Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To not go to a wedding at 36 weeks pregnant?

79 replies

Rattusn · 29/08/2016 08:03

I'm Invited to a wedding at around 36 weeks pregnant.

The main issue is that it is abroad, and if I were to go into labour, then it would obviously complicate matters somewhat.

I could take a ferry and drive, which I assume would be allowed, but I'm not particularly comfortable with that.

It is a reasonably close friend, who I think may get annoyed. WIBU to turn down the invite? If it was a UK wedding I would go, but I don't feel like going abroad in late pregnancy is a good idea. (Dh would not have be coming)

OP posts:

pitterpatterrain · 29/08/2016 08:50

100% agree with Stella.

Finding a way to get there is one thing, finding a way to get insured for any potential travel medical emergency is another. My work insurance stops at 30 weeks.

Depending upon the country you could rack up not insignificant bills if something were to happen.

minijoeyjojo · 29/08/2016 08:51

I went to France for a wedding last year at 35/36 weeks, it was a bit nerve wracking at the time but I had a fab time. My DD didn't end up arriving for nearly 2 months after (she was very overdue!) so it felt like a distant memory when she eventually came out.

It's up to you, I researched where the nearest hospitals were, contacted the place we were staying to ask about local doctors etc and worked out what we'd do passport wise if I did have a baby abroad. I also got specific pregnancy insurance to cover the costs of medical care abroad, which also included £500 of money to spend if we did have a baby, which meant I didn't need to bring any equipment with me (just in case!).

I flew in the end, they let you fly until 36+6 I think as long as you've got an uncomplicated pregnancy and you have a Dr's note. It seemed easier than driving for ages - being stuck in a car for hours would have been quite uncomfortable at that stage.

diddl · 29/08/2016 08:52

If you're a shortarse like me it might not be possible to get behind the wheel comfortably & still reach the pedals!!

SeenYourArse · 29/08/2016 08:55

I flew on a 4 hour flight at 30 weeks pregnant (31 on return journey) and had to get a doctors letter as the cut off is 28 weeks on your return. It wasn't pleasant at the airport returning home,big hassle with scrutinising my letter and then being taken into a side room whilst they rang their underwriters and I had to speak to them on the phone! They eventually let me fly but it was touch and go! Don't reccomend at all

Funnyface1 · 29/08/2016 08:55

No way would I be going abroad at 36 weeks. The journey alone could set you off. Especially without the support of your partner! A shame you're friend may be put out but you must put yourself and baby first. I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow and cannot imagine doing that kind of traveling at even 30 weeks. I don't think any health advisor would encourage this so maybe use that and "blame" them when talking to your friend.

minijoeyjojo · 29/08/2016 08:57

www.ravenhallgroup.co.uk/pregnant-travel/

This is the travel insurance I used, it covers birth abroad (be careful lots of policies cover only complications of birth, but not just a natural birth) and will cover the baby too once born.

magoria · 29/08/2016 09:01

A friend having a wedding abroad and getting annoyed if someone at 36 weeks pregnant doesn't attend is a pretty selfish and shitty friend.

Is she always like this?

Will she be annoyed if you go and something does happen that you have ruined her wedding/stolen her lime light?

LadyPenelope68 · 29/08/2016 09:03

YANBU whatsoever! No way would I have gone to a wedding out of the U.K. at 36 weeks! If your friend is annoyed, then she's not a true friend!

hiccupgirl · 29/08/2016 09:03

I wouldn't and I did miss my niece's 18th birthday party at 37 weeks be aisle it was a 3 hour drive away and I couldn't face travelling in the car for that long by that point. I was just too tired and sore. Strangely I was up to doing a 5 hour round trip that I drove at just under 36 weeks but then the exhaustion hit.

I think unfortauntly your friend isn't really going to understand if she hasn't been pregnant herself or if she had a very straight forward pregnancy but you have to do what's right for you.

minijoeyjojo · 29/08/2016 09:07

To add again to my earlier post, I went because I really wanted to go. My friend would have understood entirely if I hadn't. I also had my DH with me, I probably wouldn't have gone if I'd have been alone.

Hulababy · 29/08/2016 09:12

For abroad YANBU at all.

And TBH even in the UK you wouldn't be unreasonable as everyone feels different at that stage of pregnancy. Term is 37-42 weeks so actually 36 weeks is only a week early. Some people at 36w are tired, feeling uncomfortable, may have issues such as SPD, still have sickness etc.

But as for abroad I'd definitely say no, and your friend should surely understand that!

BikeRunSki · 29/08/2016 09:13

No, even if s ferry company would take you.

Imagine if the baby did vine while you were away and things didn't go super smoothly and you needed to spend a few days or more in hospital - or longer.

Or getting a passport to bring the baby home.

I didn't go to my brother's wedding at 37 weeks pg. it was 8 hrs away in the UK. Techno geek nephew set me up a webcam though.

Oysterbabe · 29/08/2016 09:31

No way! I had DD at 35+5. I'm barely leaving town in my 3rd tri next time.

SomedayBaby · 29/08/2016 09:39

I went to a wedding at 38 weeks which was 350 miles from home but in the UK...never again. The travelling was bloody miserable and uncomfortable and every twinge I had had dh panicking I was about to go into labour.

No way would I go abroad, probably not past 30 weeks.

Calaisienne · 29/08/2016 09:50

P&O ferries "rules"
^On North Sea routes women who are more than 28 weeks pregnant should consult their doctor before travelling and will be required to provide a medical certificate, covering both the outward and return journey dates, prior to travel. If the medical certificate only covers the outward journey date, then a second medical certificate will need to be obtained prior to and for the return journey. Failure to do so will result in embarkation being refused. Travel will not be permitted where women are more than 34 weeks pregnant.
On Short Sea and Irish Sea routes a medical certificate will be required for women who are more than 38 weeks pregnant. For the avoidance of doubt, note that for all routes, the stage of pregnancy previously stated refers to the stage reached at time of travel and not at time of booking. The medical certificate is required to confirm fitness to travel. A maternity certificate will not be accepted in its stead. In special circumstances we reserve the right to refuse carriage or request a medical certificate at any stage of pregnancy. You should be aware that we will not be able to supply any seasickness remedies.
x. If, in our opinion, you are suffering from any medical condition that may endanger the health or safety of any other persons on board then we reserve the right to refuse to allow you embark or require that you disembark.^

Even if you can get the ferry I would not want to be squashing a 36 week bump behind the wheel for a long drive, nor could I stick that not knowing where the next loo stop was or put up with the sore back.

firawla · 29/08/2016 09:54

I was about to say yabu (if close family) but abroad changes it, no yadnbu - I wouldn't either

Tastesjustlikecherrycola85 · 29/08/2016 09:57

I think it's too risky, they will understand I'm sure

LagunaBubbles · 29/08/2016 10:01

No way would I even consider this. It doesnt matter if there are "hospitals abroad", I wouldnt want to risk giving birth in one, far away from home.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 29/08/2016 10:02

I went to a wedding in Prague at 34 weeks pregnant, but 1) DH also came and 2) The bride's mother (staying in the same hotel as us) was a midwife! Still a little bit mad though, looking back

MoreCoffeeNow · 29/08/2016 10:02

Say no. It's a very poor friend who wouldn't understand.

ateapotandacake · 29/08/2016 10:39

Omg YANBU. I imagine your friend doesn't have kids if they might get annoyed. 36 weeks pregnant and abroad is not the worst thing in the world but it's not unfeasible you might have a worry and be stuck somewhere you don't speak the language etc. If you do decide to go have a serious research into worst case scenarios: can you call an ambulance, will you have to pay upfront, can you get some phrases written down like 'my baby isn't moving', 'I'm in pain' etc?

Cannonbear · 29/08/2016 10:45

I was driven and took a ferry at 32 weeks and it was hell. I was uncomfortable, exhausted and vomiting everywhere. At 36 weeks not a chance.

80sMum · 29/08/2016 10:49

You are definitely NBU! At 36 weeks, I didn't want to go anywhere! I don't think you would be allowed on a plane anyway, that late in pregnancy.

BlackeyedSusan · 29/08/2016 11:09

I had to give up driving at that point as I could no longer get my legs round my bump to stamp on the brake pedal in an emergency. oh and needing to pee every half hour as baby headbutted my bladder. not being able to breathe well as baby's bum was flaring my ribs.

Lunde · 29/08/2016 11:39

When I was at ferry check in this summer the woman in the next lane was being asked for medical certificates (that she didn't have) as they use the same rules as flying. No idea if they let her on

Personally I would not go on a ferry which has no medically qualified staff at 36 weeks.

I would skip it

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread