to ask if you have and why you have let go of some long friendships?

[CoolToned]

Friendships that lasted for years.

Because I met my now DH and she was jealous of my new relationship, and became really really difficult. Basically because I no longer got drunk and cried about shit dates and one night stands she wasn't interested. She told everyone nasty things about me too.

Yes, she moved away. She got married and I went to the wedding but received no thank you for the gift which annoyed me. I just didn't want to bother because it was always was about her. I do occasionally text her.

When I realised how awfully she treated me by seeing how she treated her OH. I let her away with so much over nearly 10 years but hearing her outright say she was lying to him, using him and knowingly ruining his life to make hers easier for a few months just made me grow a spine and leave it. Shame I didn't get the money she owes me back first (only thing I regret)

Yes and I'm still happy I did more that 10 years later. She was a bully

Once you lose respect for someone it's pretty much game over.

This really made me think maggie. I blocked a friend because she turned into a monster. We had been through so much together including her very serious life-threatening illness. She went from a vivacious fun-loving woman to a manipulative and scheming bitch. She stole off her family, lied about her taxes, went after other friends' husbands and treated me like the hired help. She gossiped about other friends and one by one they all dropped her; I even caught her out gossiping about me. When she made some cruel racist attacks and I could not forgive her. She was quite aware of what she was doing even laughing at it. That made me decide it was time to go. I felt very guilty about dropping her especially as she had been so ill, it was like mourning. But my life is calmer without her. I don't even know if she is still alive - how sad is that?

My very oldest friend, known her since Primary school, so lovely in so many ways, but underlying racist. Cannot overlook the comments any more, also combined with the Brexit vote, we saw each other in early July, it was just too soon, her crapping on about the "Polish next door", cannot deal with it anymore. She is my childrens' godmother, and loves the kids, and they love her. Gutted.

Friend no 1: After 16 years of friendship, she had been ringing less and less and always made excuses to meet up or cancelled. I rang and text and tried really hard to keep contact.

The final straw came when she couldnt come to my wedding and i really wanted her there so i changed the date as hadnt sent the invites yet and then she never showed up.

She rang months after and i was ill and shirty with her.

I then rang to make amends a year later but she was cold and distant.

I realised i had been doing the chasing for years and she was self absorbed, i still think about reconciling but she has made no effort to contact me so typing this has made me realise friendship is dead. Its been 6 years since i phoned her.

Friend no 2: My closest childhood friend and me parted way after 16 years when i found myself pregnant and she never rang or visited me. She bought a baby gift when dd was born but ive never got passed it, i really needed her and we had been thick as thieves all our lives and teenage years up till then, i was pregnant at 19.

My other friends disappeared around the same time with two remaining including friend no 1 mentoined above and one other who im still in contact with.

Its sad i have other friends but the trust and intensity of the friends from youth is different now and ive never replaced those friends.

Friend no 3: was an amazing friend and we had the most amazing heart to hearts so i flew abroad and paid out loads to support her at her wedding, the wedding never happenned and i supported her through that too but when i announced i was getting mat
matrried, 3 months later, she cut all contact dead, i thought it was a mistake and spent mo ths trying to contact her, thinking she was depressed or ill etc but she has never made contact again. That was 10 years ago.

Friendship is hard.

The only time I ever ended a friendship was a friend with serious MH issues. I gave her a job she desperately wanted and unfortunately the stress of working triggered an episode of psychosis, and she wrote letters making serious accusations about me.

Even though some of them were not possible (mind control etc.) the company had to do an official investigation, and I was put in the situation where I either had to give a statement revealing her MH status, or my whole project would be cancelled and a dozen people fired.

I still feel incredibly guilty about it, because it wasn't her fault at all, it's an illness.

Two childhood friends. I had been single for ages whilst they were in long term relationships. I was always at their beck and call. Started dating now DH and when it got serious they dropped me like a stone and adopted another single friend to be their new pet. They never had a nice word to say about anyone and I naively didn't realise they clearly had nothing nice to say about me behind my back. It all came out after. I don't miss them at all. I just miss the years of my life I wasted doing things I didnt want to do and spending a fortune in the process.

I finally realised that my friend of 20 years plus was a taker, would throw me over for a better offer, and only contacted me when she needed/wanted something. I haven't missed her, I got tired of defending her to others, and am happier without her.

Seems I am not alone that friendships have been lost when one has a child and the other cannot...

I lost a baby and tried, unsuccessfully, for over 12 years to have another. During that time I was unable to be around any of my, previously close, friends who were pregnant or who had babies. 100% my fault. I miss them.

Ironically after I adopted children, my closest friend who was also infertile and had gone through the treadmill of IVF with me, could not bare to be around my children. I understood but I miss her and have not formed a close friendship since. Being the mother of children with special needs does not easily lend itself to friendships

1. she was a user.
2. he was a user.
3. she was a bully who suckered me in to thinking she'd changed. She hadn't. Slowly but surely she started to bully me again.

I distanced from all 3.

I was dumped by a friend. Her husband came on to me, I told him how disgusted I was and that I'd tell his wife if he tried again. She suddenly went cold and dumped and ignored me. I found out years later he'd lied and said I'd come on to him. She didn't even value our friendship enough to consider he was lying. She found out the truth though, but I wasn't interested in her renewed friendship by then.

I've cut off contact with a friend of 10 years recently. She sent me a horrible text message saying that I should be embracing my HG, and that I obviously because I wasn't doing that, I didn't want my baby. She then put up a Facebook post about 'pregnant women' that was a thinly veiled attack on me.

I realised that I've supported her through a lot of huge life events (and gladly done so), but that she's never been there for me.

I am very sad about it, because we were close once, and her family are important to me too. But I can't keep letting her kick me when I'm down. Maybe in a few years we'll get back in touch, but this is the right decision for me now.

Only once, with an old school friend; we both had very abusive fathers so shared a certain empathy - except that hers damaged her so badly she could do nothing without abundant tears. I supported her through job loss, the death of her mother, various illnesses and countless other crises, always having to watch every word I spoke in case of more tears. I even offered to help source counselling, but she refused anything offered and simply cried

Then my own mother died and I got nothing, not even a card ... "I didn't know what to doooooo" she wailed. I let that one go, but when my son and (then) DH also suffered serious illnesses with no word from her, I realized it had all gone too far and I was being a fool

Took me over 40 years to get to that point with her and I still feel bad about it ...

About ten years ago, the person who was my best friend wrote me a letter explaining that she didn't want to be friends anymore. I had just got out of hospital after a depressive episode and accepted that she couldn't handle having a friend in that position. My DP had previously tried to tell me that she didn't seem to like me but I had thought he was mistaken. She had diabetes and an eating disorder which didn't mix well (caused her to lie a lot and occasionally needed someone to make sure she didn't go hypo after bingeing) so I had put anything strange about her behaviour down to her possibly feeling uncomfortable about that.

A few months after sending the letter she had a change of heart. Tried to pick things up but it was never the same. She runs a great charity which I really believed in, and over the years we gave all we could spare (and a lot we couldn't) to her and her family so they could continue to run it full-time.

Then last year, a couple of months after my mum passed away, she wrote another letter ending the friendship again, this time because we won't allow my abusive FIL to have contact with our children. We were actually volunteering at her charity at the time (and doing it well, she agreed) but suddenly we were no longer welcome on the premises. At that point my present DH said that she had been talking about me as if she really didn't like me and had been trying to get him to lie to me about various things, even apologising to him for not telling him that I was 'psychotic' before he married me. (There is no hard evidence for this but apparently A Voice has been giving her information). I realised then that she hasn't liked me for a long time and everything I do is fodder for her mis-interpretation and dislike.

We can only think things continued as long as they did because they needed the funding for the charity; ironically, we managed to bring my wealthy FIL on board as a donor just before she cut us off so at least the charity won't suffer.

A few, one for turning into a huge bridezilla then pregzilla and it was just too exhausting to do the look at me routine and another for discovering she had the morals of an alley cat.

I think I made her uncomfortable as she would look me up and down then talk at me about - her wealth, fabulous holidays, restaurants. Then the endless boasting about how clever, intelligent and wonderful her children are. I realised I would spend hours not speaking just listening to her monologue called "My Perfect Life". Shame because she used to be such a kind, sweet and generous person. I have never told her the reason why I stopped replying to texts - what can you say "Your constant boasting smacks of insecurity and I am sick of driving for an hour just to sit in silence to listen to it". I don't miss her.

Best friends for 22 years. Ditched her because everything is an issue. Everything is doom and gloom. She drinks and then everything is 1000% worse.
On nights out she would slag me off to other friends.
She even turned up pissed to my baby's christening which was at 1pm. Can't be doing with all the negativity.

I was in a psychiatric hospital after a breakdown.

I rang my "friend" as my boyfriend dumped me whilst I was in hospital because he was embarrassed by my illness and said "Well, who could blame him?".

Good riddance to bad rubbish, both of them.

I had 2 friends I made at work, we became a bit of a threesome, going out for dinner, and round each other's houses a lot. They were fun, we used to have a good laugh. But. One in particular would always be rude to waiting staff. It was so embarrassing. She was curt, and dismissive. And would make loud snide comments. The other one found it hilarious. I didn't.

And as we got to know each other really well, and I guess they began to feel comfortable, I started noticing their casual racism too. it made me feel deeply uncomfortable.

It got to the point where I wasn't looking forward to their company. They were a laugh. But they were also dicks.

I just withdrew. They both emailed me asking what was going on etc., but I just didn't want to get into a discussion about it. I thought they were dicks, and didn't want to talk though it and remain friends. So I just kind of ignored them til they went away! All quite unpleasant and uncomfortable.

It's made me really wary of getting close to new people. I have a fantastic group of "old" friends though - people I've known since school. Lovely people. So I don't need any new friends, thankfully. I think new people I meet find me stand-offish (e.g. the school mums). But I'm not really bothered.

Lying. Stupid arbitrary lies all the time.

After my friend had a baby she just seemed to drop me. Not because she was busy with the baby (she was very confident and out seeing other friends all the time). I'd had a miscarriage too so was over sensitive. She lived about 40mins away and never once offered to come to see me, even though she was constantly in my area for family/work. It was me trying to see her.
The final straw came when she turned up at my house, baby in tow. She had driven to her mother's house but found she wasn't in so wanted to stop at mine until she got home. 6hours she was there. I thought that was pretty cheeky from a woman who hadn't been bothered with meeting up.

You often find that these build up for a while though. I'd had huge doubts about our friendship for years before either of us even thought about a baby!

Oh, I dropped another friend when she developed a problem with a mutual friend. Snide comments, bullying behaviour. Mutual friend was bewildered and wasn't remotely rude. Friend tried to bitch about mutual friend. I'm not a "I'm not getting involved" person when it comes to bullies. I cut her off. I don't want nasty folk like that in my life!

Two.

First one was my best friend from being 11 to about 27. I just realised in the end she wasn't a very nice person and was always looking for a way to make a dig / slag off something or someone in my life to make herself feel better. We ended up falling out over something really petty and I just found I had no interest in sorting it out.

Second one we were friends for about 10 years, went travelling together but although she was a nice person in a lot of ways she was very materialistic and always felt she looked down / judged me - my house, my clothes etc and it made me feel crap about myself. In the end we just drifted apart there was no argument.

I miss them both in some ways but I do think my life is, on balance, happier without them.