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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think all dentists are dead inside

66 replies

shiveringhiccup · 26/08/2016 16:02

Apologies in advance for any delightful dentist MNetters out there, I'm sure you are the exception to the rule.

Just been to the dentist. I absolutely hate going for various reasons and find it very upsetting and traumatic. Fair enough, that's my issue.

However why is it that 99% of the times I have been, they have had terrible bedside manner, barely spoken to me, shoved stuff in my mouth or on my face with no warning or explanation, and then got incredibly huffy and told me off when I have struggled? I don't make a fuss by the way, I am visibly distressed (breathing fast etc) but let them carry on, occasionally needing a couple of seconds to catch my breath. Their attitude seems to be that they think I'm just deliberately trying to get in their way. Even though it is my body and my mouth.

Today was particularly bad, she was really not nice to me and I went to the car and sobbed.

This isn't even about one dentist, its happened like this at a number of them.

I've absolutely had it after today and I want to complain. Aibu?

OP posts:

BarbaraofSeville · 26/08/2016 16:07

YABU. The real psychos in the dental industry are hygienists. A perfect job for people who enjoy causing agony by scraping at people's teeth and gums with a pointy stick followed by an extremely tickly electric mini polishing machine.

I am joking obviously. I know they are all extremely well qualified professionals making everyone's teeth lovely and hygienic, or something.

Sorry that you've had an unpleasant experience. Was it an NHS practice? I think they are just under so much pressure and don't really have time to be nice unfortunately.

If it makes you feel better, dentistry is an extremely stressful profession with a high suicide rate.

BarbaraofSeville · 26/08/2016 16:08

Sorry, my post was intended to be a little tongue in cheek, and not intended to cause offence.

Couchpotato3 · 26/08/2016 16:10

And lots of dentists have really bad backs.

Beetlebum82 · 26/08/2016 16:10

I think YANBU - in my experience of dentists I have received awful care, bad manners and dismissive/ rude attitudes. A dentist actually clamped his hand over my face when I was about 7 or 8 and shouted at me, I had finger marks on my cheeks (he had sent Mum out of room to do it). I can't think of other treatments/ professions that so many people are terribly phobic of.

Marynary · 26/08/2016 16:10

My dentist is very nice. They are private though so have a lot more time. If you can afford it I would pay for private treatment.

Kalispera · 26/08/2016 16:11

My (apparently) 14 year old dentist told me I clearly prefer to 'take the palliative care route and accept that I'm going to lose teeth'.

I have literally not one problem with my teeth. I hate that child woman.

Bryna · 26/08/2016 16:11

You need my dentist, he always talks through everything before attempting anything!

DoItTooJulia · 26/08/2016 16:12

Ah, OP, that sound ms bloody awful. But no, that's not normal. I have a new NHS dentist and he's lovely-very considerate, tells me what's going on, asks if I'm ok, really wants me to be numb of gum, and tells me to put my hands up during treatment if I need a break. Find one like that if you can-I know they're hard to come by (NHS dentists I mean).

And Barbara I got it!

SpecialAgentSpartacusRoars · 26/08/2016 16:13

My dentist is the nicest, nicest man and he looks exactly like Santa
Bad or good, all dentists share the same flaw --Don't ask me complicated questions then look confused when i cannot possible answer!

OllyBJolly · 26/08/2016 16:15

My dentist is lovely - and particularly good with children. In fact, everyone in the surgery, receptionists, hygienists, dental nurses, the other dentists are just so incredibly nice.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/08/2016 16:15

My dh is a dentist. He is the best person I have ever met.

ClashCityRocker · 26/08/2016 16:17

My mum told me that dentists have the highest suicide rate of any profession. Think it's an urban myth though.

My dentist is lovely though, always smiley and cheerful. The only problem is he has really big hands and likes to see how far down my mouth he can get them.

spaintrotter · 26/08/2016 16:17

Yabu. I've just been to the dentist and he was absolutely great with both me and toddler dd.

carefreeeee · 26/08/2016 16:18

I find them very scary due to bad experiences as a child. I think my problems stem from one bad dentist mainly, but the ones I've come across since don't seem to be very keen on the patient having any opinion on what is done to them - even when their advice is not really very good! I avoid them as far as possible

SpecialAgentSpartacusRoars · 26/08/2016 16:20

I heard it was therapists with the highest suicide rate.

cozietoesie · 26/08/2016 16:21

Mine is very competent, gentle, sweet and nice. Too nice. I don't trust her an inch.

DadOnIce · 26/08/2016 16:23

They always look a bit down in the mouth if you ask me.

I'll get my coat.

CalebWomble · 26/08/2016 16:24

I adore my dentist. Probably more than is right. She's smiley and loves teeth and is a tiny bit stern and extremely clever and comfortingly bosomly

incywincybitofa · 26/08/2016 16:27

YABU
Our dentist is bloody brilliant
With the kids and us grown ups, chatty thorough and competent
That said some dentists aren't great are avenues to complain about dentists and the Oral Health Foundation who have a great helpline are probably the first place to go to chat through what seems to happen when you go to the dentist

SpookyPotato · 26/08/2016 16:27

I agree that most dentists I've come across have been cold, clinical people with the odd ones being absolutely lovely, reassuring, smiley.. incidently those ones were abroad! It's the same with doctors... The people you look to for reassurance and warmth but end up getting the opposite. I've been told it's because they are really intelligent people who often have slight autisitic traits, so aren't good at the personal, caring bit. Not sure how true that is though.

sonlypuppyfat · 26/08/2016 16:27

I think dentistry is now a two week course at night school, everytime I've been lately it's been a nightmare. I had a crown a few months ago I had all the impressions etc but it didn't fit when she put it in, so she sated grinding it down with this drill thing it took forever. I burst into tears and I'm no wuss I felt like I'd been in a fight my jaw killed for months

acasualobserver · 26/08/2016 16:31

My dentist is very nice. They are private though so have a lot more time. If you can afford it I would pay for private treatment.

I agree with this. As a pinko it pains me to admit it but going private has really improved my experience of the dentist.

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/08/2016 16:57

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/08/2016 17:00

On a more serious note

My NHS dentist has just left to go work for a hospital, I will miss her she is without a doubt the best dentist I have ever had. she is fantastic.

Letmesleepalready · 26/08/2016 17:01

My NHS dentist is lovely. Hadn't gone to one for over 3 years and was dreading it. Almost looking forward to the next appointment (almost!)

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