To detest FAMILY day out, FAMILY meal, FAMILY fun!

[lulucappuccino]

Why do some people use the word "Family" to describe everyday activities?

I come across it on MN, Facebook and often irl.

I mean, the kind of families who do everything together anyway.

"Oh, we had a great family holiday". You never go on holiday separately and haven't for fifteen years.

"I made a really tasty pasta bake. #familymealtimes." As opposed to any other type of meal you ever have.

"We enjoy family day outs at the local arboretum."

Etc, etc.

Don't get me started on "Quality time".

I'm going to have some quality family time now, mumsnetting.

I don't understand the making memories thing. Surely everything is making memories, unless you have one of those Oliver Sacks-esque disorders where you forget it all. And how do you know which are the memories that your child will treasure? Going out specifically to do something so that your kids can have a memory of it (rather than just enjoy it on the day) is kind of depressing. It's like the RL equivalent of instagram.

I don't really have any happy childhood memories. My husband and I often talk about creating happy memories for our children

I bought a 460g bag of Mini Daim Bars from IKEA #don'teventhinkofgoingtoIKEAonaBankHoliday

They were labelled XXL not Family Sized so I ate them myself

#feelsicknow

But can't you just do fun stuff and the kids get to decide later what their happy memories are?

I probably shouldn't say but all the DH, DD, DS etc on here. Mine are rarely darling, can you not just type D, S, H or even better FWS - fucking wee shit, ie my FWS just tore a clump of hair out of the other FWS's head.

Threads like confuse me. I use hashtags like the ones mention because they sum up the way I'm feeling in that moment. I also some times use ones so sum up how crappy the day has been. Why does it matter how someone phrases things, isn't it nice that they are happy in that moment ?

As for "family holidays" "family meals" I would happily say we are having a family holiday because sometimes my husband and I holiday on our own, he holidays without me, so family holiday is a family holiday. Family meals out to me mean with everyone, not just the 3 of us, but extended family.

I truly don't know why people get annoyed/irritated by other people's phraseology.

An acquaintance of mine on the Book of Face uses the hashtag livingthedream whenever posting statuses or pictures of her, DH and children. It gives me the rage and makes me turn this shade ---->

zansserif it's why I started this

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2717516-Stupid-childhood-memories

I can't stand those memes "share this post if you love your son/daughter/children etc" what as opposed to not loving them??!!!

For crying out loud - read the OP, Muskat- it's not about people in your situation re holidays then!

Twee hashtags - I cringe in your general direction.

Ha ha
So many funny observations.
I try to let it wash over me esp as (and definitely not always) many of the worst offenders on my feed are deeply unhappy, I think it ma be that saying things are great gets them through the day - lets them believe it a bit ?
I tend to find when I'm #livingthedream or #blessedwithfamilytime the last thing I'm thinking about is fb.

I'd rather wait til I'm feeling bored and grumpy and get in to fights on MN !

But can't you just do fun stuff and the kids get to decide later what their happy memories are?

Well that is actually what we do but because of past experiences we consciously do things that we know will give our children an opportunity for happy memories.

Oh thank you for this thread OP. Bloody marvelous. I agree.

Its when you go for a trip out with one of those #makingmemories #familytime families that the full implications unfold.

Instead of paddling in the sea with their kids or getting in the paddling pool or pushing said kid on the swings or just watching the kids enjoy themselves they are getting the kids to pose for the perfect photo. They miss out. They are so far from making happy memories for the children because they are never getting stuck into the fun, just letting it unfold.

The sad thing is that the kids mimic this and instead of getting involved, they start asking to have their photo taken.

And that is why I cannot be on FaceBook

It takes seconds to take a photo. Nobody is missing out.Did we worry about poor neglected children whose parents were taking photos on their compact cameras and taking them to boots to get developed?

I love having albums full of pictures to look at, as a FAMILY we often get the photo albums out and reminisce. It is also nice to know that when I am not around anymore that my children will have photos of us all together.

Have to disagree about the term 'family holiday' as this does mean something specific ( if rather literal!). There are other types of holiday ( we didn't have family holidays when I was young, it was quite clear that to my Mum a holiday was not an event that required the presence of either husband or children).

but because of past experiences we consciously do things that we know will give our children an opportunity for happy memories.

So what most people do then?

The #makingmemories always makes me laugh, because sure as shitting your child won't remember the ice cream or the bus or the whatever. They'll remember the bee sting on the way there or the man that smelt funny on the seat behind them or the dirty look you gave the slow walking person In front of you

I agree Sara just because the children are present it does not mean that it is necessarily a family holiday. We went for "days out" as children but never to do things that the children wanted, it was all about th adults

If most people are trying to make happy memories for their children why is it being mocked?

It's not being mocked. What is being mocked is the posting of it on FB with the sick making hashtags. Have fun, make your memories for your kids. It's still happened even if you didn't tell FB!

I have friends who post the hashtag things , not many admittedly. I just think how lovely that they are trying to create lovely memories for the children.

Someone I know insists on using #motherhoodthroughinstagram on all the pics of her offspring. I would take the piss more if I wasn't always on a #winerun

I hate the use of hashtags altogether. I get it. I get why they do it when it links to a genuine site/cause/page but it has created this breed of people who hashtag everything. Like someone who lost their purse #mustbemorecarefulinfuture[their own name] that's not a hashtag! That's you talking to yourself in a sentence without spaces!

#fuckingcringeforyoumate

Philosophy, it's being mocked because for the vast majority of loving engaged parents, it is a given that they want their children to have a happy childhood and remember it fondly. It's not something that is orchestrated and then plastered over social media

It's twee. There's nothing to congratulate yourself on - mealtimes are spent together in the majority of people's houses and every parent tries to entertain their children (making memories shit) - there's nothing to be pleased about. You're doing the minimum that most parents do!

I might be twee and doing the minimum but I like the feeling that my children are having so much more than I did. I like the feeling that I am hopefully creating lovely memories. I like the fact that my friends are doing the same. It is all good, I don't understand why that is annoying