:
AnnieOnnieMouse · 31/08/2016 23:10

I used to have a problem with vibrations, rather than noise from speakers. I got a silicone baking sheet, and cut it in half. This cushions the speakers enough so the vibrations don't travel. (If that doesn't solve the problem - make biscuits!)

pollymere · 31/08/2016 23:26

Maybe explain that you work during the day and that the music is making your house vibrate for some reason. If it's not a speaker issue, maybe ask if he could not play it nine to five?

trafalgargal · 31/08/2016 23:30

Why does everyone always come to yours ? Do they not want to disturb their neighbours with noise ?-------

gib1973 · 01/09/2016 00:27

Lot of grumpy people on here :( I would be happy to be your neighbour and to maybe pop round for a drink :) I am glad that you have sorted things out with him xx

kali110 · 01/09/2016 00:43

Op i would rather have you as my ndn playing your music than rnb and d&b that i have to listen to several times a week Hmm
Having music in the garden is awful though ( i wouldn't mind yours!)it drives me potty.
It's not nice.
I wouldn't mind you haven't people over in the garden, as long as it didn't go on till the early hours and you weren't too loud.
Sounds like your neighbour is fine with you though!
Unless your fixing your bikes in the garden or revving them there, i don't exactly know what your supposed to do about their noise?
Bikes make noise when they're started.
Neighbour by me has a right noisy car when it's started ( and driven) but i wouldn't complain about it.

BlancheBlue · 01/09/2016 00:50

You sound like you are pretty noisy so no you can't complain - perhaps you might think a bit now how your noise impacts your neighbours?

LucyintheskywithRainbows · 01/09/2016 02:02

My neighbour is a total PITA with music/lawn mowing/diy etc (not to mention it sounds like an elephant stomping about when we're upstairs in our bedroom). I used to think we all had a fairly good relationship but now I just think he is an ignorant @rse and try my best to avoid. Never mentioned anything to him tho. So maybe your neighbours are the same? Grin and bear it....

Rishaar · 01/09/2016 16:17

Sorry Yambabe, but music in gardens does affect your neighbours. I wouldn't assume that a lack of complaints mean that all is well- I try to avoid complaining or stirring things ups with neighbours unless absolutely necessary.

One of my neighbours whose garden backs onto mine plays music and has friends round in the garden all weekend. It pisses me off no end that their "enjoyment" of their back garden means I can't enjoy mine or even have my windows open!

My benchmark for what constitutes antisocial neighbour behaviour is this- if everyone in the neighbourhood did the same thing at the same time, would it be un-fucking-bearable? Every neighbour with 15 people chatting and playing music in every garden would be a nightmare.... Don't inflict that on your neighbours. You want "peace and quiet" while you're home all day. Spare a thought for us poor buggers who only get the weekend and have to listen to rowdy neighbours.

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